Taking Chances

“What…?” He took a deep breath and stared at me, his dark brown eyes seeming to bore holes into me. “What the fuck makes you think that I’d like you more if you were like Charlie?!”

I swallowed and continued to struggle against crying. “Because I see the way you act around her, Zayn. Just look at the way you two interact!”

His mouth dropped open. “Charlie and I are friends, Bailey. FRIENDS.”

“Okay, you keep telling yourself that,” I shot back. “But let’s look at things from my point of view? Okay? Here we go.” I realized that my voice had started to take on a mocking tone, but I was too pissed to care. “When she was upset about her Twitter bullying, who did she run to, Zayn? WHO DID SHE RUN TO? That’s right, YOU. Not her boyfriend, not her boyfriend’s best friend. YOU. How does that make any fucking sense?”

“She was hurt, Bailey!”

“Then she should have sought comfort from HARRY.” The tears were pouring down my face by then, but I was happy to hear that it didn’t affect my voice when I was shouting. “Not you, Zayn. You’re my boyfriend. But this isn’t just about her. This is about you, too.”

“What did I do?” His features were starting to go from hurt to angry, and I knew that it wasn’t going to be long before he started fighting back.

“When she came to get some comfort from you, you were all, ‘Oh, Charlie, you’re so skinny’,” I put on a high-pitched voice, mocking him ridiculously. “But my favorite part? You called her the most intelligent girl you’d ever met. That’s fucking bullshit, Zayn!”

“What are you talking about?! I was making her feel better, Bailey! Haven’t you ever heard of that?”

“Why did you have to go to extremes?!” I screamed, a sob being stifled in my chest by my intensity. “Because I’ll have you know that I’m extremely fucking intelligent. Emerson isn’t a school that will accept just anyone, you know! It’s A GREAT SCHOOL. I got straight A’s throughout my high school career, even in math, which I fucking hate. And guess what? You know how Charlie can speak English and Spanish fluently? SO CAN I.”

“When I said that to Charlie, I wasn’t calling you dumb!”

“THAT’S HOW IT MADE ME FEEL.” I was crying fully, my breath getting jagged and making it hard to argue. “Like, oh, Bailey? She’s not so great. Who is she again? Charlie, you're so perfect in every way.”

“Stop it. You’re being dramatic.”

“DRAMATIC?” I gritted my teeth for a second and swallowed. “Let’s look at some more examples, shall we? How many times have you called her beautiful, Zayn? I bet just as many times as you’ve said it to me.”

“I didn’t know it was a crime to call a friend pretty!”

“It is when it’s excessive, asshole. And when she came in here, suggesting a party, you should have seen your eyes light up. I know that I hold you back from a lot of things, and I know that you hate that I’m so low-key. That I’m such a goody-two-shoes. And I never, ever would have gone to that party if I hadn’t seen how excited the prospect made you.”

“Bailey-”

I cut him off, not wanting him to ruin my streak. “And then I show up after Hanny and Charlie have made me into an entirely different person. I didn’t even look like me. Not even like some glamorous version of me. And you loved it. You looked like you just wanted to bang me against the wall right there. You never look at me like that when I’m dressed like myself, with my natural makeup, with my curly hair. It’s like you want some dolled-up, fake version of me instead of me.”

Zayn’s eyes started getting misty, and I could almost see the anger drain out of him. “No, Bailey…”

“AND THEN,” I continued, crying like crazy, “we get to the club, and what do you do?! FUCKING GRIND WITH HER DURING A SONG. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I’m your girlfriend, no matter how much that angers you. And rule number one of girlfriends is that you do not grind with other girls in front of them.”

“We were just fooling around.”

“Fooling around?! Awesome word choice, Zayn. I’ve really never heard better.”

He sighed and ran a hand though his hair. “I don’t know what to say. I just…I figured that you were upset because of how far we went last night. I had no idea that you were bottling up all of this hatred toward Charlie.”

I wiped away some of my tears, thankful that I hadn’t put on any makeup yet. “I don’t have hatred towards Charlie,” I tried to convince him. “I just…hate the way she acts around you. You keep saying that you're friends, that you’re close, but how does it look to me?”

“Like I’m cheating on you. Or that I want to.”

“Exactly.”

There was a long silence. “I’m sorry that I said Charlie was smarter than you.”

That made me explode. “THAT IS NOT THE WHOLE PROBLEM, YOU ASSHOLE.”

“Um…hello?” a small voice asked from the doorway.

I turned to find Rebecca standing her, her rolling suitcase in her hand. Her dark brown hair was put into an adorable, curly side ponytail, and she looked just as I remembered in her flowy floral shirt and light-washed jeans. She looked so frightened about what she'd just walked into.

“Hi, Rebecca,” I greeted, pulling up the sleeve of my shirt and wiping my eyes. “Hold on, let me help you with your suitcase.”

“No, that’s okay,” she insisted, turning to keep it away from me. Her eyes went to Zayn, to me, and back again. “Do you want me to…go away?”

“No. We’re done.”

Zayn took my words as a dismissal and stormed into his room, slamming the door so hard behind him that I checked quickly to make sure it hadn’t cracked.

Once Rebecca put her suitcase by the couch, I sniffled and wiped my eyes again. “Want to go out for breakfast?”

“Um…are you sure you want to?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. There’s nothing I need more right now than my best friend.” I reached over and grabbed her arm, urging her to follow me. “Come on. It’s girl time.”