Womanizer

Megan stepped through the door and immediately experienced the sense that the house was barren. She didn't even need the sight of the suitcases next to the front door to know that the house was almost completely empty. An array of emotions went through her, briefly constricting her throat--dread, loss, a desire for Brian to stay.

Megan continued into the living room, peeling off her hoodie as she walked. Brian was right behind her.

"I'd offer you something to drink," he said. "But..."

"It's fine," Megan murmured, tossing her hoodie over the back of the armchair before perching on the edge of the sofa.

Brian added Zacky's hoodie on top of hers. He somewhat reluctantly sank onto the sofa, as far from Megan as possible. After a pause, he grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the coffee table, where he'd left them when he'd run out earlier.

"So Zee told you my dad decided to move to Birmingham to be closer to UAB," Megan stated. She didn't have to ask; Zacky was the only way Brian could have found out.

Brian frowned, a cigarette now between his lips. "UAB? I thought he wanted to move down there to be closer to his job."

"He works at UAB."

"You said your dad managed the budgets on projects for NASA?"

Megan nodded. "He does. He's employed by them, through the university."

"Oh." Brian finally lit his cigarette.

"Huntsville would have been very inconvenient. It's about two-and-a-half hours from Huntsville to Birmingham, depending on how you drive."

"And UAB? You would prefer to go there to finish your degree?"

"Not really. I hate Birmingham. The only thing good about it is the music scene."

"Then why are you moving down there?" Brian inquired.

"What other option do I have?" Megan replied. "Zacky and Jani have a baby now. I can't expect them to keep me here for two more years. Besides, I've missed my parents so much. I'm ready to be back home for a while. Once I graduate, I'll be striking out on my own."

"You could live on campus, or get an apartment in Huntsville, and visit your parents on the weekends."

"I'm saving everyone involved time, money, and stress by going with my parents and attending UAB." Megan studied him. "Why do you care?"

Brian flicked some ashes into the heavy glass ashtray on the coffee table, not looking at her. "I feel like I'll never see you again."

"I'll come up when you're out here visiting Zee, Jani, and Aiden. And it's not like Birmingham is on a different planet. They have an airport and everything. You can make the trek to the 'Ham and see me sometimes, too."

"I guess."

"I don't get it," Megan said, perplexed. "What's the issue? You're not even going to notice my absence because you're going to be in California, recording the new album. And after that, you're going to be on the road. Why does it matter where I'm living?"

"I don't know," Brian muttered. "I just...I've been thinking about doing something and you kinda factored into the plan."

Megan's heart stumbled a bit. "What could you possibly have been going to do that involves me?"

Brian took a few seconds to answer, smoking his cigarette and still not looking at her.

"Well, Matt and Jimmy both have vacation homes and I was thinking, you know, that I could buy one as well. I started seriously considering where I'd like to go when I want to get away from it all and...I really like it here."

He glanced up for her reaction and saw that she was staring at him, her mouth slightly open.

"Brian...nobody in their right mind would buy a vacation home in Decatur, Alabama!" she exclaimed with a little laugh.

"They would if Decatur held happy memories for them," Brian said, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "And if this was a place where they could spend time with people they don't get to see every fucking day." He stubbed out his cigarette and shifted so that he was mostly facing her. "I know it's weird, but being out here has been like a vacation for me. I can imagine returning here for a couple of months every year and hanging out with you."

Megan met his dark eyes. Her heart missed a beat or two. Was this leading to something more? A profession that his feelings for her were more than friendly?

"Why, Brian?" She spoke softly, unable to manage anything else at the moment. "You'd come back and spend some of your free time in Alabama with me. Why?"

Brian's brow furrowed in confusion. "Um...because you're my friend and--"

"No!" Megan burst out, her heart plummeting. She was on her feet and hadn't even consciously made the decision to stand.

Brian gave her a startled look. "What?"

"I can't do this anymore, Brian." She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, closing her eyes as she did so. When she opened them again, Brian was watching her with questions written all over his features. "I lied, Brian. I claimed that I wasn't angry or jealous that you'd slept with another girl, but I was. I claimed that we were just friends, that the sex meant nothing to me, that I could dismiss it and never let it affect our relationship. Every single one of those was a lie."

"Megan--"

"I like you, Brian," Megan interrupted. "I like you a lot. I was attracted to you before we ever had sex, but I was determined not to let it grow into anything because you'd proven that Zack and Jani were right about you. I was so determined that I convinced myself that I could play your game, that I could kiss you, go on a date with you, fuck you...and it wouldn't matter. I was wrong."

She hugged herself, dropping her eyes to the toes of her sneakers, peeping out from beneath the hem of her jeans. "I'm sorry. I'm not giving you an ultimatum. I just can't listen to you call me 'friend' anymore. I can't listen to you talk about other girls. I can't pretend like it's all okay, like I don't have these feelings." She lifted her eyes back to his. "I can't risk that we'll slip again. I can't risk a repeat of that Saturday night, after Mississippi State. I'll give in. I can't resist you. And I'll tell myself that I don't care. Or maybe I'll tell myself that this time, it's real, it does matter...to both of us. I can't do that to myself. I have to do what's best for me."

Tears spilled down her cheeks and she hated herself for this sign of weakness, but she couldn't have stopped them if she'd tried. She was giving Brian up and it was one of the hardest, most painful things she'd ever had to do. She knew it was right, though. She couldn't pretend to be his friend. Being around him would keep her in constant pain, never allowing the wound to heal. Getting the hell away from him and keeping her distance was the remedy. Time heals all wounds.

Brian's expression remained mildly bewildered. It seemed that her tirade had washed over him and was gradually sinking in. She wondered how long it would take for her words to hit home and what he would do when they did.

It doesn't matter, she said to herself. I won't be here.

She needed to escape. Now. If she permitted him to gather his wits, he would start all his charismatic smooth talk and she'd be helpless. He was used to having to regain control in situations with females who were attracted to him. It was as natural to him as breathing.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She walked briskly out of the room, snatching up her hoodie on the way. She was through the front door and halfway to her car before Brian even moved. He got to his feet, following her path to the front door.

He opened the door, but didn't bother running after her car, which was backing down the driveway. She had unloaded a bomb on him and his mind was reeling. He needed time to mull things over. If he figured out something that might ease her pain and absolve him of his actions in regard to her, he would get up at the crack of dawn to share it with her. If he didn't...

I'll fly to California with the memory of her crying in my living room haunting me, he thought. And that will haunt me forever.

He turned, shutting the door behind himself, and went back down the hallway. There was no way he could leave with this between him and Megan. He had to fix it. He would stay up all night if he had to.