The Summer With Spencer

I sat next to Morgan and Reid, while Prentiss went to get us some coffee. “So what were you guys doing home ?” I asked Morgan, trying to distract myself. “We didn’t get any cases in yet today, but we had to go to the office and do some paperwork first.” “Then what was Hotch and Rossi doing with you guys, they don’t live there…” “We were gonna play some poker while the girls watched chick-flicks.” “Oh,” I replied. Garcia came and sat down beside me, squeezing my leg. “Sorry girly, we couldn’t get an update yet,” she told me solemnly. It was one of the few times since I’ve known her that she looked somber. “Thanks for trying,” I told her, giving her a broken smile. Even to me, my voice sounded dead, void of emotion. I was vaguely aware of Derek telling the others about my observations with Eddie’s suicide attempt, but I was lost in thought. When did my life become something out of a horror film, or a Lifetime movie ? When had the train gone so far off track ? Just when I thought things were turning right again, a corkscrew is thrown into the mix again. In the past two weeks, I had been kidnapped, beaten, rescued, dead, in a coma, and had run away. And now I had found someone I loved near-dead and saved their life. I realized that I hadn’t talked to my parents in a long time either, since the day I had come to Virginia. They had to have known I had been kidnapped, so they obviously just didn’t care enough to contact me. What a life this was turning out to be.

I felt sick, sick to my stomach. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, I threw up bile, that’s how stressed I was. I rinsed my mouth out and walked back, picking at my cast. I sat down again next to Garcia and Morgan. Reid was sitting in the chair across from me now, looking at the floor. Prentiss, JJ and Hotch were trying to create a profile on Eddie, trying to determine why he did what he did, I suppose. Garcia and Derek were looking something up on her phone, and I hadn’t a clue where Gideon and Rossi were. I began to ponder why it was that I wasn’t more freaked out about my abduction. If I had been so paranoid before, how did that experience make it any better ? I guess because now that it had finally happened, I could stop worrying about it ? Whatever the case, it made me feel inhuman to be so calm after that ordeal. The doctor came up then, rescuing me from my dark wonderments. He looked right at me and said,” I’m sorry.”

But his next words brought relief. He only said he was sorry that I had had to deal with this. He jabbered on about how I saved his life, and how good my stitching was and some other compliments I didn’t care to hear. I was only glad that I had saved a life, Eddie’s life, no matter how mad I was at him. I had always wanted to save someone’s life, and I got to do it earlier than I had expected. And for that, I was grateful.

I didn’t want to see Eddie. I had saved his life and that was it. I didn’t care whether anyone else had thought our fight was petty, that I should have apologized to him. He had talked down about Spencer. I was not about to let anyone, no matter how important they may be, get away with that. And since I couldn’t have punched him in the face, verbal(or lack thereof) abuse was necessary. “ I want to go home,” I whispered. “That’s understandable, we’ll take you right away,” Morgan told me. But he had misunderstood. I meant home. Back to Michigan.

Spence looked at me, I knew he could detect the hidden notion in my words. I could count on him for that, being a genius and all, and the sunshine of my life. I huddled close to him as we walked, my stupid full-arm cast touching his own arm, barely. He was the only one I could count on for everything- compassion, understanding, guidance, acknowledgement, and being able to be myself with him without ridicule. It’s funny how a person you might not expect is the one who you owe everything to. Spencer Reid was my person, and I had belief that he was given to me for a reason. I guess at the end of the day, faith is a funny thing, it turns up when you don’t really expect it. You figure out that your fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. Your castle, well, it may not be a castle. And you conclude that it’s not so important to have happy ever after, just happy right now. I guess once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while, they may even take your breath away.