Through Sin and Self Destruction

I woke a piercing hangover, not even remembering last night's events until I felt a warm body beside me. Who the fuck? I looked over to see a sleeping Ben and a smirk began to form on my face. I decided to get up and look for some pills because my body could hardly function. I slipped on my clothes and walked out to the front of this tour bus, only to find Jocelynn and James tangled in each other's naked bodies on the couch. How did they get here? What was going on?

All of a sudden another guy popped out of the bunk area. He looked like one of James's friends from last night. I think his name was Danny? He was extra chipper and told Jocelynn and James good morning. Now I was really confused.

"Jocelynn? Why the fuck are you here?" I asked as I still went on my search to cure my throbbing head. Jocelynn began to sit up, covering herself with a blanket.

"I think the better question is, what are YOU doing here? This is James's tour bus." She looked intrigued at the fact that her best friend was here.

Now I was extremely confused. I was just with Ben. How could this be his band's bus? I looked up when Danny gave me some aspirin and apple juice. I was very thankful and took them. I was already stressed and the day hasn't even started. James gets up and goes to the bunk area to change. Jocelynn heads to the bathroom, pulling me with her.

"Seriously, what are you doing? What happened last night?" Her voice seemed worried, like every other time when I do something I can't quite explain. I leaned against the sink as she changed and thought about last night.

"Well, I went to work like every night. You showed up with James and his friends. I ran into Ben and he was being a major dick. I went back onstage, did my thing. I got shitfaced because Ben pissed me off. Then the last thing I know, we were headed to his bus and fucking." I shrugged it off. Her gaze turned into a shocked stare.

"Ben?" She seemed worried, once again. At that moment Ben walked in, in his boxers. He was looking for something. I was guessing cigarettes. We exit the bathroom with everyone else and James goes over, talking to Ben casually. Jocelynn pulls me closer to the front.

"Ben plays guitar in James's band, Asking Alexandria. Is this the same Ben you've been fucking around with?" She crossed her arms quickly and raised her eyebrow.

"Well, is sure does look like that, huh?" Today has just started out too confusing for my liking.

"I think you need to get a move on. I don't like my whores staying after noon." I turned around quickly to see Ben smirking and all the guys chuckling at him. What the fuck?! I was so pissed off but why would I be pissed? I ran out the door with Jocelynn running after me. Maybe I was upset. All I knew was Ben was an extreme dick around his friends. Stupid cocky asshole. Jocelynn grabbed my arm and looked apologetic.

"Look, Ben's a complete asshole to all the girls he fucks.. Sometimes, they run out crying. I'm actually suprised he lets you come back." She was serious and this made me more pissed off. No, I felt jealous. I was the best and Ben knew it. He didn't have to get other girls?! He could grab this piece of ass any day. What am I saying? I never get jealous.

"Lil, go home and relax.. You've had a rough morning." She hugged me goodbye and I began walking to my car. Someone was standing against it as I walked closer I saw the small figure of Ben smoking his cigarette. His smirk widened when I reached him.

"I had a swell time in the sack, yeah?" That wicked smirk killed me and his words pierced at me.

"Fuck you, you son of a bitch!" My hand swung and slapped him hard across his left cheek. At that, I got into my car and drove off.

Why would he be bothering me so much?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------