The Summer With Spencer

Llysa's POV
I leaned over the deck railing, sighing heavily. All of my memories came flooding back, drowning out my thoughts. They were rushing through my head, making it pound. I turned and rested my back against the railing, sliding down to sit with my knees to my chest. I cradled my aching head in my hands, tears streaming down. I thought my past was behind me, but I guess not....

Really, I couldnt, well, SHOULDNT blame Spencer, it wasnt his fault. He didnt mean to see the articles, after all, I was the one who had kept them. Once again, I had gone off on him for no reason, shut him out when he was only trying to help me. And when I needed him most. Maybe Eddie had been onto something, trying to take the easy way out....

Spencer's POV
I took a deep breath and followed Llysa outside. I sped up as I saw her curled up, holding her head. I pried her hands off the side of her head, and she lifted her eyes up to meet mine. Fresh tears fell, glistening like they were made of liquid diamond. I looked her straight in the eyes, her hazel ones gazing back in mine. Her's looked like they went on for miles, they held so much depth to them for such a young person. Neither of us blinked, we just stared unwaveringly, each one unwilling to look away or break the gaze. "I'm...sorry." She said softly. She kissed my cheek, covering her eyes with her hands again. I slid over next to her, sitting cross legged. I initiated a hug, wrapping my long arms around her bony waist. She rested her head on my shoulder, rubbing her head on my sweater. She closed her eyes, and I thought of all the hard times we had sat like this, and I began to reminisce all of the time we had spent together. The first day we met, the first statistic I ever told her. For once, I stayed quiet. I knew she needed me, as a friend, not as a savior, not as an agent, not as an elder, not as someone she needed information from. It felt nice to be needed this way.

For once, no one was expecting me to give them information, or make everything better. Someone was just expecting me to be there, and that was fine by me.

Llysa's POV

I heard footsteps, but I didnt look up until I felt Spencer's cold hands over mine, forcing them off of the side of my head. I looked into his eyes, and I felt the sincerity there. I saw how much he just wanted to help me, and I resigned, relaxing my posture but not removing my gaze from him. More tears spilled over, but I still wouldnt look away. "I'm sorry..." I apologized softly, kissing his soft cheek. I removed my wrists from his grip, covering my eyes. Spencer moved away, but then I felt his presence next to me, and his arms wrapped around my waist. I snuggled my head onto his warm shoulder. I closed my eyes, happy that he had forgiven my behavior so easily. No one was a better friend than him, he was always willing to help. I was so lucky to have him.

Even though my eyes were closed, the tears kept coming. I wasnt sobbing; they were silent tears, fat drops that splattered when the hit the wood of the deck. Spencer said nothing, but the silence was peaceful, not awkward or uncaring. It fell around us, blanketing us in warmth and comfort as the late summer sun set behind us.

“It is a grave injustice to a child or adult to insist that they stop crying. One can comfort a person who is crying which enables him to relax and makes further crying unnecessary; but to humiliate a crying child is to increase his pain, and augment his rigidity. We stop other people from crying because we cannot stand the sounds and movements of their bodies. It threatens our own rigidity. It induces similar feelings in ourselves which we dare not express and it evokes a resonance in our own bodies which we resist.” I quoted this to Spencer, the memory of this passage randomly sparked by this everlasting moment we were sharing. "Alexander Lowen." He replied. I nodded, eyes still closed, and stood up to face the sun.