To Be Broken

"Guys. Please, can I just prep you for like five minutes?"

"I don't know Matt, Alex usually doesn't last that long."

Matt ran his hands through his hair, ready to pull it out of his skull. Alex reached over, hitting Jack on the head over Ryan and Zack's bodies. Soon enough a small fight was breaking out on the couch in front of Matt. It was no use. He'd lost control the minute he said the word "please".

"Come on." Rian said, pushing Jack and Alex apart and point up at their tour manager. "Matt, talk."

A sigh of relief ran over him as he nodded quickly, knowing his time was very limited. "Alright. So I'm about to bring in your interviewer, and let me just remind you what a big deal this is. This is the big announcement. Her questions should reflect your key points, which I hope you remember. Let's go over them."

"Matt, can I use the bathroom?" Jack asked, raising his hand.

"No," Matt said quickly, "Give me a key point."

Jack sighed. "We're in the recording process now and hope to release in the fall-"

"We should probably tell them that is a new album before we give out release dates."

"Fuck you, I was getting to that."

And within a matter of seconds, Jack and Alex were back to reaching over the couch and trying to wrestle each other. Matt sighed, running his hand down his face and resting them on his hips. It had been like this for as long as he'd worked for them, but lately, it was just getting ridiculous. But as much as they were all causing issues, Matt could pinpoint one huge one.

Alex looked up. "What is his name?"

"Her." Matt corrected. "And Claire... Hole."

A laugh escaped Alex's lips as Matt stared him down. Jack followed suit, influenced by Alex in a way that made Matt's skin crawl.

"What?" Alex asked as Matt's death stare increased.

"You know what." Matt said quickly. "No jokes about her last name, or her parents, or where she came from. Today is not the day. Today is about the album."

He shrugged. "No promises."

And that was the problem. Alex's moods, his constant throw over of authority, and his general attitude towards things he didn't want to do. It wasn't always like this. But at the start of the new year, it seemed like there had been a new Alex. Now into the spring, it'd only gotten worse. Alex partied most nights, got to practices late, and was almost never prepared. Matt wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't even sure he knew who Alex was anymore.

Even worse, he could sense it was causing tension for the band. Jack followed in Alex's lead, like always, so that only made matters worse. Rian and Zack were just growing annoyed. Matt couldn't shake the feeling that things were slowly falling apart and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"You're a babe."

Lila smiled as she slid into the passenger seat of my car, coffees in her hands. "Today is a big day."

It was true. Claire knew that better than anyone, today was a big day. For more reasons than Lila knew or Claire would dare to tell her. As she gripped the steering wheel now, flying in and out of Lila's conversation while they drove to the studio, the nerves were settling in. There was a lot more riding on today than just the survival of her magazine.

Claire shook her head quickly. There shouldn't be. This was business, and that was all it should be.

Alex probably wouldn't remember her anyway, she told herself. But deep down, that thought was poisonous. Claire did want him to remember her. She wanted that more than a lot of things at the moment.

"Your mom called earlier."

"Oh." Claire said quickly. "What did she say?"

Lila could feel the tenseness in her friend's voice. "She was just checking in. Rambled on for a little while, but I think she misses you."

Claire nodded, biting her lip and turning into the parking lot of the studio. She was happy they'd arrived: this was not a conversation she ever wanted to have. Lila knew that. But she also knew that it was important and it was something Claire needed to hear. As much as she convinced herself she didn't, Lila was right.

But Claire usually won the battle. In her mind, there wasn't any battle to begin with.

The entire last few weeks, Claire had also convinced herself that she wasn't nervous for what was about to happen. Which is why as her feet hit the pavement the rush of nerves that followed left an unsettling feeling in her stomach. Lila seemed fine as she walked around and pulled the camera bag out of the trunk, a smile on her lips. She patted her friend on the back, giving a squeeze to her shoulder.

"Ready?"

Claire didn't answer. Instead she nodded to herself and walked ahead of Lila into the building. Once inside, her eyes darted to a man with spiky black hair and an annoyed look on his face leaning against a counter beside an elevator. A funny feeling filled Claire: knowing someone who had no idea who she was. Soon enough.

Slowly she walked over. "Hi, you're Matt?"

His eyes lit up, like she'd broken an unhappy chain of thought. "And you're Claire! Good, I just finished prepping the guys."

Claire smiled. She wasn't exactly sure how this was about to go down. Even Lila didn't know what'd happened on New Years. And maybe, Alex didn't either. That might be the best scenario. Or maybe not.

Alex stared straight ahead with a soft smirk on his lips as Jack responded to some tweets beside him. He had the weirdest aching feeling inside his chest. Half of him felt good about himself: hell, he was on the top of his game, the band was going great, and he was a single man. In many ways, he felt confident and unstoppable. But there was another voice inside his head that told him that either wasn't true or wasn't right.

Maybe he was waiting for all that to come crashing down. The asshole facade. Or maybe he was an asshole.

A soft laugh left his lips at the thought. He was an asshole. He was okay with that, he told himself. But that ache may have just been his heart telling him that it wasn't okay.

As the elevator door dinged, Alex let out a sigh of relief. He hated being lost in his thoughts, that's when he felt least confident. Sweet redemption would come in the form of his interview, he was sure.

"Hey guys," Matt said, walking out first, "so this is Claire and Lila."

Alex looked behind his tour manager. Suddenly sweet redemption was turning into a smile on his lips. This was unexpected.

As soon as their eyes locked, both of them knew. Claire looked like she was about to run away, and Alex looked like a kid in a candy store.

Matt gave Alex a face. "You okay?"

"Oh, I'm just fine. I just had a bit of a flashback."