Identities

Today,
I will wake up
different.

I will not
focus
on the
sun,
beating down on my face
and
it will shine the right way,
for me.
And
the colors won't
look
so
gray.

And I won't think
down,
about the dreary room I sleep in.

Today i'll say,
"Why, it's a nice day out."
Today I will think,
Man, i'm so glad i've got a bed to sleep on,
and a roof above my head.

Today I will,
not get exhausted as I
heave
and
push
myself out of bed.

- - -

Today I will not stop and say,
"God this house needs some dusting."
I won't even groan,
along with the floorboards,
and the rest of the house,
while my weight shifts.

Today,
the musty smell of rotting wood, won't faze me in the slightest.
I won't even blink as the dust is swept up,
as I walk, bare feet to hardwood.
And like smoke, it will reach with it's tiny hands, to the dark ceiling
and get caught swiftly
in my nostrils..

I will greet the particles with
a kind hello,
and soft sneeze,
and blow of the nose.
And walk on.

Today my hair
will
look
good.
My eyes will,
g l i t t e r
like stars.

- - -

Today I will,
portray the greatness everyone sees in my future;
by doing my best
and
acting accordingly.

Everyone will love me today,
and my friends will ask,
"We haven't seen you in a while, are you okay?"

Today I will,
Hold back that awful retort
and nod.
"Yes! It is a great day today, and good to be alive!"

I will lie.

Today I will rename myself,
something spontaneous,
and
no one will
remember me
from yesterday, or the days before.

Today I strive to not be myself.
Today I have a new identity.

- - -

Today I know that this day does not have to be connected to yesterday or
recent days.
Today I learn,
I could be a brand new person.
Every
single
day.

Today I review promises I made to myself, yesterday.

I will be better.
I will do better.
I will change.
I will not be myself.
I will be happy.

I cannot promise myself i'll do these things,
but
I promised myself,
things could change.

Today I will confess my love
to a girl,

Today I will
be amazing,

Today I will
not care about what people say about me,

Today I will
not be myself.

I promised myself,
today would be the day,
Today I say,
"I will run out of this house and do something."
but today isn't happening the way I thought.

Today I will lay in bed and
think of things I will not do
tomorrow.