Womanizer

It had been a restless night for Megan. She rolled out of bed at six a.m., feeling as if she hadn't slept at all.

She'd been haunted by dreams of Brian. Dreams that had been a mixture of fantasy and reality. Memories of last weekend had twined seamlessly with a different version of the previous evening, one in which Brian hadn't simply hugged her and said he was glad to be back.

She felt guilty for entertaining such notions. She and Brian had made an agreement; they had promised each other that one weekend together wouldn't change anything. Yesterday had proven to her that this was an easy promise for Brian to keep. He'd acted completely normal during their conversation and later, at the restaurant where they'd had dinner with Janine and Zacky.

He's not thinking about me as anything more than a friend, Megan said to herself, making her way quietly to the kitchen.

So Brian was going to be perfectly capable of putting the weekend in Baton Rouge behind him. Megan had vowed to herself that she, too, could just cast it aside and continue their friendship; however, she was now finding that it wasn't going to be as easy to forget as she'd originally believed.

Megan started a pot of coffee, slumping against the counter to wait for it to be done. She was surprised by the appearance of Zacky before the coffee was ready.

He smiled. "Hey, sweetheart."

"Hi, Zee."

"What are you doing up so early?"

Megan shrugged. "I just couldn't sleep."

Taking two mugs out of the cupboard, Zacky glanced at her. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine."

Zacky set the mugs next to the coffeemaker, then moved to lean on the table, facing Megan with his arms crossed over his chest. "Who's Bama playing today?"

"Mississippi State."

"Is it a home game?"

"Yeah."

A hint of relief showed on Zacky's face.

"Zee..." Megan shook her head. "I wish you could relax when I'm with Brian."

"You understand that I trust you, right?" Zacky said.

Megan nodded.

"And I don't care what Brian does, in most cases," Zacky continued. "But, as I've already explained, you're like my kid sister and I love you and you mean the world to Jani. If Brian hurt you, I'd owe him a fist in the face, even if he is my best friend."

"I have a brother, you know," Megan reminded him.

"A brother who chose his girlfriend over you."

"He loved her, Zee. What happened in the aftermath is irrelevant. He was head-over-heels for that girl. Of course he chose her over me. I was just his sister."

"You're family. Family always comes first."

"That's why you're living in Alabama to be with Jani," Megan said a bit sarcastically.

Zacky met her eyes and Megan instantly was ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry, Zee. I didn't mean it like that."

"I couldn't take her away from her family," Zacky said. "I was the one who could afford to visit my family basically whenever I wanted, so it was only fair that I be the one to make the sacrifice."

"I know," Megan said. "I do. I just..." She sighed. "Hearing you talk about family that way."

"What?"

"It makes me miss mine."

Zacky stepped to her, drawing her into his arms. "They'll be here for Thanksgiving. And after Christmas..." His voice trailed away. He didn't have to complete the thought. The plan was for Megan to move back in with her parents and transfer to UAH early in the new year.

Zacky let her go and she turned to fix herself a cup of coffee. Once Zacky had poured himself a cup as well, the two of them went into the living room.

"Have you and Jani chosen names yet?" Megan questioned.

The couple had decided they didn't want to know the sex of the baby prior to its birth. Janine and Zacky had tossed around a few names, but as far as Megan knew, they hadn't settled on anything.

"Jani really likes Adrienne for a girl," Zacky replied. "And Aiden for a boy."

"What about you?" Megan smiled. "Don't even pretend that you don't have your heart set on a particular name, especially for a boy."

"Emma or Ava for a girl. Lukas for a boy."

"Aiden Lukas Baker," Megan said thoughtfully. "I like it."

"Or Emma Adrienne Baker."

"Beautiful names for a beautiful child."

"You'll babysit whenever we need it, right?" Zacky inquired, grinning.

"Not likely. You know how I feel about kids."

Zacky chuckled. Megan bit her lip. She kind of wished she could talk to Zacky about Brian. She needed to talk to someone about him.

That's never going to happen, she thought, letting the urge fade. I have to deal with this one on my own.

**********

Brian's eyes, hidden behind his dark sunglasses, were fixed on Megan. She was engrossed in the game and oblivious to his scrutiny.

She had on an oversized Alabama hoodie and tight jeans. Her hair was in a careless topknot. She looked like any other college girl cheering on her team on a Saturday afternoon. She wasn't trying to impress anyone; she was just enjoying herself.

Brian's mind wandered, carrying him back to a dimly-lit hotel room. Megan's silky crimson hair spread across the blankets, her slender body framed by the towel that had been her only covering, her eyes closed and her lips parted. He could picture her writhing for him, hear her heavy breathing, her whimpers and her sighs, her voice crying out his name...

Brian's jaw clenched and he tore his gaze from Megan. If he wasn't careful, he'd relive last Saturday afternoon in vivid detail. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stop himself from dragging her to the bathroom and repeating all that they'd done in that hotel room in Baton Rouge.

Brian exhaled loudly, shifting in his seat. There was only one way to rid his mind of those thoughts. He'd think of something else. Someone else.

He recalled Allison's nude body, her generous bust, those long athletic legs, his hand fisted in her blond hair. He had taken her to the bedroom, pinned her against the wall, and fucked her from behind. It had been nothing like the times with Megan. He hadn't wanted to watch her, hadn't wanted to feel her under him. He'd just wanted to get off.

And, a small part of him admitted, perhaps I was hoping I could fuck Megan out of my head.

That wasn't it. That couldn't be it. The weekend with Megan had meant just as little to him as the night with Allison. It was just sex. Brian had always been good at separating sex and everything else. With Megan, there was friendship. He had to keep a dividing line between their weekend together and their friendship.

With Allison, there was nothing left, nothing except Thursday night. They had never broken up, but they hadn't had to. She'd been gone and Brian had moved on. The relationship had fallen apart without any help.

This is crazy! Brian told himself. Why am I even still thinking about this? It's over and done with. Megan isn't having any problems putting it in the past, where it belongs. Why am I?

"Bri!"

Megan's slightly annoyed voice interrupted his musings. He looked at her. She was standing with her arms over her chest, her hip cocked. All attitude and sexy as hell.

"I'm going to congratulate John," she said.

"Okay."

She rolled her eyes and walked off. Brian glanced at the scoreboard. Alabama had beaten Mississippi State 32-7. Brian hadn't seen a single play since about the middle of the third quarter. He'd been too busy with his memories.

Brian got to his feet and grimaced as a tingle of arousal crept through his groin. He had a partial hard-on. Thank God his jeans were loose. He'd hate for Megan to notice.

Sidling nearer to the field, Brian spotted Megan talking to John and Julio Jones. She was laughing and both of the guys were staring at her, looking mesmerized. Something scorched through Brian's veins as Megan placed a hand lightly on John's arm, rising to her tiptoes to say something in his ear. There was no denying that the "something" was jealousy.

Brian had never been to the point of having no control. He was close now, however. The jealousy didn't make him want to fight. No, he had other things in mind.

Megan finally joined him. Her face was flushed and her eyes were bright. Brian wondered what she and John had been talking about when they excluded even Julio.

They flowed out of the stadium with the other exiting fans and crossed the parking lot to Brian's rental. Brian was distracted for the entire drive back to Decatur. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he couldn't. Anticipation had possession of him. He just wanted to get to his house.

Megan lapsed into silence after half an hour. She cranked the volume of Marilyn Manson's Mechanical Animals and ignored Brian's existence.

They reached Decatur and Brian headed for his house instead of Zacky and Janine's.

"Um, Bri?" Megan said tentatively.

"I need you to come in and listen to something," Brian lied. "It'll only take a second."

"Oh." A tiny smile curved her lips. "Okay."

Brian cut the engine and climbed out of his car. Megan followed him inside.

He couldn't contain himself any longer; he was amazed he had even made it to Decatur instead of pulling over somewhere. Grabbing her arm, he turned her to face him and crushed his mouth against hers.

He realized what he'd been doing wrong in California. He couldn't fuck Megan out of his system by sleeping with other women. He was going to have to fuck her until this seemingly insatiable desire was fed.

"Brian!" Megan exclaimed. "What the hell?"

"Shut up." He lifted her and carried her to his bedroom, throwing her onto the bed.

She watched with wide eyes as he stripped off his shirt, jeans, and boxers. He was ready for her and had been since before they'd even left Tuscaloosa. He crawled onto the bed.

"Bri--" she managed.

He clamped a hand over her mouth. "Are you saying no?"

Their eyes met. The moment stretched, then, slowly, Megan shook her head. Brian tugged off her shoes. He peeled off the form-fitting jeans and her panties. She didn't have to be completely nude for this. He paused long enough to roll on a condom--he hadn't totally lost his senses.

Hating himself, but knowing he couldn't have her any other way, he ripped the elastic band from her hair and tangled his fingers in the silky strands. He jerked her up, guiding her to get on her hands and knees, and positioned himself behind her.

She was trembling. Brian almost relented. This could be like last weekend, a patient and somewhat tender act that was enjoyable for both of them.

No, he scolded himself. None of that bullshit. That's what got me into this mess.

Hands on her hips, he speared into her in one harsh motion. Megan cried out. Brian didn't hesitate or falter. He slammed into her over and over, eventually pulling her upright. One hand again gripping her hair, he hugged the back of her body against the front of his, still sliding in and out of her.

Using his hold on her hair, he tilted her face towards his. She had eyeliner smeared down her cheeks, highlighting the tear tracks. Brian knew he was hurting her. He didn't care. He couldn't care. This had to work. He had to get her out of his head. If he fucked her in the same careless manner as the others, he would forget her just as easily as them. Right?

He leaned in to kiss her and she returned the kiss, managing to wrap an arm around his neck. His free hand moved to her left breast, squeezing until a pained noise escaped her.

He thrust his hips forcefully. He was burying himself as deep as he could go with each thrust, earning a whimper from her each time. She hadn't even been turned on to begin with, but now her eyes were sparkling with her desire and she was wet, judging by the fact that he was able to enter and withdraw more easily.

"Fuck!" he swore. He shoved her away from him, roughly flipping her onto her back. Forcing her legs apart, he slammed into her. She gasped and he could see the pain written on her features.

A sense of satisfaction swept through him. He pinned her arms to prevent her touching him and fucked her hard enough to be sure that he was hurting her. She came moments later, screaming and squirming away from him. But he didn't let her go.

Her walls tightened around him. She had gone still, not looking at him, a few more tears falling from her eyes. Her breathing was shaky. She wanted it to be over. He'd refused to let her enjoy this. She'd gotten off, but that didn't necessarily equal pleasure.

Brian found his peak, spilling everything and cussing as he shuddered with relief. He fell off of her. She scrambled to her feet, gathering her jeans and panties and stumbling to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Brian squeezed his eyes shut and dragged his hands down his face.

What have I done?

Even with that question tormenting him, he wasn't exactly sorry. He couldn't have feelings for Megan. He'd been down that road and he knew what was looming at the end of it. He couldn't go through that again. He was going to make sure he didn't go through that, ever again.

Even if it meant tearing Megan's body, heart, and soul to pieces.