So Far Away

”So you knew that you had a son with another woman and you never told me about it?” I exclaimed.

I was seriously about to rip off my hair. I could've punched Jimmy, that's how mad at him I was.

Apparently, the woman that had showed up at our front door was that very same woman that Jimmy had cheated on me with years ago, and now they had a three-year-old son together. Yippee. Fucking hell.

And what hurt the most was that not only had he known about it but he also had kept it from me. He hadn't planned on telling me about it, ever.

And only when the woman shows up at our house asking for money, I find out about it.

”Look, Rach, I did it for us. I knew it was going to ruin our marriage. It would've destroyed our family and I couldn't take that risk,” he told me.

We were standing in the middle of our back yard.

We couldn't be inside since we didn't want Mason to wake up because of all the shouting and arguing.

”You did it for us? I'm so sick of you keeping things like these from me! I don't understand how you had the guts to lie to me about this and then get me pregnant again!” I shouted, ”I'm going to have another child with you and I have no way out of this relationship!”

”Hey, I can't change what's happened!”

”I'm sure you'd do it all again if you had the chance!” I screamed, ”I'm your wife! I deserve to know if you have children with other women!”

”Of course you do, I know that! Everything was just going so well and I didn't want to hurt you!” he shouted.

Every time he took a step closer to me, I took a step away from him. No way was I going to let him come near me.

”Have you seen him? Your son?”

”No. I don't want to be a part of his life. His mother doesn't want me in his life,” Jimmy told me.

”You don't even know what your son looks like?”

”No.”

”What kind of a father are you? What kind of a husband are you to me? What kind of a person are you?” I exclaimed and shook my head slowly.

”I'm trying really fucking hard to do the right things and yet I always seem to fuck up. Rach, I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me,” he said quietly.

”I'm going to give her some money and we can continue our lives like this never happened, okay?”

”Excuse me? Are you serious? Do you think that I can just forget that my husband has a child with someone else?” I exclaimed, ”Do you think that you can fix this with money?”

”No, of course not! But, seriously, what are you going to do? We're about to have a baby, Rach. And what about Mason?” Jimmy asked, ”Come on.”

”You're making it sound like I have to be in this relationship. Well guess what? I think I've had enough,” I muttered, ”This is too much, Jimmy, too much.”

”Please, baby.”

”Who else knows about that child?”

”What? Uh... Just Brian... And Matt. And the rest of the guys,” Jimmy said quietly.

”I cannot believe you. How could you do this to me?” I mumbled.

”I'm sorry, I really am! I don't know what else to say,” he said with a sigh.

”I'm going to sleep now. And when I wake up, you better not be here. I don't care if this is your house or your bed that I'm sleeping in. I don't want to see you tomorrow. I don't care where you go – as long as you're gone,” I muttered and started walking back into the house.

”Baby...”

”Do not talk to me if you ever want to see me again,” I muttered.

When I went to bed, I was mad at Jimmy and when I woke up, I was still mad at him.

The very next morning I woke up to the sound of Jimmy playing his drums downstairs.

That's it, I thought, I was going to freak out. I was going to cause a scene and tell him to get his stuff and kick him out of the house. I was really, really mad at him. I didn't want to live under the same roof with him anymore.

As I marched into the room where he kept his drum kit, I started shouting at him but he only kept playing his damn drums.

He completely ignored me as I screamed at him.

As nothing worked and I couldn't get him stop causing such noise, I took off my wedding ring and threw it at him.

He stopped playing and looked at me.

”What the fuck?” he muttered, ”Put that back on your finger. Now.”

”Get out of the house. Didn't I tell you to get your shit out of here before I woke up?” I exclaimed.

”I decided that I'm not leaving,” he said with a shrug.

”Well then I'm leaving!”

”No! You're not going anywhere until we figure out what to do!”

”You don't get to tell me what to do! You don't get to decide anything in this situation, do you hear me?” I shouted.

”I cheated on you four years ago. I knew I had a son with her but because we decided that I wasn't going to be a part of his life, I thought it was the best to not even think about the fact that I have a child with her,” Jimmy told me.

”Do you not understand my point of view in this? My husband has a child with someone else. You have another family out there! What if someday that child wants to get to know to his father? What are you going to do? Have you even thought about the future? What about when Mason finds out that he has a little brother? What are we going to tell him, that his father slept with someone else behind my back?” I exclaimed.

”Rachel – ”

”And do you know how that makes me feel? You told all of your friends but didn't tell me, your own wife? Is there something else you're not telling me? Do you have other children that I should know about? Are you having another affair?”

”What the fuck? How could you even think that about me? You're my family – I don't want anyone else! And this is exactly why I didn't tell you!” he exclaimed.

”What do you mean, this is why?”

”You don't know how to talk about this without shouting!”

”Do you think I even want to talk to you about this? I want you to leave this house now!” I exclaimed and pointed at the door.

He shook his head no.

Then he stood up and walked to the door and closed it. He took out a key from his pocket and locked the door.

Then he put the key back to his pocket and looked at me.

”No one is leaving this room until we have a solution to this problem,” he told me.

What a fucking prick.