Spinning.

New Orleans was amazing. I fell in love with the city, winding through the streets of the French Quarter with my camera, snapping away. We had spent the first part of the day devouring Canal Street, stopping in all of the little shops and tourist attractions before having lunch at the restaurant Andy and Kelly had recommended to me (with good reason-- the food was amazing). It felt even better to be done fighting with John-- and everyone else was glad we were done too. We were back to where we were before the fight, playfully arguing with each other and being attached at the hip, sometimes linking hands as we travelled around the streets of New Orleans.

Despite our reconciliation though, John seemed quieter than before. He also seemed fatigued, though I attributed it to his inability to fall asleep again after our sunrise stroll. However, he didn't complain as I dragged him (and the rest of the group) through the city, babbling about the history of different landmarks that I had learned when I was bored in high school history and decided to do my own research.

“John?” I bumped hips with him as we made our way down the street, the rest of the group pulling ahead as our next destination came into view.

“Beret?” He mimicked, bumping my hip back. There was a smile on his face and he seemed to be happy, but the color was drained from his skin as he responded.

“You okay?” I casually asked, snapping a picture as we moved along.

“I'm alright, why?”

“You seem tired.” I shrugged.

“Oh. Yeah, I'm kind of tired.” His eyes scanned the surroundings, taking in the old buildings and narrow streets as people passed through them. I took his word, pulling him along as we caught up to the rest of the group. We continued for another hour, the twins and Pat almost getting us kicked out of a couple places with their crazy antics. I had noticed that John was starting to lose steam, despite the smile on his face and the glimmer in his eye. We were starting to lag behind, and he was shivering.

“John, are you sure you're okay?” We had stopped at a street corner, being cut off from the rest of the group by a traffic light. “You don't look so hot.”

“I'm okay. I promise.” He meekly smiled at me, but I didn't buy it. I reached up, resting my hand on his forehead and being met with searing skin.

“John I think you have a fever.”

“Beret, don't be ridiculous.” He forced out a chuckle.

“No, John. I'm serious. You're shivering, you're burning up, and you look like you're dead.” The walk light came on and we crossed the street, joining the rest of the group on the other side. “If you don't feel good we can go back to the hotel, it's not a big deal.”

“We?” He cocked an eyebrow at me.

“What, do you think I'm going to go leave you by yourself in a hotel when you're sick?”

“Beret, I'm fine. Honestly.” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, you know so much about New Orleans and have been so excited about this.”

“So? It's not like this is the last time I'll ever be in New Orleans.”

“No, but it is your first time.” He protested.

“John, it's not a big deal.” I insisted, stopping where I was. “Your health is more important than walking around a city. Besides, I already have a lot of great memories and pictures from New Orleans, and let's be honest the rest of the group will do just fine without us, hell they'll probably appreciate that I'm not jabbering about history that they don't care about.”

A chuckle escaped his lips. “Well I enjoyed it.”

“You're probably the only one.” I laughed. “But seriously,” I tugged on his hand, “let's go back to the hotel. You really don't look good right now and you're on fire. I don't want you to overdo it.”

“Fine,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

I ran up to the rest of the group, telling them where we were going before returning to John. He didn't say anything as we turned to head back, letting me slip my hand in his without comment. Navigating our way to the hotel, it was about twenty minutes before we were walking through the main doors, the warmth hitting us the moment we stepped into the lobby. Almost instantly I could see John start to sweat, his skin paling even further. Surprisingly, when we entered the room he was still shivering from being outside, flopping down onto his bed without saying a word.

“I'm going to go get the thermometer and some medicine off the bus, I'll be right back.” I told him, standing in the doorway. He just nodded, watching me as I left the room for a moment. At the bus, I also grabbed some of the food we had, including some chicken noodle soup and a couple packets of tea. I figured eventually one of us would get hungry and want something to eat, and since he was sick tea would be good for him. When I returned, he was still laying on the bed, shivering even with his coat still on.

“Alright, open up.” I held out the thermometer, on and ready to go. John held it in his mouth, waiting until the beep before pulling it out.

“Damnit.” He grumbled, handing the thermometer back to me. His temperature was 101.3 degrees, which meant that I was definitely right about the fever.

“Are you cold?” I eyed him cautiously. “You're still shivering.”

“I can't warm up.” He started peeling layers off, removing his jacket, hat, and gloves before untying his shoes.

“Want me to go so you can change?”

“No, it's fine.” He slowly continued stripping down, still shivering despite the warm temperature of the room. I tried not to pay attention as he removed his shirt, knowing from the first time I paid too much attention to him changing clothes that I would make a fool of myself. After the shirt came his pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. Normally he would have made a joke about being really hot or something, but instead he simply crawled back into the center of his bed, piling the covers on top of him.

“Do you want something to warm you up? Tea, soup...”

“Maybe some tea.” He was buried so far under the covers that all I could see were his eyes and his hair, golden strands laying flat against the pillow.

I stood up, moving to get a mug from the kitchenette in our room before filling it with water and microwaving the cup. Plopping a tea bag in, I waited for a couple minutes so the tea could steep before bringing him the mug, along with a couple tylenol.

“It's a little ghetto, since it's microwave tea and all...” I chuckled, trailing off.

He sat up, pulling some of the blankets with him and took a sip, testing the temperature. “It's fine. I don't normally use a kettle anyways.” Taking the pills, John leaned back, turning on the television as he continued to slowly drink his tea. I perched on the edge of the bed, grabbing myself a glass of water before taking my seat.

There wasn't much on TV. John flipped through soap operas, daytime talk shows, and court television
before sighing.

“There's nothing on TV.”

“Dude, those court shows can be pretty funny.”

“Like, the judge judy ones?” His gaze shifted from the television to me.

“Yeah. The people on those are hilarious.”

“You're ridiculous.” He chuckled, flipping back to Judge Joe Brown. “If I'm disappointed in this, I blame you.”

“Well either way, The Maury Show is on after this so I'll be a smitten kitten.” I grinned.

“What if I'm not a 'smitten kitten'?” John mocked, passing me his now empty mug before pulling me closer to him.

“You'll be asleep by then anyways.” I chuckled, his head now resting in my lap. I traced my fingers along his back, letting the edges of my fingernails rake gently against his skin. He shuddered, moving in closer to me.

“Who says that?”

“I suppose I don't know that.” I chuckled. “But if I were you I'd probably be passed out.”

“Mmm.” He smiled, focusing on the television.

I could feel the heat radiating off of him, his head and one arm draped across my lap, while the rest of his body sprawled out across the bed, still buried under blankets. It didn't take long for his eyes to start drooping, silently watching the flashing images across the screen. Feeling his breath start to even out, my eyes travelled down from the television to him, resting with his eyes closed and mouth hanging slightly open. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face. He just looked so peaceful laying there, completely oblivious to what was going on around him. I carefully worked my fingers through his hair, feeling relaxed. My attention returned to the television, trying not to laugh at some of the things that the people were saying as I stayed there, not daring to move in case John woke up.

After another hour, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket, startling me from the television. I pulled it out to see a message from Jared.

”So is John really sick or did you guys just ditch for other things? ;) ”

I texted him back, rolling my eyes. He's got a temp of 101. He's sleeping and I'm watching daytime tv.”

“Oh, well then... Want us to bring you dinner?”

“Yes please. What're you getting?”

“We're hitting up a local mom & pop's diner.”

“Alright, I'll take a burger and fries then.”

“Will John want anything?”

“I don't know, I'm not going to wake him up and ask though. We can get him something later.”

“Alright. I'll let you know when we're close.”

I carefully slid my phone back into my pocket, making sure not to wake John up. Returning to the tv, I lost track of the time, mindlessly toying with John's hair as he slept while my mind wandered off to other things.

A soft knocking on the door distracted me from my thoughts, leading me to carefully crawl out from under John before answering the door. Jared stood in the doorway, holding a bag of food and a drink for me.

“Dinner?” He smiled.

“Ah, fantastic. Good timing, I was just starting to get hungry.”

“Is sleeping beauty still sleeping?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, he's out like a light.”

“That's probably good. You didn't miss too much.” Jared shrugged. “We just kept walking around, the twins and Pat almost getting kicked out of a couple other places, then we got dinner.”

“Yeah, sometimes I wonder if Pat's secretly related to them.” I laughed.

“Anyways, we're doing some gaming stuff if you want to join in.”

“Nah, I'll just stick around here.”

“Enjoying your nurse duties?” He joked, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Oh, having a blast.” I playfully rolled my eyes. “But seriously. If he needs something it's probably a good idea for someone to be here, and I don't mind.”

“Alright.” Jared shrugged. “Well if you want anything, feel free to text any of us.”

“I will. Catch you later!” I smiled at him, waving as he left.

Turning back with my food, I realized John had woken up and was sleepily watching me.

“Who was that?” His voice was scratchier than usual, sleep coating his words.

“Just Jared. He brought me dinner.” I held up the bag. “How are you feeling?”

“Sick.” John sank into the blankets. “Why is it so hot in here?”

“Because you have a fever.” I reminded him, setting down the bag of food. “Here, this might feel good.” I went into the bathroom, putting a washcloth under cold water and wringing it out before returning. John watched me, laying on his back.

“Roll over.” I instructed, gesturing with my hand. I placed the washcloth on the nape of his neck, causing him to flinch as the cool sensation hit his skin.

“In high school, back when I was athletic, we'd play games in really bad heat and we'd keep washcloths and towels in ice water so when we came off the field we could cool off.” I explained, adjusting the washcloth so it covered more of his neck.

“What did you play?” His face was buried in a pillow, his voice being muffled by the fabric.

“Lacrosse, hockey, and soccer. I was all about the contact sports.” I chuckled.

“I didn't realize you were so athletic.”

“I had to be, that was the only way you could fit in at my high school.”

“That's rough.”

“Small town life. Gotta love it.” I went back and got my food, taking a bite out of the burger as I sat down on the bed across from John. “Are you hungry?”

He shrugged, propping himself up on his elbows. “Got any fries?”

I went back and grabbed the bag, pulling the fries out and setting them on the bedside stand. I devoured the burger while John picked at the fries, not realizing how hungry I had been.

“Do you want anything else?” I watched him as he stopped eating, leaving half the fries where they were.

“No, my stomach doesn't feel very good.” He laid back on his stomach, pulling the washcloth off the back of his neck and setting it on the nightstand. I popped a fry in my mouth before taking the washcloth into the bathroom and hanging it up to dry. Returning, John patted the bed next to him, waiting for me to get comfortable before resting his head on my stomach and closing his eyes.

“Tired?”

“Mhmm,” He sighed, adjusting so he was comfortable. I returned to what I had been doing before Jared came, absentmindedly running my fingers through his hair. Almost like clockwork, I began to feel the tension leaving his body, sleep taking over for him yet again. Feeling warm and full, it didn't take me long to join him, falling asleep to the sounds of television and slow breathing.

I didn't think I had slept for long, but when I was jarred awake, the clock read 1 AM. I had been woken up by John bolting for the bathroom, feet pounding against the floor before hearing the sounds of John emptying the contents of his stomach. I cringed at the sound, taking a deep breath before making my way over to the bathroom. Leaning against the door, I was relieved to see that he at least made it to the toilet, his long form kneeling in front of the porcelain bowl. His arms clutched the seat, forehead resting against the edges of his forearms as he finished.

I didn't say anything, moving in and kneeing down next to him instead. I reached out and gently placed my hand on his back, drawing small circles as he slumped down so he was sitting while keeping his head over the seat. I tried to ignore the sharp scent of the vomit, focusing instead on what I was doing. I jumped when he began throwing up again, startled by how loud the sound actually was without a wall muffling the sound. When he finally stopped, his breath was shaky and his whole body was trembling, glistening in sweat. I managed to reach up to the sink and wet a washcloth, gently wiping the sweat from his back as we stayed where we were.

“Do you want to get cleaned up?” I meekly asked, watching intently for his reaction. He finally sat up, leaning back against the wall listlessly before nodding. He swung his head towards me, trying to force a hint of a smile on his face. “Sorry about that.”

“No apologies.” I linked one of my fingers through his. “If I remember correctly, you've done this for me before.”

“I suppose.”

“Want me to get you something while you get cleaned up?”

“Just some water.”

I pushed myself up, closing the toilet lid before flushing the contents down, and helped John up. “If you need anything, let me know.” He nodded and I left the bathroom, hearing the shower turn on moments later. I took the moment to change into pajamas, making sure there was a cold bottle of water in the mini fridge for when he finally came out of the shower. I grabbed my phone, shooting a message to Jared.

”Got Sprite and Crackers?”

A minute later, my phone beeped. ”Yeah, why?”

“John threw up. He's not hungry now but in case he wants something later...”

“That sucks. I'll run it down.”

A minute later, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Jared and Pat, Jared holding crackers and Pat with the Sprite.

“Room Service?” Pat joked, holding out the crackers.

“Thanks guys.” I took the crackers and then the sprite, carefully balancing them in one arm.

“Where's John?” Jared asked, looking behind me.

“Taking a shower.”

“Poor guy. He hates throwing up.” Jared frowned.

“Yeah, I don't think he feels too great right now.” I pursed my lips together, looking down.

“Alright, well we'll leave you.” Pat smiled at me. “Have a good night!”

“You too.” I closed the door behind me, sighing as I juggled the crackers and sprite. I opened the mini fridge, putting the sprite inside before setting the crackers on top. I heard the shower turn off, followed a minute later by the sink turning on. Sitting back on my bed, I waited for John to finish. Sure enough, John emerged from the bathroom wrapped in nothing but a towel, moving over to his bag before digging out a pair of boxers.

He turned, about to say something, when I cut him off. “I'll just turn around.”

John shrugged, letting me turn away before I heard his towel hit the floor. I felt myself blushing a little, knowing what was going on merely feet away. The bed sank as he sat down, hesitantly wrapping his arms around me from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder.

“All done?” I asked. He nodded, the stubble on his chin gently rubbing my shoulder. I could smell the mint from his toothpaste, silently thanking god he brushed his teeth.

“I'll grab the water for you, go tuck in.” I smiled, moving to get the bottle of water from the fridge and opening it. John crawled back into bed, his wet hair sticking to his forehead as he tried to get comfortable.

“How are you feeling?” I passed him the bottle of water, taking a big swig as soon as it was in his hands.

“I've felt better.” He mumbled, pulling me close to him. He still seemed a little shaky, the bottle trembling as he drank from it.

“Anything I can do?”

He set the water bottle on the table, then pulled me down so we were both laying on the bed. His head found its way onto my chest, wrapping his arms around me again.

“Stay here and sing.”

I reached up, pushing a piece of wet hair out of the way, before I softly sang.

“Here, my dear, this is where
I shake the nightmare free.

I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
to hold you in my arms
wide awake, in my arms.

I think I figured it out,
we need to be together
like the shore and the sea.
We are not one thing,
we are drawn here together,
my ocean and me...”

John was asleep in no time, his arms still wrapped around me. I settled in, continuing to softly sing until I also fell asleep.

“I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
to hold you in my arms
wide awake, in my arms

Love, we sleep apart
for the last time,
for the last time...

I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
to hold you in my arms
wide awake, in my arms
wide awake, in my arms
wide awake, in my arms
wide awake, in my arms...”



The next morning, the sun filtering through the blinds woke me up. John was still fast asleep, laying the exact way he was the night before, slow and even breaths escaping his lips. I laid there for a moment, letting myself wake up before carefully crawling out of bed.

Making sure I didn't wake John, the first thing I did was begin to clean up the room, making sure that I had all of my stuff together before making sure all of John's stuff was packed up. I grabbed a change of clothes before going to the bathroom and showering, letting the steam fill the small room as I scrubbed the sleep off of my body. Drying off, I changed into the clothes I grabbed earlier before folding up my dirty clothes, packing them back into my bag while I still had a towel wrapped around my head. I started trying to reorganize my bag when I felt the towel being yanked off my head, my damp hair falling into my face. John was sitting on the edge of the bed behind me, towel in his hands and a smile on his face.

“You looked funny with it on.” He gestured to the towel, watching as I laughed.

“How are you feeling?”

“A lot better, actually.” The color had returned to his cheeks, eyes sparkling like they usually did as he answered.

“Well that's good. I was going to just let you sleep in until we had to go, but you're already up.”

“Nope, I'm good.” He tossed the towel to the side, standing up and moving over to his bag to get clean clothes. After the last 24 hours, I didn't feel so embarrassed by him walking around in his boxers. “Thanks for last night. I'm kind of a baby about getting sick.”

“You're welcome,” I winked, glad that John was feeling better.

“Sorry I kind of ruined your whole getting caught up on sleep plan.” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, looking up at me.

“Don't even worry about it.” I laughed. “I still got plenty of sleep. Also breakfast yesterday was so worth it.”

“I'm glad.” He smiled, pulling on his jeans. “Where are we off to today?”

“I don't remember. I'm sure we'll be told once we get downstairs.” I did another sweep of the room while John finished getting dressed, making sure that all of our stuff was out of the room.

“Ready?” John was holding both of our bags, standing by the door.

“Yeah, I think so.” I moved to grab my bag from him, but he pulled it away. “What, I don't get my bag?”

“Nope, I'm carrying it for you.” He grinned, leading as we went to the elevator.

“Well then, I suppose I should thank you.” I grinned, pressing up against him and hugging him before planting a kiss on his cheek after entering the elevator.

The door was about to close, before Pat and Jared stopped it and climbed on.

“Hey!” Pat grinned at us. “What's up?”

“Not much,” John laughed, winking at me. “How are you guys?”

“Still trying to get used to you two getting along again.” Jared mocked.

I laughed, rolling my eyes. Jared had pulled out his phone and started texting, moments later my phone buzzing.

“So, did I just see you kiss him on the cheek?”

I felt my face flush.

”Shut up.”

And with that, things were really back to normal.