Can We Stay Lost On Our Way Home?

When I woke up in the morning with a pounding in my head I knew I had went out again with Hambone to his… girlfriend’s… ex’s party? I wasn’t sure and I didn’t really remember or care anyway. It was all free alcohol and a good time until you’re welcomed with your good friend “Hangover.”

Once I had seen the beige walls added with an earthy hue I knew I crashed at Mikey’s. Of course I didn’t remember that either; however, I was grateful for him for taking me in every time I seemed to show up. I don’t remember how many times exactly I had spent the night, and I was starting to wonder what I did last night; probably some stupid shit most likely.

“So how was last night?” Mikey’s voice filled my ears as he sat down beside me in his living room.

Mikey’s a nice guy, he wasn’t all like me though; he’d occasionally drink some booze but he’d never smoke or go out. Whenever I didn’t have anyone to smoke with I would always ask Mikey- well, if doing a terrible job in pressuring him to, of course he would never buy it so I had to wait until someone was available.

“Honestly, I’m pretty sure I kickass time… I can faintly remember it.” I laughed lightly.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, “That’s the same answer you give me every time I ask you about it, cause you know I’m not into shit like that.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes, “I still don’t understand how you can’t go out and have some fun, you know? How can you just not do anything with your life?”

He scoffed, amused. “I find other things to do.”

Those words were the same words his brother would say, and it irked me to hear them. I once asked Gerard that same question and had told me, “’No matter how much booze and weed one can consume, it’ll never amount to the high of doing what you love.”

The sappy words sunk into me and made me so irritated, I didn’t care about those things because they meant nothing to me. I didn’t see the point in “doing what you love.” I’ve tried those things when I was younger and it still didn’t come off as good as you feel when you’re high or drunk.

I stared blankly at Mikey and just shrugged deciding not to take the conversation any further until I mumbled, “You sound like your brother.” I emphasized ‘brother’ making it come off as edgy.

I knew Mikey hated it when I talked about his brother in a shitty way, but it was kind of amusing to be honest.

“Please don’t fucking start, Frank.” Mikey strongly told me, shooting me an icy glare, “Gerard has never done anything to you.”

I laughed, “Yeah, he has.”

Mikey raised an eyebrow, looking at me closely, “Oh yeah? Then what the fuck did he do?” I knew he was testing me.

“He’s ruined my life.” I stated flatly, shifting my weight off the couch. Mikey’s face became expressionless, those hazel eyes boring into me.

“When will you ever learn that everything wasn’t his fault? It was your fault and you know that, Frank. It has nothing to do with Gerard. I’m tired of you blaming him for your failures because it wasn’t his fault. Goddammit-“ he paused and took a deep breath.

“You’re just so small-minded. Hambone’s done a nice job of taking care of you.” He rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripped from his tone as he spoke.

Just as I was about to respond, Gerard walked into the room wearing his usual fitted jeans and leather jacket; holding some sort of writing utensil in his hand and a notebook of some sort- whatever you call those.

He walked around us, not paying any interest in our presence and sat down on the arm-chair in the corner next to the lamp where he began to study- somewhere in space.

I smirk made its way across my face, “Hey Gerard.”

Mikey shot me a warning glare; clearly telling me to fuck off, but I didn’t. I just continued to stare my way to the man across from me.

He shook out his trance and looked at me, “Um, hey Frank.” He looked up quickly and started to sketch something on his pad. Me, being a nosey fuck, decided to join him.

I got up off the couch and made my way over to his side where I looked down to look at what he was doing. It looked like to be a human’s head; but the outline was there first; it was lightly organized by his pencil where a straight line went across downward from its forehead to its chin as if it was split in half and another was from the head’s cheek, to its other cheek.

He stopped doing what he was doing and looked up at me hesitantly, obviously taking notice of the smirk plastered on my face.

“Um…” he looked up at me and bit his lip, waiting for me to say something,
“can I help you?”

“What’cha drawing there?” False interest filling my voice, his face was clearly not surprise by my behavior, but he just sighed and continued his actions; sketching out whatever the fuck he was sketching.

I became irritated then.

He wasn’t fucking answering me; everyone knew that I needed answers when I asked them a question. Like Hambone, he was shit scared the first time he ignored a question and I simply demanded it from him harshly.

I hated being ignored; whenever I talked to someone I was expecting a response from them otherwise I’d verbally abuse them… just a little. It didn’t matter what it was about, I needed a fucking response.

Gerard was different through, it was worse enough that I hated him and he was clearly asking for a deathwish. He didn’t seem at all fazed by the glare I held on him.

Unexpectedly, I slammed my fist down onto his work; making it crumple and smudge messily onto exposed parts of the paper. The loose pieces of paper hiding in the notebook littered the floor and into a mess on the ground; his pencil dropped along with it.

He stood frozen, obviously surprised by my sudden action, his eyes were slightly wide, but didn’t look into mine as he was staring down.

“Frank, get out.” Mikey suddenly leapt off the couch and was standing in front of me; trying to intimidate me I suppose.

I simply smiled up at him and shook my head, “I’m fine, Mikes maybe-“
I was cut off by Mikey, clearly fed up with my attitude. “Get the fuck out of here now!” He pointed to the door; his eyebrows furrowed and his nostrils slightly flaring.

Damn, and I was just beginning to have some fun.

“Alright.” I shrugged, but before leaving I looked to Gerard again as he began to pick up the scattered mess on the ground. I didn’t care if it was important or not it was just scratches of paper, and by some that I could see just looked like scribbles while some looked like blotches of colors.

“Now that’s art,” I winked at Gerard, chuckling, but he just continued to clean up the mess.

“See you later!” I exclaimed happily as I made my way towards the door and stepped outside.

I continued to walk down the brick path until I burst out laughing in hysterics.