The Tulip Field

I lay on my back in the dirt and try to collect as many leaves as I can to arrange them in a blanket-like fashion. A sudden breeze comes by and in the dark I see all the little huddled bodies around me shiver in a wave. It also blows away the lower part of my "blanket". I try to rebuild it only to have the same thing happen with in five seconds and I give up. Deciding it's not worth the effort and try to go to sleep, but I can't; at least not on this day. My mind keeps running and I try to focus them on the stars in the sky, the formation of the leaves, anything to keep my mind off today and its meaning. Another breeze comes through and this time I shiver with the rest of the kids. When I start to rethink constructing my blanket I hear someone sneeze. Once, twice, three times. By the time whoever it is hits eight I'm already up and scanning the rows and rows of kids for the sound and that's when I see him.

He's still there, leaning up against the house with his arms wrapped around his legs and face buried in his knees. He'd only look up whenever he had to sneeze and I could see every shiver rake through his thin body. I don't know what it is, maybe it's how frail and defenseless he looks, but I get up and weave my way through the kids on all fours and only duck down when I hear any strange sounds. He doesn't see me coming and he jumps when I suddenly appear by his side, leaning up against the house.

"What are you doing!? Are you trying to end up like me!" he snaps in a raspy whisper between sneezes and I count them.

Nine. Ten.

"You’re sick," I say, ignoring him.

Eleven.

"So what if I am? Why do you even care?" He says it with such anger that I have to flinch.

Twelve. Thirteen.

His shaggy blonde hair covers his eyes and I move it away to see them red, irritated, and watering. Immediately I wipe away a drop that falls from his eye and he flinches at the contact.

"Because," I say "I think we all should help each other out here."

He squints at me.

"Well that's just damn well heart warming, but it doesn't fix anything. Look, I'm grateful for the food and whatever but your going to get yourself killed. Now just go back to your spot and leave me the hell alone,"

Fourteen. Fifteenth. Sixteen.

I don't move and just sit there studying him. He reminds me of someone but I can't pinpoint who.

"You might die tonight if you don't let me help you," I say flatly, deciding all that tactfulness and beating around the bush crap my tutors taught me was pointless with him.

"So what, it would be merciful if I died," his tone softens as he looks away from me and starts to stare at his feet.

Seventeen. Eighteen.

"What about your brother?"

The minute I mention his brother I see his eyes widen, but only for a second before they return to the sad look they had earlier. He doesn't say anything and I know I've won.

"What's your name?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

He says it so softly the first time I have to ask him to repeat it.

"Collin,"

Nineteen.

"I'm Du-" I catch myself before saying my full title and try to force out just my first name "I mean, I'm Jacqueline," My name by its self alone feels weird on my tongue, but I kind of like it.

"Well, Jackie, how were you going to help me?"

That nickname, that's all it took. I didn't realize how easy I was to break, but just like that he pushed the one button that would make me just completely fall apart. I'm lucky another breeze blows by other wise I would have had no excuse for wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. I feel him tense up and I know he's probably staring at me like I'm crazy.

"Uh, Jackie...What are you doing?" he asks confused and kind of freaked out.

"Keeping you warm so you don't die," my voice catches and the tears start to flow as I remember those last words.

"Come on, if you go I promise I'll get you something even better for your next birthday," for my next...

"What the hell? What’s wrong?"

I can tell what I'm doing is working 'cause he stops sneezing and he grabs me by the shoulders so that I look at him and I'm sure I look like a mess. It takes me a minute before I can form the sentence and eventually I just spit it out.

"It's my birthday...,"

He doesn't get it.

"Okay and...?"

My throat goes hard and I can't form anymore words so I look him straight in the eye and try to send a message with them. It takes him a minute, but he gets it.

"Oh...It's your first birthday,"

I nod slightly. He lets my shoulders go and I return to his chest, trying to make my sobs as mute as possible.

I've figured out who he reminds me of. Granted his eyes are a bright blue and not grey and he's a little more hostile than he was, but Nickolas was the same way when I first met him too. And Collin's not completely heartless I learn. Because the whole night he keeps his hand on my head and places the other on the small of my back keeping me close. If I wasn't a complete mess that night I would've said he needed me more than I did him, but I know that's a lie.