Pieces of Me
Piece Two
Toshiya sat there on the leather seat of his car, the hum of the engine his only company. His forehead against the steering wheel, eyes closed, fists clenching the wheel. Tears had caught in his hair, lips forming a heartbreaking frown. Toshiya was a man known for his smile—but now he had nothing to smile about. A whimper escaped his lips as the bassist leaned back in his seat, head resting against the headrest as his hands covered his face with a sniffle.
Sniffing back through his tears, Toshiya let his fingers slide down his face until his hands fell in his lap. Deep umber orbs opened to stare at the ceiling before he shook his head, gaze falling back on her seat. The bassist swallowed before he gently took the small book in his hands, fingertips lightly tracing the lining of the cover. A tiny smile crept to his lips as he remembered the day he had given her the book.
“Aw, Toshi! But you know I can’t write!”
Toshiya chuckled, “Not even if it’s for me?”
A tiny smile lingered on her lips as she looked down to the book, tracing the cover with her fingertips.
The bassist stared at it a moment longer, feeling a river of emotions in the pit of his stomach about ready to burst. Toshiya turned the cover, the first two sheets blank until he finally found a page she had written on. His index finger traced her handwriting as he frowned once more. Toshiya began to read what she had written.
Toshiya,
You gave me this book and asked me to fill the pages. Even while knowing I couldn’t write, you insisted. So, here I have decided to write all the things I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud to anyone. I don’t think you will read this, I probably won’t let you. My thought is that if you ever do read it, it will most likely because you done so while I was asleep or found it while I was at work. Even still, know that while I may act mad, I could never stay angry when you smile that goofball smile of yours.
Toshiya couldn’t stop the slight chuckle that built in his chest when he read that line. Reading her words like this, it was like she was really talking to him. It pained Toshiya’s heart that he was not reading this because he found her book while she was sleeping or at work; but because she was in the hospital terribly injured.
From the time I’ve met you, you seemed like such a lady’s man. You were always bouncing around and smiling. You were constantly flirting and teasing with everyone. At first, I thought you were like any other silly man I’ve encountered before; that after you got what you wanted from me, you’d leave. But, you know what? That moment you touched my hair and looked me in the eyes and said that you cared for me, I could see it in your eyes that you were speaking what was in your heart.
You made me feel truly special, Toshiya. I gave you a chance and I haven’t regretted it despite the times we sometimes got irritated at each other. It makes me smile thinking that every time you thought you made me angry, that night you would cuddle up to me. I will never be able to describe the feeling I get when you and I hug. All I can say is… that must be what it feels like to be whole.
The bassist’s frown deepened as he continued to read her words.
You know, Toshiya, I never expected my life to change so much when I met you. No man ever cared for me the way you did. Even though I know I never gave you the answers you desired, you stood by me. Even though I would sometimes do something that infuriated you, you forgave me. Even though—
Toshiya shut the book, eyes clenched shut. Toshiya grasped the book in both hands, bringing it to his face. The bassist smacked the small book against his forehead as a tear rolled out of his eye again.
“You idiot…” He mumbled, “Why did you run from me? Why didn’t you let me help you? Why did you have to go and get yourself hurt instead of coming to me!”
Toshiya shouted to himself, or more so to the book. Opening his eyes, Toshiya looked at the black cover, some of his tears sliding down it. Sighing softly, he shook his head, “I can’t be angry at you…”
Toshiya killed the engine of his car and stepped out. Treaded his way up to his apartment, Toshiya clutched the small book in one hand at his side. He wanted to keep reading her words, but he felt pain from them. It almost felt like they were going to be all he had left of her. Toshiya didn’t want things to be that way. To never see her again, with only this book to remember her by.
Sniffing back through his tears, Toshiya let his fingers slide down his face until his hands fell in his lap. Deep umber orbs opened to stare at the ceiling before he shook his head, gaze falling back on her seat. The bassist swallowed before he gently took the small book in his hands, fingertips lightly tracing the lining of the cover. A tiny smile crept to his lips as he remembered the day he had given her the book.
“Aw, Toshi! But you know I can’t write!”
Toshiya chuckled, “Not even if it’s for me?”
A tiny smile lingered on her lips as she looked down to the book, tracing the cover with her fingertips.
The bassist stared at it a moment longer, feeling a river of emotions in the pit of his stomach about ready to burst. Toshiya turned the cover, the first two sheets blank until he finally found a page she had written on. His index finger traced her handwriting as he frowned once more. Toshiya began to read what she had written.
Toshiya,
You gave me this book and asked me to fill the pages. Even while knowing I couldn’t write, you insisted. So, here I have decided to write all the things I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud to anyone. I don’t think you will read this, I probably won’t let you. My thought is that if you ever do read it, it will most likely because you done so while I was asleep or found it while I was at work. Even still, know that while I may act mad, I could never stay angry when you smile that goofball smile of yours.
Toshiya couldn’t stop the slight chuckle that built in his chest when he read that line. Reading her words like this, it was like she was really talking to him. It pained Toshiya’s heart that he was not reading this because he found her book while she was sleeping or at work; but because she was in the hospital terribly injured.
From the time I’ve met you, you seemed like such a lady’s man. You were always bouncing around and smiling. You were constantly flirting and teasing with everyone. At first, I thought you were like any other silly man I’ve encountered before; that after you got what you wanted from me, you’d leave. But, you know what? That moment you touched my hair and looked me in the eyes and said that you cared for me, I could see it in your eyes that you were speaking what was in your heart.
You made me feel truly special, Toshiya. I gave you a chance and I haven’t regretted it despite the times we sometimes got irritated at each other. It makes me smile thinking that every time you thought you made me angry, that night you would cuddle up to me. I will never be able to describe the feeling I get when you and I hug. All I can say is… that must be what it feels like to be whole.
The bassist’s frown deepened as he continued to read her words.
You know, Toshiya, I never expected my life to change so much when I met you. No man ever cared for me the way you did. Even though I know I never gave you the answers you desired, you stood by me. Even though I would sometimes do something that infuriated you, you forgave me. Even though—
Toshiya shut the book, eyes clenched shut. Toshiya grasped the book in both hands, bringing it to his face. The bassist smacked the small book against his forehead as a tear rolled out of his eye again.
“You idiot…” He mumbled, “Why did you run from me? Why didn’t you let me help you? Why did you have to go and get yourself hurt instead of coming to me!”
Toshiya shouted to himself, or more so to the book. Opening his eyes, Toshiya looked at the black cover, some of his tears sliding down it. Sighing softly, he shook his head, “I can’t be angry at you…”
Toshiya killed the engine of his car and stepped out. Treaded his way up to his apartment, Toshiya clutched the small book in one hand at his side. He wanted to keep reading her words, but he felt pain from them. It almost felt like they were going to be all he had left of her. Toshiya didn’t want things to be that way. To never see her again, with only this book to remember her by.