The Summer With Spencer
The Summer With Spencer, Chapter 21- Never Saw It Coming
Spencer’s POV
I couldn’t believe that the other guys had agreed to this. The girls all looked so eager to go shopping, but I had no idea what to do in this type of situation; I was nervous. I felt relief when Derek and the others led me into some manly-type stores. They ooh-ed and ahh-ed over fishing gear and the like, and I worked to make myself appear appropriately interested. I didn’t give any facts, because I hardly knew any about this type of subject and I didn’t asked any questions, afraid to sound like an adolescent female. Morgan told me to follow him, and he swaggered through the store, catching the eye of at least four attractive women on the way to our unknown destination. He acquired all of their phone numbers, and we only stopped to talk to one of them.
He led me into the women’s department, straight to where Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss were standing. Llysa spotted us from the dressing room and ran back inside. She emerged a moment later in a dark purple dress and black heels, walking like she was on the catwalk. The others laughed and clapped, and I did the same. Soon, the team, Llysa, and I headed for home, our home this time. Gideon gave Llysa the tour, and then Rossi banned all of us from the kitchen where he would be preparing dinner. Garcia and Llysa wandered off, and I collapsed on the couch, tired of pretending to be a normal, socially functioning person.
I ascended the stairs, struggling to decide whether I should show Llysa my room. I had been in hers many times, and it was so her, it was nice. When she was in her bedroom, she let everything go, she never hid anything, it was her personal space, after all. But my bedroom, on the other hand, would appear cluttered and disorganized to the untrained eye, and probably boring as well. I decided that I owed it to her to show her my personal space, and I knocked on Garcia’s door.
Llysa looked excited when I asked her if she would like to see my bedroom. I led her to my room, next to Penelope’s. I watched her expression as she stepped inside. She scanned the room, taking in every detail. She asked if she was allowed to look at my books, and I gave her the okay. I watched as she smiled while reading some of the titles, recognizing some of them. I gazed at my feet and smiled secretly. I looked up and saw her staring back at me. “I like it,” she finally said sincerely. My face broke into a smile, and I didn’t even have to force it.
Llysa’s POV
Rossi had made us chicken caccitore, but he left the house shortly after. However, Hotch stayed to help clean up and watch one movie with us. I ran next door to change into my pajamas, and when I returned, The Other Guys was playing. We all laughed at the humor, except for Spencer of course. Hotch left shortly after that ended, but the rest of us stayed up for one more movie. Gideon and Derek went upstairs to sleep in their beds, but JJ, Prentiss, Garcia, Reid, and I stayed in the living room. As I settled into sleep, I began to think about Eddie. On the outside, I pretended not to care, but on the inside, I still worried about him. I began to ponder why he made the decision he had made, what had sent him over the edge. I feared that I knew the answer to my own question; me. I had more than likely made his life a living hell, so much that he didn’t want to live anymore.
I sat up in the darkness, aware of scuffling and movement. Someone else was up. I scanned the room, searching for the unknown being. I stood, confused at what I saw. It looked like it was Reid, but what was he doing ? He was scratching at the wall, like he was trying to escape. He was mumbling something, and scratching and feeling around in the dark. I tiptoed over to him,”Spence ?” he whorled quickly and did something unexpected. He hit me.
Reid whacked me on the chest, and continued to slap at me. “What the hell ?! Reid ?!” By now the others were starting to wake. Reid spun me towards the wall and shoved me roughly up against it, still muttering. He took my head and banged it against the drywall, hard. Someone flicked the light on and called Morgan. The girls were trying to subdue Reid, but to no avail. He was dreaming, I suddenly realized. Morgan came running down the steps, and yelled “SPENCER REID,” as loud as he could. Spencer’s eyes opened. He looked in horror at me, apparently comprehending what was going on immediately. My head throbbed, and I rubbed the back of it. I patted his shoulder, “Are you okay ? You look pretty freaked, it’s gonna be alright, I’m here.” I told him, trying to soothe him, I knew it hadn't been his fault. Everyone gaped at me. Then, for the second time that night, Spencer did something very unexpected.
“What is wrong with you ? I hurt you. Stop trying to connect with me, stop trying to always be around me, holding my hand and taking baby steps. Stop patronizing me, stop hovering over me all the time, just stop. I’m a grown man, and I don’t need you, he hissed at me in a low, menacing voice. I took a step away from him, shocked. “ Get out.” “Get out of my house,” he told me, in the same threatening tone. My face crumpled, and I couldn’t fight the tears as they rolled down my flaming cheeks. I turned and strode out of the house, snatching my Domo off the floor on the way out. I kept my cool and closed the door silently behind me. Once I entered the muggy velvet night, I began to run.
I ran to my front door, and closed it behind me, locking it tightly. I turned and let myself slide on my back down to the floor, drawing my knees to my chest. I sobbed for a few minutes before I pulled it together. I jumped up and closed all of the blinds in the living room. I scribbled a quick note on a sticky note, and attached it to the front door, telling the other members of the team not to worry about me. I couldn’t believe that had just happened; what had I done to him ? In fact, what had I done to deserve any of this; the injuries from my kidnapping, my parents, Eddie blowing up in my face, Spencer blowing up in my face, Eddie’s attempted suicide, my life. What do I have to live for now ? I just lost the only thing that mattered to me, and I don’t even know why.
I wandered through the empty house, closing all of the windows tightly, and drawing all of the other blinds and curtains, and turning on all of the lights. I slumped to the floor in the middle of the living room, letting out a harsh cry. I let it all out, my head dropped into my hands, my palms raking over my face, wet with tears. Again, I couldn’t help but ask myself the question why. Why as in ‘why do I seem to repel anything good’, why as in ‘why does this keep happening to me’, why as in ‘why was I even born’ ? What purpose did my life serve now ?
I couldn’t believe that the other guys had agreed to this. The girls all looked so eager to go shopping, but I had no idea what to do in this type of situation; I was nervous. I felt relief when Derek and the others led me into some manly-type stores. They ooh-ed and ahh-ed over fishing gear and the like, and I worked to make myself appear appropriately interested. I didn’t give any facts, because I hardly knew any about this type of subject and I didn’t asked any questions, afraid to sound like an adolescent female. Morgan told me to follow him, and he swaggered through the store, catching the eye of at least four attractive women on the way to our unknown destination. He acquired all of their phone numbers, and we only stopped to talk to one of them.
He led me into the women’s department, straight to where Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss were standing. Llysa spotted us from the dressing room and ran back inside. She emerged a moment later in a dark purple dress and black heels, walking like she was on the catwalk. The others laughed and clapped, and I did the same. Soon, the team, Llysa, and I headed for home, our home this time. Gideon gave Llysa the tour, and then Rossi banned all of us from the kitchen where he would be preparing dinner. Garcia and Llysa wandered off, and I collapsed on the couch, tired of pretending to be a normal, socially functioning person.
I ascended the stairs, struggling to decide whether I should show Llysa my room. I had been in hers many times, and it was so her, it was nice. When she was in her bedroom, she let everything go, she never hid anything, it was her personal space, after all. But my bedroom, on the other hand, would appear cluttered and disorganized to the untrained eye, and probably boring as well. I decided that I owed it to her to show her my personal space, and I knocked on Garcia’s door.
Llysa looked excited when I asked her if she would like to see my bedroom. I led her to my room, next to Penelope’s. I watched her expression as she stepped inside. She scanned the room, taking in every detail. She asked if she was allowed to look at my books, and I gave her the okay. I watched as she smiled while reading some of the titles, recognizing some of them. I gazed at my feet and smiled secretly. I looked up and saw her staring back at me. “I like it,” she finally said sincerely. My face broke into a smile, and I didn’t even have to force it.
Llysa’s POV
Rossi had made us chicken caccitore, but he left the house shortly after. However, Hotch stayed to help clean up and watch one movie with us. I ran next door to change into my pajamas, and when I returned, The Other Guys was playing. We all laughed at the humor, except for Spencer of course. Hotch left shortly after that ended, but the rest of us stayed up for one more movie. Gideon and Derek went upstairs to sleep in their beds, but JJ, Prentiss, Garcia, Reid, and I stayed in the living room. As I settled into sleep, I began to think about Eddie. On the outside, I pretended not to care, but on the inside, I still worried about him. I began to ponder why he made the decision he had made, what had sent him over the edge. I feared that I knew the answer to my own question; me. I had more than likely made his life a living hell, so much that he didn’t want to live anymore.
I sat up in the darkness, aware of scuffling and movement. Someone else was up. I scanned the room, searching for the unknown being. I stood, confused at what I saw. It looked like it was Reid, but what was he doing ? He was scratching at the wall, like he was trying to escape. He was mumbling something, and scratching and feeling around in the dark. I tiptoed over to him,”Spence ?” he whorled quickly and did something unexpected. He hit me.
Reid whacked me on the chest, and continued to slap at me. “What the hell ?! Reid ?!” By now the others were starting to wake. Reid spun me towards the wall and shoved me roughly up against it, still muttering. He took my head and banged it against the drywall, hard. Someone flicked the light on and called Morgan. The girls were trying to subdue Reid, but to no avail. He was dreaming, I suddenly realized. Morgan came running down the steps, and yelled “SPENCER REID,” as loud as he could. Spencer’s eyes opened. He looked in horror at me, apparently comprehending what was going on immediately. My head throbbed, and I rubbed the back of it. I patted his shoulder, “Are you okay ? You look pretty freaked, it’s gonna be alright, I’m here.” I told him, trying to soothe him, I knew it hadn't been his fault. Everyone gaped at me. Then, for the second time that night, Spencer did something very unexpected.
“What is wrong with you ? I hurt you. Stop trying to connect with me, stop trying to always be around me, holding my hand and taking baby steps. Stop patronizing me, stop hovering over me all the time, just stop. I’m a grown man, and I don’t need you, he hissed at me in a low, menacing voice. I took a step away from him, shocked. “ Get out.” “Get out of my house,” he told me, in the same threatening tone. My face crumpled, and I couldn’t fight the tears as they rolled down my flaming cheeks. I turned and strode out of the house, snatching my Domo off the floor on the way out. I kept my cool and closed the door silently behind me. Once I entered the muggy velvet night, I began to run.
I ran to my front door, and closed it behind me, locking it tightly. I turned and let myself slide on my back down to the floor, drawing my knees to my chest. I sobbed for a few minutes before I pulled it together. I jumped up and closed all of the blinds in the living room. I scribbled a quick note on a sticky note, and attached it to the front door, telling the other members of the team not to worry about me. I couldn’t believe that had just happened; what had I done to him ? In fact, what had I done to deserve any of this; the injuries from my kidnapping, my parents, Eddie blowing up in my face, Spencer blowing up in my face, Eddie’s attempted suicide, my life. What do I have to live for now ? I just lost the only thing that mattered to me, and I don’t even know why.
I wandered through the empty house, closing all of the windows tightly, and drawing all of the other blinds and curtains, and turning on all of the lights. I slumped to the floor in the middle of the living room, letting out a harsh cry. I let it all out, my head dropped into my hands, my palms raking over my face, wet with tears. Again, I couldn’t help but ask myself the question why. Why as in ‘why do I seem to repel anything good’, why as in ‘why does this keep happening to me’, why as in ‘why was I even born’ ? What purpose did my life serve now ?