Savage Hearts

"You're all dressed up this morning," Jon said walking into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder, before reaching over to grab one of the sandwiches Lila was putting on a plate.

"These aren't for you," Lila slapped his hand away.

"Who are they for then?"

"I'm going to a baby shower for Kelly-Rae and Dayna. So I made them cute little finger sandwiches, I feel like I'm going to debutante functions again."

"It's so weird that they're pregnant at the same time,"

"Really? I bet you they've been planning this for years." Lila said as she went to grab her purse and her gifts.

"Probably, it's just funny."

"Yeah, um... Change of subject but I- I cried in a baby clothes store the other day." Lila blurted as she put the two presents on the counter.

"What?"

"I cried in a baby clothes store, it's not a big deal but I thought I should tell you because... Well I just thought you should know, not hide how I'm feeling."

"How are you feeling?" Jon asked reaching out and grabbing her hand.

"I'm fine now. I just went to the store to buy a gift and I don't know I just got overwhelmed and just started sobbing by the onesies. And then a store clerk asked me if I was alright and I said I was just hormonal,"

"Were you just hormonal?"

"I'm not so sad anymore I just think, with everyone getting pregnant now and I could already have a baby now, I think it's just catching up to me. But it is my time of the month so it may have mostly been that."

"Thanks for telling me, I think just talking about it may be good for us. But for now go have fun with all the girls and if you start to get sad about not having a baby of our own, just remember you can babysit anytime you want then give them back and still get a full night's sleep," Jon smiled and Lila chuckled at his last comment.

"Okay. Thank you, I feel much better about it.

"No problem. I love you, now go and congratulate Dayna and Kelly-Rae for me."

"When I come home, can we order in and get cozy on the couch?"

"Of course," Jon smiled before handing Lila her stuff and kissing her before she left.

~~~~~~~~

Lila arrived at the party a little late and most of the women were already there and mingling. She set down her gift in the pile and set her food on the buffet table before making her way over to the guests of honor. After congratulating the expecting mothers she made her way over to grab a plate of food and sat down next to Julia Bolland and Abby Sharp.

"Hi Lila, how are you? I haven't seen you since you got that gorgeous ring put on your little finger," Julia laughed.

"I've been good, starting to think about the wedding stuff has prevented me from being a good hockey girlfriend," Lila laughed.

"Enough about Lila, her engagement is old news. A little birdie tells me you're also expecting." Abby said to Julia.

"Well I don't know who this little birdie is, but the rumors are true. David and I are going to have a baby around the same time as Dayna, we were going to tell everyone soon but I don't want to steal the attention from those two."

"Julia you're too modest, if I was pregnant I would be shouting it to everyone and soaking up all that attention," Lila laughed.

"Okay Li, I can't wait to see that," Abby rolled her eyes as she tried to even imagine Lila telling the WAGs she was pregnant, "can we expect that kind of announcement soon? Is that why you're engaged now?"

"Haha very funny, like there's a chance of Jon being irresponsible enough to have a shotgun wedding." Lila laughed, almost nervously, hoping to switch the attention off of her and the contents of her uterus.

"Well we're all very excited whenever baby Toews does make an appearance, but trust me we aren't expecting it anytime soon." Abby chuckled.

"Yeah, Jon has to tame you before he'll be ready for parenthood," Julia gave a small smile.

Before Lila could even respond Kelly-Rae and Dayna called all the women over to open presents.

The gift table was moved over and the small group of women, mostly WAGs, circled up to watch the two women open all of the presents.

The gifts were an array of clothes and little booties and decorations for the rooms, mostly involving Blackhawks and Canada, causing the group to laugh. The two women then grabbed the two bags labeled: from Lila.

Both women opened them up at the same time each revealing an empty picture frame. They each smiled before exchanging an awkward look.

"Before you guys think I'm the worst gift giver in the world, I looked at all these things and I just didn't know what to get so I decided to offer to take pictures for you guys. Either when you're pregnant or once the baby is born. Or both, whatever you want. I took pictures of Madelyn so I thought I would extend the offer to you as well." Lila smiled.

"Did you take the pictures of Madelyn in the park?" Lila nodded, "Oh my lord those photos are beautiful," Dayna exclaimed.

Lila merely smile as the two thanked her and told her they would talk to her later before moving on to the next gift.

~~~~~~~~

Jon looked up when he heard the apartment door open. Lila walked in setting her purse on the floor before toeing off her shoes. She walked further into the apartment, peeling off her shirt as she entered the laundry room, throwing it in the hamper before slipping off her skirt and throwing it in as well.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" Jon laughed as Lila began to walk towards the bedroom.

"Well... I was more tired of wearing that outfit, but if its working," Lila gave a small smirk before unhooking her bra and dangling it in front of Jonathan, "I'm sorry I'm not in the mood," Lila added tossing him the bra and walking into the bedroom.

Jon followed after her and stood in the doorway as she shimmied on a pair of leggings and pulled on a sports bra and a red flannel shirt before working on putting her hair up.

"Do you want to just order take out and stay in bed?"

"You're not even going to make me eat on the couch? This is the best day ever," she smiled giving Jon a quick kiss before crawling up on the bed and getting comfortable.

About twenty minutes later the two were both sitting in bed, eating Thai food.

"So how was the baby shower?" Jon asked as he stole some food from Lila's take out container.

"It was good, not to make it about myself but I was around tons of pregnant ladies and conversations about babies for two and a half hours and didn't feel sad once."

"That's good, but how many pregnant women were really there?"

"Obviously Kelly-Rae and Dayna, but Julia Bolland is pregnant and I think Abby is too, I'm not sure about that one but she's just got this glow about her."

"So how does that make you feel?"

"You don't have to ask me like a therapist, but it makes me a little sad seeing everyone have babies all at the same time and I could have been a part of it, but at the same time we're young and without a kid we have the freedom to do what we want when we want and as you know very well I like that freedom."

"Then maybe we'll be married for a few years before we have kids, travel or do whatever," Jon shrugged.

"You know we've never really talked about having kids,"

"Really?"

"No, we should have talked after the ectopic pregnancy but we really avoided most conversations then, and before then I didn't really want kids ever."

"You never wanted kids?"

"Kids didn't really fit in my plan to do what I want whenever I want. I mean marriage didn't even fit into that plan. Then I fell in love with you and things changed and all of a sudden marriage was an option and kids seemed to just be a part of that new
plan. But I've never asked you about what you wanted. Like when you used to think about your perfect family how many kids did you want."

"Once I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I stopped really thinking about it because I wasn't sure if you wanted kids and..."

"That's not what I asked you, I asked what you used to imagine when you thought of your perfect family. That has nothing to do with me."

"For a while I used to want like five or six kids, you know like a little hockey team, three forwards, two defensemen and maybe a goalie if I was still up for it."

"Jesus Christ, five kids!? You want me to push five kids out of my vagina? What the-"

"Hey, you asked me the question and I'm just answering. That's what I used to imagine and then you came into the picture. So I had to think about you and if you were even willing to have my five hockey playing kids come out of your vagina. And my plan changed because I didn't care if I had one hundred children or no children as long as I was with you, that's where I wanted my life to be."

"Aww baby, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Lila smiled leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"Now tell me about how you picture our family, now that I am the only man for you."

"Since you are the only man for me, I know I want to have at least one kid, but if I can't handle the childbirth I don't want to get pregnant again. But I'm pretty close to my sister and you're really close to your brother, so I wouldn't want to deprive our child of a sibling so I would look into adoption at that point. But only if the pregnancy is really not for me."

"Then that sounds like our plan, for our perfect family," Jon pulled Lila into his side kissing the top of her head.