Reckless

Louisa.

“What is that boy doing?”

“He looks like an idiot.” I laughed, looking at the scene playing out on the street. Walking practically into traffic was a boy, whose face looked like it hadn’t been properly shaven since time began, waving his hands into traffic as if he had a death wish. Meredith was practically cringing at the sight.

Suddenly, he nearly jumped in front of the cab. It was the first time I got a good look at him: he was actually good looking, in a dirty hipster kind of way. My mother let out a slight groan as our cab stopped.

He rolled down the window. “Look buddy, I’ve already got two people in this cab headed west-”

“Fantastic mate, I’m headed that way as well.” The boy said. I paused for a second at the sound of his accent. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the least bit attractive. Though the whole idea of “british charm” seemed to be lost on this one.

“Suit yourself.” The cabbie shrugged as the boy moved over to my side to get in.

Meredith looked over at me as if she expected me to get out of the cab and push this kid into the next oncoming bus. But before she could protest, he was inside, making me slide over to the middle. As far as my mother, this was too close for comfort.

I turned slightly, trying to look at this boy out of the corner of my eye. He had the cheekiest smile on his face, as if he’d just seen my underwear. Which, he hadn’t, I was looking down at my dress right now just to make sure.

“Louisa dear, I do like that necklace though.” Meredith smiled, moving to me so she could grasp it in her hands. “Where did you get that again?”

I looked down at the small gem in her hands, sighing. “I’m pretty sure you got it for me, actually.”

“Oh, now I remember!” I was ninety-nine percent sure she had always remembered. “But it would have really shined had you wore your hair up today. If you can even get it up anymore- I still wish you’d kept it long, Louisa.”

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn’t want her to see it. I was one-hundred percent sure it was Meredith who told me I should cut my hair.

Suddenly I heard a cough from the other side of me, and I remembered the boy was there. And he still had a cheeky smile on his lips.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“Louisa!”

“It’s not rude!” I defended myself, turning back to Meredith. “He’s been smiling this entire ride and I’m wondering why.”

The boy laughed, turning towards me with his blue eyes. “Well, I’m realizing I probably looked like an idiot trying to get into this cab, and now I’m just laughing out of bloody awkwardness.”

Meredith was clearly not amused.

“You nearly killed yourself.” I laughed. “You must really need a cab.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Well, my band mates didn’t wake me up, so I’m a bit grumpy about that. And I’m already five minutes late to be in the studio?”

“You’re in a band?” Meredith asked, her eyes still glued to the window behind her sunglasses. She clearly didn’t care, she just wanted to hear her own voice.

He smiled. “Yeah, we’re here just makin’ an album.”

I nodded, looking at him. There were so many things I wanted to ask, that I was thinking in my head. But I could tell my mom was growing annoyed with me and I didn’t feel like hearing about it later. So I sat for a moment in my apparently out of season floral dress and brushed back my short hair with my hand, and tried to act the way I was supposed to.

“I’m Josh, by the way.” He wasn’t about to make this easy.

I smiled. “Louisa. And this is my mother, Meredith.”

Josh nodded, smiling his cheeky little smile like he had a dirty secret. I actually really liked his voice, and he did have quite a bit of charm for a rough Brit. And then again I was left wanting to talk but not being able to.

“Excuse me mate, this is my stop.” Josh said, tapping the driver on the shoulder as he pulled over to the curb. “Thanks for the ride. And it was nice to meet you, Louisa.”

“Nice to meet you-”

“We’re going to be late!” Meredith chimed. And then we were off. I sighed, turning to my mother and shaking my head slightly.

“You can be so rude.”

She laughed. “And you tend to slouch a little, but I don’t say anything.”

I gawked at her. I loved my mom, she was all I really had anymore, but sometimes she made me want to throw myself into traffic. The school bus driving by us looked inviting.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that people like that, all dirty and free and you have no idea where they’ve been, are just not people we should be spending time on.” Meredith shrugged, turning to me.

“He seemed nice, I don’t know where the fuck-”

“Language.”

I sighed. There was no winning with her. And as much as I hated to admit it, she was right. People like Josh and people like me wouldn’t mesh well: this was my world, and he apparently didn’t fit in to my mother. I had lived in this bubble my entire life, it was all I knew, and I was safe here. There was no reason to break it.

“Is that yours?” Meredith asked, pointing to the small brown notebook beside me.

I turned, looking down at it and taking it in my hands. I was pretty sure Josh had come into the cab with this in his hand.

“Is it?”

I turned to my mother. “Um, yes. Sorry. I must have walked out with it.”

“Louisa, you really have to stop with those doodles. Whenever I see you, you’ve got your head in one of those notebooks and there are so many better things you could be doing.” My mother rolled her eyes and nodded, turning back to the window. I switched to the side and peeled my finger over it, just making sure this wasn’t something deathly important.

It looked like poems.

“This is the restaurant.” Meredith announced as the cab pulled over to the curb. Slowly she got out the side as I went out the other, going to the cabbie’s window.

“Excuse me, sir? Are you headed back down the strip?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I’m headed west for the rest of today. Something the matter?”

I bit my lip, gripping the notebook in my hands. “It’s just…” I paused, sliding it behind my back. “Never mind, I’ll take care of it. Thank you.”

“LOUISA.”

I rolled my eyes and walked to the curb to meet Meredith, sliding the notebook in my purse. I would give it back to Josh later, when I had the chance. I supposed it was very important to him, and he probably needed it back right away.

But I couldn’t let Meredith know, she’d want to burn the thing at a stake. So I just sat down at our table, opened my menu, smiled politely, and acted properly for the rest of the afternoon. I did as I was supposed to do.

That’s how it worked, always.