So Far Away

When the party was over, the kids and I drove home.

I wasn't honestly feeling too well so I decided to go to bed early. The kids went to sleep really early, too, but I guess they were both really tired because they fell asleep right away.

I slept for an hour before the doorbell rang.

Thinking it was mom who had come to talk about the incident that had happened at Jimmy's place, I got up and opened the front door.

To my surprise, it was Jimmy.

”Uh, hi,” I said, ”What are you doing here?”

”I just... I wanted to talk to you,” he said and shrugged, ”Can I come in?”

”Yeah, sure,” I nodded and let him in. I followed him into my kitchen and watched as he sat down.

”What did you want to talk about?” I asked him.

”I know you want me back,” he said, ”And I want you too. But it can't happen.”

”I know,” I said and nodded, ”You have Ashley and...”

”No, I mean, I would leave her for you,” he said.

”Then what's stopping you?”

”Man, this is really hard,” he mumbled and rubbed his forehead.

”Is everything okay?” I asked, getting slightly worried. He didn't seem to be OK.

”Yeah, yeah. It's just that... Ashley is pregnant,” Jimmy finally told me.

I grimaced at the thought and stood there, just looking at him for a moment.

So Ashley was pregnant with Jimmy's child which meant that Jimmy would soon be the father of not only three but four children. He would have kids with three different women and let me tell you, it was a lot. He sure liked to make babies.

”Well congratulations, then!” I said and forced a smile on my face.

”I don't want to have that child,” Jimmy admitted quietly, ”I don't want to have kids with every woman I've slept with in the past fifteen years.”

”You should've been more careful,” I told him, ”And that Ashley... Isn't she a bit young to have kids? How old is she anyway?”

”She's 19,” Jimmy said and nodded.

”19? That's, like, over ten years younger than you!” I hissed, ”What were you thinking, Jimmy?”

”I don't know... My life has become a mess. I could be Ashley father – she's so fucking young – and now she's going to have my child,” he said, ”Please, Rach, you have to help me. I don't know what to do.”

”How am I going to help you? What could I possibly do to fix this? I can't change the fact that you have two kids with me, a son with Isabella and now you're going to have a child with Ashley, too!”

”I really fucked up, didn't I?” he mumbled and shook his head before looking down.

”Well, I mean... Let's stay on the bright side, okay? Sure, you messed up but I'm sure we can figure out how to work everything out. But damn, Jimmy... You're going to have four kids,” I mumbled in shock when it really hit me.

My ex husband was going to be the father to four kids and only two of them were mine.

”Ashley is really serious with me. She wants to get married and have at least three kids while I don't know what to do with her. I don't want to get married to anyone anymore. I don't want any more kids,” he said.

”How long have you been dating her anyway?”

”For, like... Six months or something,” he said and shrugged.

”And have you been in touch with Isabella?”

”Uh, yeah... We've met a few times,” Jimmy mumbled and looked away. So he had obviously slept with her, too. Hopefully she wasn't pregnant as well.

”Right, okay... I just find this funny that you came to your ex wife to ask for help because you have probelms with your girlfriend,” I said and couldn't help but laugh.

”I feel like you're the only one that can help me,” he said, seriously, ”And you know me better than anyone. I can trust you with this.”

Jimmy and I decided that it was the best that he went home to Ashley and talked to her about the whole thing. He should tell her that he didn't want to get married, nor did he want kids. He should make sure that she knew that they didn't want the same things in life. And, after that, we would see where it goes from there.

When Jimmy was leaving, he stopped and just looked at me for a moment.

”It's going to be five years since we broke up in a few weeks,” he said suddenly.

”I know,” I nodded, ”It doesn't seem like a long time at all.”

”I always thought that we would get back together after these years. Turns out that it isn't that easy,” he mumbled, ”And I fucked up. I'm sorry, Rach, for causing all this trouble and dragging you into it.”

”You don't have to apologize, it's your life, Jimmy. The least I can do is to try and help you,” I said and flashed a smile.

He started grinning and I could've sworn that my heart skipped a beat just then.

”Somehow I just imagined us growing old together,” he said and nodded.

”Jimmy... You should go,” I mumbled.

I didn't want us to do anything reckless and I definitely didn't want Jimmy to say something he was going to regret later.

”No, just wait,” he said, ”I think... I think I'll never stop loving you.”

”Jimmy...”

”I'm fucking serious. If it weren't for Ashley and the baby, I would already be asking you out.”

”Well that's not going to happen so you really should leave.”

”Maybe it'll happen some day,” he said with a sigh.

We looked into each other's eyes for a moment before he cleared his throat.

Then he started leaning closer to me, lifting his hand up and touching my cheek softly. I swallowed hard, licked my lips and took a deep breath in.

He was so close, I could feel his hot breath on my lips and all of a sudden, I wanted him more than anything.

All of a sudden it didn't matter that his girlfriend was pregnant or that we weren't even married anymore. What mattered was that he was there, so close to me, about to kiss me. He wanted to kiss me, he wanted to be close to me.

And, fucking hell, he was my Jimmy. He was mine – like he had always been – he belonged with me.

Jimmy grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me roughly closer to him.

He pressed his soft lips against my mouth, kissing me hungrily. He kissed me like he never wanted to let go of me and I never wanted to let go of him.

”Stay the night with me,” I mumbled against his hot lips before I could stop myself.

I obviously wasn't thinking clearly and I definitely didn't think about the consequences.

”Are you sure?” he whispered and kissed my lips before wrapping his arms around my waist and pushing me against the wall, locking me between the hard wall and his body.

My head hit the wall but I kept kissing him passionately as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

It didn't matter that Jimmy had a son with Isabella or that he was going to have a child with Ashley. I didn't care about the fact that he spent most of his time touring around the world with the band. I didn't care that we weren't exactly perfect for each other or that we didn't really know how to make our relationship work.

Maybe we wouldn't spend the rest of our lives together and maybe we weren't good for each other but we loved each other and we wanted each other. I had always known that it wasn't going to be easy to be with him and I'd known that our lives would change but we belonged together.

Jimmy was my man. When it was hot outside, he was there to cool me down and when it was cold outside, he was there to warm my bed.

He was the heater for my thighs, always.