The Original Selfish Machines.
five.
June 24th, 2012
It's almost 5:30am, I came home at 4am after being out since 7. Oh the joys of having no curfew. I went to a friend's graduation party and left at 10 to go pick my friend up from work who also likes me.
Tell me why he didn't make a move tonight. I laid in his bed in booty shorts and a Sleeping With Sirens shirt that said 'fucking' across the chest. The most he did was brush his fingers across my calf. We were really close and it's like wow, you missed your chance. I seriously just don't get it. We were even watching Friends with Benefits and that didn't even give him an idea to make a move. I guess I'm used to hooking up with AJ and Jaime and I don't have to say that I'm dtf in order to get laid. I simply have to look them in the eye with a smile before their lips press hard into mine and we do the dirty.
He told me he liked me a few nights ago (I knew he did before he told me though). He knew he waited too long to tell me, I agreed. I'm moving away at the end of July/early August for school, so it would be pointless to be together for like a month and I don't know exactly how I feel about him. It's his own fault because we've known each other for nearly a year so he had time to tell me. He told me about how he was describing his dream girl to his brother one night and realized that he was describing me. But is that fucked up of me that I'm not completely sure of my feelings for him yet I'd still hook up with him?
I don't want to get things confused. she said she'd never settle for some boy she couldn't use.
He told me how he was talking to one of his friends about me and she was basically saying like, 'if you feel like she's the one, don't pass her up. You're still young and have the opportunity to explore the see the other parts of the states.' Okay, hold up, see the other parts of the states, as in follow me across the country? How could someone like me that much when we're not even dating? I don't get it. I wish I could let him down easy and tell him that there'll be better girls than me, that I'm not worth the guilt or being upset. That I'll only completely break his heart in the end.
you're the lowest type, you're the lowest.
When I got home I was bored and decided to lurk Facebook. I went on his page and looked at the last few things He posted; a link to the video for "Should've Kissed You" by Chris Brown right after I left, 'Don't wait to long cuz it may be to late when you speak up' on Friday night, a link to 'Leaving Home' by T. Mills, and 'Ik what I want to say the words just wont come out :/ oh well' on Thursday. Seeing all this just makes me kinda feel sorry for the guy.
Tonight before I even left the party I kept asking myself, should I even go see him? I mean, I already told him we'd hangout and I'd pick him up from work, that'd be a bitch move to leave him hanging like that. But then I thought, wouldn't I just be leading him on with hanging out with him late at night? Kylie thought I would just get his hopes up.
I hope Mr. Right puts up with all the bullshit that you do.
It's almost 5:30am, I came home at 4am after being out since 7. Oh the joys of having no curfew. I went to a friend's graduation party and left at 10 to go pick my friend up from work who also likes me.
Tell me why he didn't make a move tonight. I laid in his bed in booty shorts and a Sleeping With Sirens shirt that said 'fucking' across the chest. The most he did was brush his fingers across my calf. We were really close and it's like wow, you missed your chance. I seriously just don't get it. We were even watching Friends with Benefits and that didn't even give him an idea to make a move. I guess I'm used to hooking up with AJ and Jaime and I don't have to say that I'm dtf in order to get laid. I simply have to look them in the eye with a smile before their lips press hard into mine and we do the dirty.
He told me he liked me a few nights ago (I knew he did before he told me though). He knew he waited too long to tell me, I agreed. I'm moving away at the end of July/early August for school, so it would be pointless to be together for like a month and I don't know exactly how I feel about him. It's his own fault because we've known each other for nearly a year so he had time to tell me. He told me about how he was describing his dream girl to his brother one night and realized that he was describing me. But is that fucked up of me that I'm not completely sure of my feelings for him yet I'd still hook up with him?
I don't want to get things confused. she said she'd never settle for some boy she couldn't use.
He told me how he was talking to one of his friends about me and she was basically saying like, 'if you feel like she's the one, don't pass her up. You're still young and have the opportunity to explore the see the other parts of the states.' Okay, hold up, see the other parts of the states, as in follow me across the country? How could someone like me that much when we're not even dating? I don't get it. I wish I could let him down easy and tell him that there'll be better girls than me, that I'm not worth the guilt or being upset. That I'll only completely break his heart in the end.
you're the lowest type, you're the lowest.
When I got home I was bored and decided to lurk Facebook. I went on his page and looked at the last few things He posted; a link to the video for "Should've Kissed You" by Chris Brown right after I left, 'Don't wait to long cuz it may be to late when you speak up' on Friday night, a link to 'Leaving Home' by T. Mills, and 'Ik what I want to say the words just wont come out :/ oh well' on Thursday. Seeing all this just makes me kinda feel sorry for the guy.
Tonight before I even left the party I kept asking myself, should I even go see him? I mean, I already told him we'd hangout and I'd pick him up from work, that'd be a bitch move to leave him hanging like that. But then I thought, wouldn't I just be leading him on with hanging out with him late at night? Kylie thought I would just get his hopes up.
I hope Mr. Right puts up with all the bullshit that you do.
♠ ♠ ♠
You know what's really fucked up of me? I lead guys on and drop them. I did it during this past winter to this kid I worked with and didn't like at all, he wasn't cute and he got on my nerves quickly. He cheated on his girlfriend with me in the work parking lot one night but I wouldn't let him go all the way just to pull him in even more. I ignored most of his texts for months and rarely paid attention to him at work when I still worked there. I'm a fucked up person and waiting for this shit to catch up to me.