Status: louis tomlinson is a catch x completed. (:
Suspenders, Stripes and Pain Killers, Oh My
I'm Dead.
I have been bullied my whole childhood.
I didn’t know exactly what I did to them. I felt like I was underground beneath my own strength. I never understood any of it.
I would recall when those cooler lads would reach out for my suspenders and yank at it. It was gruesome. The pain on my back was something I could not imagine of feeling.
Back in primary school, my mum and grand could not afford much. With the much too big clothes for me, I could not do anything about it.
The suspenders helped my too big pantaloons back in the days.
The abuse went on until I reached high school.
I would remember one memory that would be in the back of my head. I was turning thirteen. I was one of those fresh meats that the upper men classes would love to pick on. Although, this memory does not revolve around anyone older.
He was my best friend from primary school. We both decided that high school would not be the same if we did not have each other.
Boy, was he wrong.
My ex-friend made my first year of high school a living hell. He was not the same lad I have known and loved.
He started to party with those guys who used to pick on me. First he would snicker at their cruel jokes at me. Then he would go and do those harsh things. He started to drink, do drugs and sleep around. He was not the same.
The worst part is that I was his friend. It pained my tongue whenever someone mentions about our ancient friendship.
I remember one day when we were on waiting for the school bus. I was standing near the pole as him and his little collection came closer. I faced my back to them as their voices came clearer. He talked as if to impress the other guys, mocking me. I remember him saying that I was worthless and that no one loved me.
I have told him so much about my mum and dad. The tears started to build up as I realized that he betrayed me.
At that moment, I turned around and looked him in the eye. I was trying to cover up my fear and look strong. His words echoed in my ears every time I remember that day.
“What are you going to do Lou?” his voice quivered in harmony. “Punch me and then go running to your mummy?”
He let out a wicked laugh and gave a few high fives. I ignored their mockery and stood quiet.
“Huh Lou?” he said in the same voice, “Are you going to hurt me Louis?”
His voice changed in a high pitch as he mentioned my name.
“Shut up Michael,” I said in a firm voice. I heard the others silent down to watch us. A circle of kids started to form as the anger in his eyes started to surface.
He clutched his fist and beamed them to the sides of his slender body.
“No one calls me Michael,” he steered as he poked a finger on my chest. “It’s Mike. Get it right dumbass.”
From behind, a few snickers filled in the silence. He smiled a devil as he turned his head to look at the crowd, as if pleased of what he just said.
“Are you stupid or just naturally like that?” I said in a small whisper.
“Look Louis. I do not want to fight you, but you are making this harder than it is,” Mike tighten his fist and licked his loose lips. “So shut the hell up.”
“Why don’t you? You’ll be doing all of us a favor.”
When I said those words that day, I felt like I’ve actually awaken. Like I have blossomed.
After that, the memory became hazy. I have not seen or talked to him after high school.
I do regret it though. I regret what I said to him. I regret becoming his friend. I regret what we have become.
That following night, I could not sleep. I felt a twist in my stomach and the lack of liquid.
I stood up in the dark and turned on the lamp next to me. The bright light it shined hurt my limp eyes. I closed my door lightly and looked ahead.
I felt hesitant before I could go any further.
I looked over to the left and then to the right. It was dead silent. I took a step as I heard the snores of some patients.
I finally found my way up to the cafeteria. I quickly searched for the switch and added the dime light.
My shaky hands thought for themselves as I made myself a cup of coffee. I added two sugars and two creams. I felt like I did not need the result of a high blood sugar tonight.
I brought myself down in a wooden chair as it moved alive. The noise below its legs rubbed bleakly against the pavements as I moved myself into it.
I brought my nose to the cup and smelled the aroma of the beverage. It punched me in the face as I left it there.
As I swallowed the hot liquid down my throat, my stomach continued to the flips it started.
I reached over at the counter top and grabbed the closet muffin. It was cold, but it will do. I started to nibble on it as I felt a rush of icy air run though my stiff body.
“Mind if I join you?”
I nearly jumped at the voice. I felt a shiver go up my spine as I slowly turned around.
“No,” I answered with out thinking before hand.
He sat down in the chair in front of me and placed his coffee mug on the table. He looked like he was in his forties.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked without looking at me. His voice was cracked. I thought he looked to young for some grey hairs.
I shrugged my shoulders and sipped once more. “Just parched.”
He nodded and looked down at his mug. “Haven’t seen you around before. Are you new around here?”
I shook my head, “Not quite.”
I didn’t know exactly what I did to them. I felt like I was underground beneath my own strength. I never understood any of it.
I would recall when those cooler lads would reach out for my suspenders and yank at it. It was gruesome. The pain on my back was something I could not imagine of feeling.
Back in primary school, my mum and grand could not afford much. With the much too big clothes for me, I could not do anything about it.
The suspenders helped my too big pantaloons back in the days.
The abuse went on until I reached high school.
I would remember one memory that would be in the back of my head. I was turning thirteen. I was one of those fresh meats that the upper men classes would love to pick on. Although, this memory does not revolve around anyone older.
He was my best friend from primary school. We both decided that high school would not be the same if we did not have each other.
Boy, was he wrong.
My ex-friend made my first year of high school a living hell. He was not the same lad I have known and loved.
He started to party with those guys who used to pick on me. First he would snicker at their cruel jokes at me. Then he would go and do those harsh things. He started to drink, do drugs and sleep around. He was not the same.
The worst part is that I was his friend. It pained my tongue whenever someone mentions about our ancient friendship.
I remember one day when we were on waiting for the school bus. I was standing near the pole as him and his little collection came closer. I faced my back to them as their voices came clearer. He talked as if to impress the other guys, mocking me. I remember him saying that I was worthless and that no one loved me.
I have told him so much about my mum and dad. The tears started to build up as I realized that he betrayed me.
At that moment, I turned around and looked him in the eye. I was trying to cover up my fear and look strong. His words echoed in my ears every time I remember that day.
“What are you going to do Lou?” his voice quivered in harmony. “Punch me and then go running to your mummy?”
He let out a wicked laugh and gave a few high fives. I ignored their mockery and stood quiet.
“Huh Lou?” he said in the same voice, “Are you going to hurt me Louis?”
His voice changed in a high pitch as he mentioned my name.
“Shut up Michael,” I said in a firm voice. I heard the others silent down to watch us. A circle of kids started to form as the anger in his eyes started to surface.
He clutched his fist and beamed them to the sides of his slender body.
“No one calls me Michael,” he steered as he poked a finger on my chest. “It’s Mike. Get it right dumbass.”
From behind, a few snickers filled in the silence. He smiled a devil as he turned his head to look at the crowd, as if pleased of what he just said.
“Are you stupid or just naturally like that?” I said in a small whisper.
“Look Louis. I do not want to fight you, but you are making this harder than it is,” Mike tighten his fist and licked his loose lips. “So shut the hell up.”
“Why don’t you? You’ll be doing all of us a favor.”
When I said those words that day, I felt like I’ve actually awaken. Like I have blossomed.
After that, the memory became hazy. I have not seen or talked to him after high school.
I do regret it though. I regret what I said to him. I regret becoming his friend. I regret what we have become.
That following night, I could not sleep. I felt a twist in my stomach and the lack of liquid.
I stood up in the dark and turned on the lamp next to me. The bright light it shined hurt my limp eyes. I closed my door lightly and looked ahead.
I felt hesitant before I could go any further.
I looked over to the left and then to the right. It was dead silent. I took a step as I heard the snores of some patients.
I finally found my way up to the cafeteria. I quickly searched for the switch and added the dime light.
My shaky hands thought for themselves as I made myself a cup of coffee. I added two sugars and two creams. I felt like I did not need the result of a high blood sugar tonight.
I brought myself down in a wooden chair as it moved alive. The noise below its legs rubbed bleakly against the pavements as I moved myself into it.
I brought my nose to the cup and smelled the aroma of the beverage. It punched me in the face as I left it there.
As I swallowed the hot liquid down my throat, my stomach continued to the flips it started.
I reached over at the counter top and grabbed the closet muffin. It was cold, but it will do. I started to nibble on it as I felt a rush of icy air run though my stiff body.
“Mind if I join you?”
I nearly jumped at the voice. I felt a shiver go up my spine as I slowly turned around.
“No,” I answered with out thinking before hand.
He sat down in the chair in front of me and placed his coffee mug on the table. He looked like he was in his forties.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked without looking at me. His voice was cracked. I thought he looked to young for some grey hairs.
I shrugged my shoulders and sipped once more. “Just parched.”
He nodded and looked down at his mug. “Haven’t seen you around before. Are you new around here?”
I shook my head, “Not quite.”
