Don't Let Me Go.

Feeling like a ghost in the middle of a crowded room.
I’m alone, a stranger in my own town.
Oh, who will be the one the save me?
Fix me up, help me come around, I'm falling now…

“Hey, Halls, did you hear about Nicky and Craig last weekend?” my best friend Lily greets me, ever the gossip spreader.

“I’m sure I could tell you if I knew who Nicky and Craig were, Lils” I reply, shaking my head.

“Oh, yeah. Always forget you aren’t in my classes this year. Different uni and all.” She smiles.
Um, ouch?

“Hey Halli, you should come to Josh‘s party tonight, meet everyone!” Kathy, my other best friend chimes in.

“That’s such a great idea Kat; she can meet all our friends!” Lilly agrees, nodding.
Since when did we have different friends?

“Um, okay. Sure.” I reply, frowning.



“We’ll catch up with you in a sec, just gotta go talk to Nicky, kay Halls?” Lilly says quickly, before grabbing Kathy’s arm and dragging her away, leaving me on my own, in a party full of people I don’t know, with no way home. Clever.

I push through the sweaty grinding teens towards what I hope is the kitchen, and look around for a coke or something non-alcoholic. This is a teenage house party Halli, why would there be non-alcoholic drinks?

Eventually finding a can of Mountain Dew, I hop up onto the island/breakfast bar in the middle of the kitchen, and look around. A couple making out the fridge. Another couple practically having sex
against the back door. Why did I let Lilly drive here?

Suddenly, the guy standing with his friends in front of me flicks his arm back, not realising he is holding a beer in that hand, ends up covering me with it. I gasp as the cold liquid hits my face and chest, and the guy turns around, a smirk plastered on his obviously drunk face.

“Nice bra, Red.” He says, licking his lips suggestively.
I look down, realising my white top has gone see through, and glare at the guy.

“Fuck you, asshole.” I growl, attempting to slide off the island. His hands land either side of me, effectively trapping me in place.

“If you’re offering, sexy.” He says, practically drooling on my chest as his friends laugh and hoot behind him. Shit.

“Hey, asshole. Move.” A deep voice says, and I look up just in time to see a hoodie dropped onto my lap. I hastily pick it up and shove it over my head, eager to have the creep’s eyes off my chest.

The guy’s hands fall to his sides and he steps back, allowing me to slide off the island and stand up, finally looking at my saviour.
Wow.

He’s about 6 inches taller than my 5.3 frame, with messy dark hair falling in his grey-green eyes. Gorgeous.

He coughs slightly, stopping me from staring, and grabs my wrist, leading me out of the kitchen and away from the meatheads. We stop when we get to the back door long enough for the guy to push the aforementioned couple out of the way and open the door.

I immediately shrink further into the hoodie, away from the cold.

“Thanks for that, back there.” I say quietly, staring at the grass in front of me.

“No problem. Guy’s a dick, talking to a fucking girl like that.” He mumbles, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his back pocket.

“It’s bad for you.” I mumble, without realising what I’m saying.

“What?” he replies.

“Smoking, it’ll kill you one day.”

“Whatever. Would you rather I went back and killed the guy?” I shake my head quickly.

"Thought so. You got a name, Red?” he says, lighting up anyway.

“Halli-Rae. Don’t call me ‘Red’.” I reply, and his eyes flick up to my face.

“I meant it ‘cos of your hair, but it kinda matches your cheeks now” he smiles, his eyes amused.

“Just don’t, kay? And you never told me your name.”

“But, my dear, you never asked” he says with a wink. “Josh.”

“Ahh, this is your party. I see.” I smile, wrapping my arms around myself and shivering.

“Indeed it is, and I think you should come dance with me.” He flicks the last of the cigarette to the ground, and without waiting for a reply, takes my hand and pulls me back inside.


“You know, Halli-Rae, you’re not a bad dancer.”

“Thanks. I’m so hot.” I reply and Josh’s eyes widen slightly. “I meant because of the hoodie, moron.”

“I knew that. “ he winks, then grabs my hand again, dragging me off the dance floor towards the stairs.

“Woahh, dude. Not that kind of girl.”

“I’m getting you something else to wear, genius.” He says, rolling his eyes and he leads me up the stairs, ignoring the whistles and cat calls.

He cautiously twists the door handle, then opens it fully when we know the room is empty.
His room is surprisingly neat, for a guy. I mean, sure, there are the odd cup or dirty laundry littered around, but it’s not nearly as bad as some I’ve seen.

“Thanks, you know, for being nice to me, even though I’m sure you’d rather be playing stupid drinking games or making out with hot chicks or whatever guys like you do at parties.” I say quietly as he looks around in his drawers.

“Guys like me? I’m not that sort of person Rae. I’d much rather be here with you then down there with them.”

“Why?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“You’re cute. It’s hard to explain but I feel… I dunno, I feel like I can be myself around you. Like you aren’t judging me. Sort of…” he says, finally pulling out a t-shirt and throwing it to me.
“I won’t look” he winks.

“I know how you feel. You’re the first guy that hasn’t tried to grope me since I got here. And thanks for this. I really appreciate it.” I reply, turning my back to him as I take off my sticky, beer soaked shirt and replace it with his.

“Stop thanking me Rae.” I can almost hear the roll of his eyes again.

“You’re the only person that’s ever called me that.” I tell him, fixing my hair into a messy bun with the hair ties on my wrist. “You can look now.”

“What do people call you then?”

“The obvious, Halli, Hals. That sort of thing.” I shrug, throwing his hoodie back to him.

“But not Red?” he asks again, and I visibly flinch.

“c’mon Red, don’t be scared. All you’ve gotta do is climb on the rock, and then jump over. I’ll be right behind you.” Oz tries to persuade a 12 year old me.

“I’ll try.” I decide, scrambling onto the slippery wet surface, in order to jump across the river.

I quickly find my balance, and take a huge jump, squeezing my eyes shut until I feel my feet hit the muddy bank. I turn around just in time to see Oz jump, but something happens, and suddenly he is falling. And theres nothing I can hear except him screaming my name.

“Halli! Halli! Halli… Don’t let me go.” and he’s gone, swept away by the water before I can even blink.

“Halli? Why are you crying? I didn’t mean to.. fuck, I’m sorry Rae, I’m such an idiot.” Josh’s arms wrap around my small frame, holding me close as his t-shirt dampens under my skin.

“I’m sorry. I just… Oz… I miss him so much.” I sob, clutching onto him like a child.

He runs his fingers through my sticky hair, and whispers unintellible things in my ear until I’ve calmed down a bit.

“do you want me to get someone? I don’t know who you came with but…” he trails off, looking at me again.

“Don’t let me go.” I whisper, “Call Lily on my phone? She’ll come get me.”

I hand over my phone and he makes me sit on his bed, before he dials a number, not taking his eyes off me.

“Lily? It’s Josh. Yeah, I know. Yeah, Halli’s a bit upset, can you come upstairs? Yeah, hold on a sec then. Thanks.”

Less than a minute later, theres a knock on the door and he rushes over to open it.”

“Oh god, Halli are you okay? What happened?” Lily bursts in, immediately hugging me tightly.

“I miss Oz.” I say sadly.

“What happened to her? She’s wearing different clothes and she stinks of Beer.” She asks Josh. “Halli, are you drunk? You don’t drink babe, why did you do this?” she then tells me.

“She’s not drunk Lily. Some douche tipped a cup of beer on her. Her white top went see through and some guys were perving over her. She just… I asked her why she doesn’t like being called Red and she started crying, and saying something about Oz and ‘don’t let me go’” Josh tells her, starting a fresh wave of sobs.

“Oh Hals, I’m so sorry we left you. We thought you were right there. I’ll take you home now.” She says.

“Josh, Oz was her brother. He died when she was 12. He drowned in the river trying to jump it. He always called her Red. The last thing he said before he got pulled away was ‘don’t let me go’.”

“He didn’t know Lily, It’s okay. Thanks for being so nice to me Josh, but I’m just gonna go home now. I’ll return your top when I can.”

“I’m gonna go find Kat, I’ll meet you by the front door okay?” Lily, announces, squeezing me quickly and then getting up, nodding slightly at Josh, who is still hovering by the door.

“I’m really-“
“Stop apologising. It’s not your fault.” I get up, and throw my arms around Josh;s neck, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you.” I whisper, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

At the last second, he turns his head, and his lips are on mine, and I can’t think about anything other than the tingles and the butterflies I’m experiencing.
Eventually, we both pull away and I look down, biting my lip.

“Wow.” Josh mutters, smiling at me.

“Wow.” I agree.

“C’mon, let’s go find Lily.” He laughs, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me down to the front door, where Lily and Kat are waiting.

“Took your time, what were you two doing up there?” Kat’s ever so slightly drunk mind asks, and I feel my cheeks burning again.

“I’ll let you go. Be safe Rae. I’ll see you soon?” theres a hint of a smirk in his tone and I can’t help but smile.

“I have to return your shirt. Bye Josh.”

He pecks my cheek and removes his arm from my waist, allowing me to follow my best friends to the car.

I glance back at the door just as he turns to go back inside, and a smile spreads across my lips again.

Maybe I’m not so alone…