Spinning.

I never expected to become famous.

I wrote music in my spare time. I didn't go to school to become a classically trained musician, I didn't really play my songs to anyone. I just wrote and recorded them in my spare time when I was bored. I graduated from school with an art degree and moved to Los Angeles for graduate school. I was planning on becoming a photography professor. I just posted my songs online, as a project I called The Lady Says, for people to listen to, and suddenly they were being downloaded by the thousands, record labels were hunting me down, and soon I was being splashed across tabloids and magazines as the new “it-girl.” I was twenty three. I grew up in rural Minnesota. I was in no way prepared for the shock of being thrust into the limelight.

I was lucky I was good at adapting, and I was lucky I could kill with kindness. Being polite to people who are shoving cameras in your face is really a job itself, and answering their questions? Oh jesus. But to me, it's worth it to have a dream of mine come true. I never told anyone, but I would listen to cds with the volume turned up, imagining what it would be like to be singing to thousands of fans who felt connected when they heard my music. It didn't make sense to talk about things like that with people who only could imagine inheriting their parents' farms when they grow older, never leaving or exploring.

When I first got my break, my label had me record my first album in an actual studio (not my closet that I had repurposed into a recording space), then sent me on tour as the opening act for Jack's Mannequin. As soon as I had started negotiations to be signed, I went out and bought myself a video camera-- I knew this was going to be a wild ride and I wanted to capture as much of it as I could. Recording, and subsequently the following tour were fantastic-- Andrew McMahon is one of my biggest inspirations and over the tour we became great friends. Half way through, the music video for my first single, “Wordplay,” went viral, and that was when my world changed from normal to “famous.” Soon Warner (my label) was trying to set me up on bigger tours, to get exposure to more fans and really push the “it-girl” persona that was now surrounding me.

After I wrapped up the tour with Jack's Mannequin, I headed back to Los Angeles for a little while before I started doing publicity rounds to hype the album's release and more shows, despite it not being released for another three months. While I was there, Warner had a party for all of the musicians on their label to celebrate Warner's anniversary. That was today. It was a fancy gathering, with a carpet and photographers and a lot of people that I had to meet. My agent, Carolyn, and publicist, Alice, spent most of the night dragging me from group to group, letting me talk for a little bit and networking the crap out of me before dragging me onto the next group. Monotonous doesn't even begin to cover it. I got so bored, so fast. Instead of getting to know people, I was spending the evening talking about tours and success and singles and business. Finally, I decided I would excuse myself to the bathroom. It gave me a chance to get away from all of the people and socializing and just breathe.

I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My red hair was curled, cascading down to my chest. My make-up was flawless, as was expected of me, the new “it-girl.” That just sounded so weird to me, I was never that girl when I was younger. I touched up my lipstick, and adjusted my dress. The emerald color really brought out my green eyes, the sweetheart top and short length were playful and cute, and it had pockets, instantly making it better than anyone else's dress out there. I chuckled to myself at the thought. I left the bathroom, scanning the crowd to see if I could find Alice or Carolyn. I didn't see either of them, instead I halted on a pair of jade eyes, which locked on mine. It didn't take me long to recognize him-- he was John, from The Maine. I've been a fan of theirs for a while, and we're on the same label-- I thought it would be super cool to tour with them, but I never actually pictured it happening. We held eye contact, and I smiled at him. He returned the gesture, before he seemed to excuse himself and walk towards me. I found myself gravitating towards him, until we were standing face to face.

“Hi, I'm John.” He held his hand out, and I shook it. I felt the energy of ten thousand lights shooting through my hand. My stomach did a flip. My heart started pounding at 5,000 miles an hour, all as soon as our hands made contact.

“Beret.” I smiled, hiding my internal reaction.

He looked so cute, hair slightly messed up with a five o'clock shadow. He was dressed in a purple button-up shirt with a skinny black suspenders and black pants gracing his elongated frame.

“You're the it-girl that everyone keeps talking about with the song that is always on the radio, right?”

“I guess so,” I blushed, “I wouldn't call myself an 'it-girl' but you know how it is! I have to admit, I've made a point to not listen to the radio so I don't hear the gossip or the song.” I laughed softly.

“I do that with The Maine stuff. It's just so weird to hear yourself when it's always on, so I totally understand. Also, am I the only one who doesn't get why we're all here?”

“I have no idea. My publicist and agent said I had to show up so I did.” I laughed, shrugging my shoulders. “They've been towing me around like a prize hen or something. I snuck away by going to the restroom to 'freshen up,'” I told him, making air quotes, “but then I came out of there and now I'm talking to you, without them...”

He laughed. “Not used to all the attention?”

“Are you kidding me? A couple months ago I was just some 23 year old driving across the country in a van playing songs that I let people download for free originally because I was going to be an art professor, not a musician and they were just made for fun. Next thing I know I'm here, with paparazzi capturing my every move! I swear they probably have so many pictures of me like, picking my nose or something.” I joked. “Do you ever have to deal with that?”

“Depends on where we are. Some countries are better about letting us just live than others are-- in Australia it's impossible to move my finger without it being captured on camera and put on the internet.”

“Oh Beret, there you are!” Carolyn came up to us, breathless, with Alice in tow. “We were starting to worry about where you went!”

“Sorry, I came out of the bathroom and I got sidetracked.” I apologized, but I wasn't really sorry. Talking to John was the most interesting thing I had done all night.

“Well this works out well, because we actually just talked to your manager,” Alice smiled, looking at John. She waved to a man and then pointed at me, and the man came over. With him was the rest of The Maine.

“Tim!” Carolyn smiled warmly at him.

“Carolyn! Is this the Beret?”

I felt myself turning 500 shades of pink. I nodded sheepishly. “Nice to meet you.” I held out my hand for him to shake, and he shook it. The pair introduced me to the band (and vice versa), then Carolyn brought up the same thought that Alice had mentioned moments before. “So Tim and I had been talking about having both The Maine and The Lady Says go on tour? We think it would be a really powerful pairing, with The Maine's fan base and The Lady Says's fan base typically being interested in similar things. Plus the huge crowds that The Maine draw in will really help put you on top.”

“It's also great because both groups are in need of a huge tour-- you could do a North American tour between the United States and Canada, hitting up all the major publicity outlets and venues on the way. It'll also be during the time that the music documentary is being filmed, so both bands can be featured and get even more exposure.” Tim added on.

The guys nodded their heads, thinking it sounded good. “When would we begin this tour exactly?” Tim inquired

“We were thinking right at the beginning of January, that way you guys will be back from Europe and have time for a short break, and the new The Lady Says album will have been released a week and a half before which is perfect timing for an in-depth North American tour. There'll be time for Beret to make a bunch of publicity appearances without worrying about getting to the next city on time.”

“I'm fine with it.” I agreed.

“I think it sounds cool.” Pat added. “Obviously logistics would have to be figured out, like venues and such.”

“We'll take care of it. As long as you guys like the idea. We'll find a third band to be the opening act, don't worry about that.”

They all agreed, and I agreed. After that conversation was over, Alice and Carolyn resumed pulling me around to network. I looked back at John as I walked away, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He was watching me walk away, but he turned back to the group and they continued talking. Life has been crazy lately, but I'm now going on tour with The Maine? Never mind that I just wrapped up a tour with Jack's Mannequin, one of my favorite bands, I'm now going on tour with one of my other favorite bands.

As the night wore on, and the party died down, I finally was allowed to go. I went to the coat check to get my jacket-- a black leather motorcycle jacket. I liked things that had a tougher look to them. I'm not a girly girl. I pulled out my phone from my purse to see a message from Andrew. I had to fumble with it for a moment. It was the new iphone, and despite having it for a little while I still hadn't figured it all out.

“How's socializing? Missing the road already?”

I texted him back. ”How'd you know what I was doing?”

“I was watching tv, some gossip show, and it was doing a coverage of your label party.”

“Jesus I'm fucking everywhere aren't I? I miss the road, socializing is lame. I'd rather be playing music than listening to managers talk about sales and tours while standing in uncomfortable shoes.”

“Lol. Rough life as the it girl. Did you meet anyone interesting at least?”

“I met John from The Maine. And apparently I'll be doing my big album release tour with them. I met the whole band but John was the only one I got to talk to.”

“That's cool. You're a fan of them, right?”

“Huge. But that's another topic for another time. How's the lady?” The lady in question is Kelly, his wife. Since being home, he's spent every second with her. I met her on the road and she's a total sweetheart. We also talk frequently-- if I'm not talking to Andrew, I'm talking to her.

The coat man finally returned with my jacket, and I slipped it on. It wasn't hot outside at all-- surprisingly, it was rather brisk. As I was about to walk out the door, I accidentally bumped into someone.

“Sorry!” I said, looking up from my phone.

“Oh, don't worry about it.” It was John. He looked up from his phone, and laughed upon seeing my phone in my hand. “We were obviously doing the same thing.”

I laughed. “Who are you texting?”

“A girl.” He smiled.

My heart sunk a little. “You?”

My phone beeped, and a message popped up on the screen from Andrew. “Good. Going through withdrawal from you.”

“That answers that,” he said, seeing the message. Uhhh, awkward. I'm not dating Andrew. He was talking about Kelly.

“Well, I should go. Get the paprazzi shit over with,” I cringed, laughing a little.

“Good luck! I'm sure we'll be seeing each other soon.” He smiled at me.

That smile stayed with me all the way home.