Obedience

Toni watched Loki as he slept, just as she had done when they had first been brought to his room, but this time she was even more confused.

When they'd begun sewing Loki's mouth shut, she hadn't understood why she had fought to stay in the throne room instead of letting the guards lead her somewhere else, somewhere decidedly less violent and cruel. What completely baffled her was why she started screaming even when Loki himself was silent, taking his punishment without a sound or movement as Toni struggled against the guards' hold.

She had yanked herself free after they were finished and ran, falling to her knees next to him, reaching to touch him but holding herself back at the same time, and she didn't understand her own reaction, why she had felt pain for someone she barely knew and actually hated. Or thought she hated; she at least knew now that she didn't hate him, couldn't have if she reacted that way (even though she wasn't sure what that reaction was in the first place; it was too extreme to simply be compassion).

When she'd been lead to Loki's room behind the guards carrying his unconscious form, she silently watched the blood drip across his face and throat, itching to make it stop. Once Loki was laid down, she was informed that the spare bed was hers and that she was to stay with him for the duration of her visit. Thor, who had followed them, opened his mouth to say something, but Toni gave him the nastiest glare she had ever given, probably ever would give, and he remained silent, turning on his heel and walking out of the room, doors closing behind him.

Toni had looked at Loki, momentarily lost, not knowing what to do, then she'd spotted the water bowl and rag; putting it next to the nightstand, she'd soaked the cloth and rung it out, gently cleaning Loki's face and throat, tears falling from her eyes. She didn't even know when she'd started crying, but it had to have been back in the throne room judging by how dry her eyes felt.

Once finished, Toni had just stared at Loki, trying to sort her feelings and calm down when he woke up.

His behavior was confusing; he seemed so different to her, more childlike as he stared at her, as he wordlessly asked her to stay with him. She had planned to get some sleep, but when he grabbed her hand and almost instantly fell asleep, Toni was astonished by the trust he'd put in her. She wasn't stupid, she could see that he had deep-set trust issues; it was obvious since she had her own trust issues, though she was glad she didn't have daddy issues the way he did.

Looking at him now, sleeping peacefully, she thought he looked innocent, more innocent than he should be allowed, even with the stitches holding his mouth shut.

Toni glared harshly again, focusing on the string as if it had personally offended her. She wanted to cut it, get rid of it, throw it away, but she knew it would be difficult and would cause him a lot of pain, not to mention the fact that they would just sew his mouth closed again.

The longer she looked at him, the more the image of him smiling (or trying to smile, Toni scowled) stuck in the front of her mind. She couldn't get away from it, she thought about what it would be like to see him smile, really smile, without cruelty or stitches, and she wondered what it would take to make him smile in happiness as she traced the curve of his mouth lightly, careful not to disturb the healing wounds.