Look for You

Two weeks had gone by since meeting with Simon in London. Not much had really happened. The boys were looking for a flat for us all and I was dealing with the YouTube channel and plans on how I was going to tell Isabella. I knew by waiting this long it would make it harder, she would probably be upset with me, but I couldn’t help it. I was a spontaneous person, but when it came to really big and really important things, I took my time. I needed this to be perfect; I needed her to come with me.

Niall had already told Jimmie and she would constantly nag on me to tell Issy. Jimmie had made it clear to Niall that if Isabella said she wasn’t going, Jimmie would stay behind as well, but it didn’t mean the relationship was over. They would still be together, they’d work through it. I was hoping Isabella had the same outlook on the idea.

I had made plans with Issy for tonight, a nice quiet dinner at her house. Fae would be with Jimmie and the guys at our house watching movies. It was the perfect time to talk to her, the perfect moment to break it all, to figure out what we could do.

I dressed in a blazer, black trousers and a white shirt. When I finished and Jimmie showed up at the house, I drove Louis' car to pick up my order from the Italian restaurant Issy liked and drove over to her house.

When I got there, she was setting candles on the coffee table in the living room. She had Love Actually in the DVD player and pillows on the floor in front of two plates. I smiled and kissed her forehead lightly. “This looks amazing.” I ran my hands over her dress, admiring the swallows as I took in her sweet fruity floral scent. She kissed my cheek lightly and rubbed the spot with her thumb, it seemed she was wearing a peachy lipstick. She looked incredible.

We got the food on the plates and sat down to watch the movie. She curled up against my side when she finished eating and nuzzled her head against my neck. When the movie finished, she kissed my neck lightly, it sent shivers up my spine. I knew what she wanted and what I wanted, but I knew the right thing to do was to talk to her about the deal. "Babe, babe I can't." I moved back slightly and looked her in the eyes.

"Why not, it's not like you are on your period, nothing to stop you." She smiled playfully and leaned in to kiss me on the lips. "You're Harry; you never turn down a fun time." She sighed as I pulled away again.

"We need to talk, it's important." She gave me a funny look. "Remember when we were in London and I said Simon wanted to sign us?" She nodded. "There's a catch."

"Just get to it, Curly." She was growing restless.

I sat Indian style on the pillow in front of her, "I have to move to London, all of us guys do." Issy looked at the ground and bit her tongue behind closed lips. I watched her, unsure of what else to say. She blinked a few times then stood up.

"Well, I hope you have a lovely time in London."

I looked at her confused, "I want you to come with me, if you don't then I don't want to go." And it was true, I couldn't go without her, she was my everything.

"I'm not going all the way to London with you. I can't, we've been dating for a few months, which is not enough time for me to move across an entire ocean." She picked up the plates and walked them to the kitchen. I followed, carrying the cups and takeout container.

"Then I am not signing the contract."

"Don't you dare pass up this once in a life time offer for me. You are going Harry, I bet the guys are counting on you. One Direction was something you guys started together, they can't do it without you." She took the stuff from me and started washing the dishes. "You go."

"I will visit every chance I get and call, email, video chat all the time." I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Don't."

I let go of her, "Sorry, you usually like...."

"No, don't call, message or visit me, Harry." I went to question her, to change her mind, but she started talking again. "You said you wouldn't leave Fae and I."

"We can handle this, I am only leaving for a little time. We can do this. I fought for you, Bells. You...I'm not leaving you, I am working on my career, with this, I can support us for the rest of our lives, babe."

"No, Harry. We can't handle this. This is nothing." She grabbed my blazer and handed it to me. "Listen, just go. I think this is best, we wouldn't have gone far anyway."

I felt my heart breaking. What was this, what was she saying? Were these the actual words being said, was I hearing right? My eyes burned as my vision blurred. "What are you talking about?" This was insane. She wasn't making sense. I loved her, she loved me too...right?

"I'm using you. I just love the idea of being wanted, of being loved. I don't want to marry you or continue this relationship. I can't keep lying."

The tears started streaming. "No...you can't be serious. You met my mother, you stayed in my room and travelled with me. You have been sleeping with me, I can't believe you, we love each other. I can feel the bond between us." But her eyes were dry and her face straight. Nothing hinted that I was right. She seemed unfazed by my babble, by my tears. "Don't you lie to me, Isabella." I stepped closer to her, she backed away and leaned against the counter, I pressed myself against her, my heart pounding. "Don't do this, we don't have to break up."

She looked me straight in the eyes. "Yes, we do. This isn't right." She tried to push me away, but I refused to budge. "Don't you get it? I don't love you, Harry Edward Styles. I never loved you. I wanted to feel loved, at first I didn't want you to bother me, but I felt that if I let you in, we can both win. I never thought you would take this relationship that seriously. I care only for my child and this is confusing her, she thinks you are someone important in our lives and you're not. Please, get off me and get out."

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. She never loved me? I was a toy, she was using me as a toy. I was like a doll, like one of Faelyn's dolls. I backed away and turned toward the door, dragging my blazer behind me. Baby came waddling up, her soft meow catching my attention. I picked up the cat and stroked the fur between her ears. She purred and let out another meow. I looked back at Isabella, the girl who shattered my heart and sighed. "I'm sorry." I said, placing the cat on the floor. "I'm sorry I couldn't win your heart and change your mind. I thought...we were different. I thought maybe I fixed that hole in your heart that Fae's father left, but I guess I didn't. I guess I failed at doing all that I ever wanted. I'm sorry, Issy, I wish you could feel differently." The words spewed out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I will always love you, I will always keep a place in my heart for you. I will never forget you or Fae. Tell her I love her and I will see her soon." I walked out the door and shut it quietly.

When I got to the car, I put the key in, buckled up and drove down the street. When I knew I was out of Issy's sight, far enough away from the house, I pulled over. Turning the car off I sat and stared at the dark street. Before I knew what was happening, screams came out of my mouth, screams and sobbing. I broke down completely, hitting the steering wheel and cursing loudly. My throat burned as I tried to control the tears. No matter how hard I tried, the tears fell anyway. My chest ached. I couldn't breathe. It took a lot of time, but I finally felt as though I ran out of tears. I just sat in the dark, quiet car on the houseless, lightless street and tried to collect myself. When I managed to contain my emotions, I drove home, signed the contract and packed for London.