Suspenders, Stripes and Pain Killers, Oh My

“Please help me,” she pleaded with her eyes almost shut closed.

“I will,” I answered hopelessly. I tried to reach over to her but she seemed a slip away.

The walls began to close on itself. It was pitched black and obscure like before. I couldn’t see anything, but the sound of her voice helped me with the action. The way the air punched me in the face made me quiver with fear. I felt like someone was looking over my small shoulders. I felt like I was being shoved.

“Please,” she whimpered again. “You are my only hope Louis.”

Her voice was a faint sound in my dull ears. I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it who’s it was.

I bobbed my head and reached again. I just couldn’t find her. I started to breathe more substantial and rigid. I couldn’t control myself. My head started to throb and legs felt like they were no longer attached to my body.

“Louis,” she last whispered.

“No!” I shrieked in my bed isolated. I felt like I’ve been awake all night.

I rubbed my eyes with an exhausted hand and looked around my familiar room. I gripped the clear glass next to my bed and sipped in the liquid into my system. As I looked down at my hand, I spotted an eyelash in my palm. I blew it off and sighed redundantly. As I placed my head back against the uneven pillow provided for me, a faint knock softly filled my room atmosphere with its thick noise.

“Come in,” I let out in a weak voice, enough for the nurse to hear. Amber, my nurse ever since I started attending here, gave me her familiar smile and motioned towards a dead eyed group. She silently asked for my approval as she placed a new glasses of water near my bedside table.

I looked over at them and slightly nodded. Amber waved them to come in and smiled at me one last time. I licked my forever chapped lips and forced a smile on it.

“Thank you,” I smiled at Amber as she placed a new set of blankets across my slender body.

“Buzz me if you need anything,” Amber pointed at the red button above me. I nodded slightly as she closed the door slowly, leaving me with my visitors.

They looked as if afraid to be near my presence. They looked practically afraid of being here alone.

I watched as their fuzzy figures moved closer to me with the same rhythm. With my faint ears, their voices leaped up to a conversation amongst each other. I couldn’t exactly put together what they were saying.

I dropped it and closed my eyes slowly. The little girl in my dream shot me alive again. It’s like I’ve seen her before.

They all hovered over me and watched me like I wasn’t aware of their action. I felt their shadows dance upon my face as I still had my eyes shut. They continued to talk among themselves as my eyes shot open sluggishly.

"What's the hold up lad?" they all muffled over me in a bundle. I felt like I was underwater. Suffocation at its finest. Why can't I fight it?

I hated it.

I can't stop it.

I wanted to die.

I looked at them with horror in my eyes. I can't hide it, I can't deny it. I spoke slowly as they waited an eternity.

"What would you all do if I died?" I felt an urge to break down. I mean, what else to do when you're in a position like me?

A million emotions swept to their faces. And at that second, I felt like I was.

“Louis,” Harry spoke up first in a tight whisper, “Don’t think that way. You can do this.”

My vision became blurry with the amount of tears coming down unexpectedly. I shook my head as my head fell down. I then caught sight of my arms. Wires and wires and wires.

“I did not want this,” I said though the sniffs. My eyes still plastered down, I felt like I was sinking. I felt like I disappointing them. I felt like I was ruining their lives with my own .

“Louis please listen,” Niall insisted this time using his soft Irish voice, “You will over come this. We believe in you. You just have to believe that you could as well.”

Zayn placed a pale tissue box in front of my steady hands and pursed his leaden lips. He sighed slightly and added faintly, “Take it. It’ll do you good.”

I did what I was told without a second thought to it. I brought a lenient tissue to my dime eyes and nose and blew into it later so. I felt a rush of anxiety spill on to me as they watched me with their sturdy eyes.

“We brought you a basket,” Liam’s voice was faint as he walked out to retrieve the gift. He then walked back in with what he just mentioned.

“It is filled with all your favorite treats,” Liam beamed with it in hold. I couldn’t help but smile with my stressed face.

“Thank you,” I half smiled and reached for it. They all smiled as they saw one surface on my own. A light twinkled in my eye as they let out a sigh, as if relieved.

“You didn’t have to this for me,” I said in a shaky voice. It was more of a whisper towards myself then them.

I didn’t like the thought that they babied me. I hated the fact that everyone underestimates my instincts. I hated it when people think I can’t do things on my own.

“It’s the least we can do Lou,” Harry shrugged his lumped shoulders and sighed faintly. He forced a smile on his perky face, but deep down, him and I knew it was fake and lifeless.

I nodded and stayed still. What else are we suppose to do? Act like everything is all peachy? Like nothing is happening?

“We better get going lads,” Liam finally spoke again with what felt like eternity. He had the same forced smile on comparable to Harry’s last one.

Niall nodded and added, “It’s getting late.”

I nodded and brought my head back against the bedframe along my back.

“Feel better,” they last whispered in the thin air. Once they left, I faintly nodded and fought back the tears building up in my eyes.

I reached over and pressed the red button above me. My breath was shaky and I felt hazy, but I still went on and used my left over strength.

“Amber?” I asked softly and paused for a second. I sighed vaguely and continued, “May I have some pain killers?”