So Far Away

Jimmy didn't come home that night.

The next morning when I was eating breakfast in the kitchen, he showed up.

He walked straight to the fridge and took out a bottle of beer. He opened it, finished it and sat down.

”I went out last night. I met tons of girls,” he told me.

”Great,” I muttered and continued eating.

”I had a chance to sleep with someone else,” he said.

”Well why didn't you do so?”

”Why do you think I didn't?”

”I honestly have no idea. But hey, I hope you had fun with those other girls while I was home crying because of you,” I told him and pushed away my plate after I had finished eating.

”I did have fun,” he said and nodded.

I rolled my eyes and snorted.

”Well I'm really fucking happy for you.”

”You do realize that by pushing me away from you, you keep pushing me to other women?” he asked me.

”I'd respect it if we actually broke up before you slept with other people,” I told him, ”I don't like to be cheated on. And I don't like my husbands to have children with other women.”

”You just keep throwing shit at me. I wonder when our marriage turned into this,” Jimmy said.

”It's not like you're the victim here.”

”I'm not trying to put the blame on you, okay? I want to save this relationship and I'm trying to fix this,” he said.

”Really? Trying to fix this by going out with other girls and then coming back home and telling me how much fun you had? You know what, I had to cry myself to sleep last night and you don't even care about that. You hurt me constantly,” I muttered.

”Do you want a divorce?” he asked me.

”Do you?”

”I'm asking you. Because if you do, you can just say so.”

”Well, maybe I do, then,” I said with a shrug.

”Fine.”

”Fine!” I exclaimed and stood up.

I started marching out of the kitchen.

I didn't really want a divorce. I just wanted to show Jimmy that something had to change. We couldn't keep living like that and Jimmy had to realize it.

I made my way into our bedroom and sat down on the bed.

Not even a minute later Jimmy appeared in the doorway.

”I'm going to go get Mason,” he told me.

”Can't I come with you?”

”I don't know, can you?”

”Stop annoying me so much. I'm sick of this constant fighting,” I muttered.

”Well do you want to make up?” he asked me.

”It isn't that easy,” I said quietly.

”What's so hard about it? I'm sorry, Rach. I apologize. I don't want to keep living like this,” he said and sat down on the bed next to me.

He put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it gently.

”It's not like I want to fight. But it really hurts me when you come home and tell me that you were out with other girls. I feel like a fucking whale while being pregnant and it doesn't help to know that you don't find me attractive,” I said quietly.

”Of course I think you're attractive, Rach.”

”Then why won't you have sex with me?” I mumbled and looked at the floor.

”Because you don't want to have sex when we're fighting,” he said and chuckled.

”Whatever,” I mumbled and sighed, ”I'm sorry. I don't like shouting at you.”

”I know. Let's just try to talk about this from now on. No shouting, okay?” he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his side.

”Okay,” I whispered and nodded.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath in.

”Do you want to have sex now?” he asked after a moment.

”No, not really. I'm not in the mood anymore,” I mumbled.

”Damn.”

Jimmy and I were sitting in his car, driving to Brian's place. He was resting his hand on my thigh and we were listening to the radio. My window was rolled down and I was enjoying the breeze that hit my face.

For once in a long time, I felt like I could breathe again. Jimmy and I were somewhat okay now, at least we weren't fighting anymore. We were a family again and my god, it felt really good.

”Jimmy?” I asked and turned to look at him.

He was completely focused on driving and didn't even hear me at first.

”Oh, what?” he asked and took a quick look at me.

”Let's never fight again,” I said.

He started grinning and patted my thigh.

”Sounds like the best idea I've heard in a long time,” he told me.

”You know what? I've got another great idea,” I said suddenly.

”Hmm?”

”I want to go out on a date,” I said.

”That's not a problem.”

”But we have to go out on two dates. I read about this on some magazine. On the first night, you decide what we're going to do. And on the second night, I'll decide what we're doing. The winner, the one that takes the other on the best date, gets to choose what we do for the rest of the night,” I told him.

”So, what you're saying is that if I win, if I take you on a date that is better than yours, I can make you suck my dick for the whole night if I want to?” he asked and looked at me again.

He was grinning.

”Eh... Well I didn't exactly mean it like that, but yes, I suppose so,” I said with a shrug.

”And if you win, what are you even going to do? Are we going shopping? Are you making me
massage your feet?” he asked with a laugh.

”Well... I don't know. I'm probably going shopping and making you pay for everything,” I said with a grin.

He leaned over and pinched my cheek.

”Don't I already do that?”

”No, god, no! I always pay for my own stuff,” I said and looked out of the side window.

And that's when I realized that I had no idea where we were driving.

”Jimmy! You're going to the wrong way!” I exclaimed.

”I'm not going to the wrong way, I'm just buying us some time to have a normal, loving converstion. It doesn't happen that often, you know,” he told me.

”Oh... I see.”

”So, is tomorrow night okay? I've got a plan already for the date,” Jimmy said.

”Tomorrow is fine.”

The next morning I was feeling a bit nervous. It was our first date night, Jimmy would be taking me out on a date. And, as it was his night, he would get to decide what we would do.

”Babe? What do I wear?” I exclaimed.

I was standing in front of my closet and wondering what to put on. I mean, if we were going to a restaurant, I would have to put on a dress. And if we were just going to sit inside and play some stupid video games and eat pizza, I wouldn't even have to bother looking nice.

”Just put on some jeans and something,” he exclaimed from the bathroom.

”Aren't you going to tell me where we are going?” I asked and looked into the bathroom and saw him standing in front of the mirror, wearing only a towel around his waist.

”No. It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now, would it?”

”I guess so,” I mumbled with a shrug.

I had taken the day off from work and Mason was at one of the bakeries with mom while Jimmy and I were out. And by out I didn't actually mean out because I had no idea where we were going.

But, since we were in a car driving somewhere, I assumed we would be going to some other place than our house. But, knowing Jimmy, he could just be driving around the town and then get back home.

After driving for at least half an hour, Jimmy stopped the car. I looked out, noticing that we were in front of a huge store. I knew where we were, I had been there before. It was the place where we had bought all the baby stuff for Mason!

”Jimmy! What are we doing here? I thought we were going out on a date, not shopping!” I exclaimed as I got out of the car.

Jimmy walked to me, grabbing my hand and started pulling me to the doors.

”We are on a date. This is the date. We are having another baby, aren't we? I thought you might want to get some new stuff for this little one here,” he mumbled and touched my baby belly.

And, as good as it sounded, I didn't want to admit that it was a great idea for a date because I wanted to win this whole date night thing. Obviously Jimmy knew my soft spot and how to make me happy. I loved shopping all those cute little baby clothes and toys and other stuff.

I could barely keep a straight face as we walked in and I saw all the cute little pink and baby blue things around me. It was like heaven, I never wanted to leave.

I was so excited, I held on to Jimmy's hand really tightly. I really just wanted to jump up and down and scream and run around the place and buy everything.

”You know what, you can choose whatever you want. I'll pay,” Jimmy told me.

I turned to look at him with my wide eyes and gasped.

”Really? Anything? Oh my god!” I exclaimed and wrapped my arms around his neck.

”This is the best date e–” I quickly shut my mouth when I realized what I was about to admit.

Jimmy smirked and gave me a quick kiss. He patted my butt before pushing me towards the tiny clothes and shoes.

”This is going to be the best date you have ever been on,” he exclaimed after me.

Man, I would have to find a way to make my date even better. I was going to be in big trouble if Jimmy won this thing because I sure as hell wouldn't be his sex slave for a whole night. No way.

After two hours, I was exhausted and really had to pee. I was really hungry, too, but I had spent amazing time, buying all sorts of things for my little baby.

And, after we had left the store, Jimmy had taken me to a really nice and quiet restaurant.

It had been a pretty awesome date so far, to be honest. I'd had a really good time and it was hard not to grin like an idiot in front of Jimmy.

”Admit it. You've had fun,” Jimmy said while eating.

He was grinning at me.

”Well... It's been okay,” I said and shrugged. He cocked an eyebrow.

”Don't give me that bullshit. I saw the look on your face earlier, you're enjoying this!” he exclaimed and laughed. I couldn't help but laugh.

”Well, this is a pretty good day,” I said and smiled at him, ”I am having fun.”

”Good. Because that's what this is all about – trying to make you laugh after all the rough times,” he said and reached over the table to pinch my cheek like he always does.

”What are we going to do after this?” I asked him after I had finished eating.

”We're going to pick up Mason and then go out on the beach, spend some family time,” he said.

”Sounds good.”

I knew I was in trouble if I didn't find a way to figure out what to do on the next date. It had to be something big, something amazing and something that Jimmy enjoyed. He had to have the best day of his life.

And I sure as hell wasn't going to lose this competition.