Behind Our Backs

She decided she was going to ask him. Ask Greyson why he was cutting again. What if he got seriously hurt this time? She didn't want that to happen, she cared too much about him to let that happen. That was why when she saw Greyson that day, she would ask him. She decided all of this as she opened her locker and began to put back her text books. Break was in five minutes.

She slammed her locker shut and was just about to turn around when someone tapped her shoulder. She smiled, thinking it would be Greyson, but when she turned to see who it was, her smile faded. Dylan. She froze up. What was she going to do? She didn't want to deny him again... She still loved him. What if he finally gave up interest in her and decided to move on?

She was about to open her mouth and argue with him when he cut her off.

"Ok, before you say anything," He said quickly. "Just let me say what I have to say and THEN you can talk, deal?"

Evaline nodded.

"Ok... I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen!" He was talking about how she had caught him cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend. "I just got caught up in the moment! I was disgusted with myself after and I felt horrible. All I wanna say is... I know you probably don't want me back, I don't deserve a girl like you, but I don't want to have this stupid little mistake between us. Can we at least be friends?"

He stopped, looking for an answer. Evaline appeared to be thinking about it, even though she had already made up her mind. They might as well be friends. He was right, it WAS a stupid little mistake.

"Ok..." She sighed. "I guess we could be friends."

Dylan's eyes lit up.

"Well would you like to walk to the cafeteria with me?" He asked.

"Sure." She laughed and together they made their way down the hallways and towards the cafeteria. They walked in and found the table that Lila, Tom, the football team and other popular girls USUALLY sat at. As she walked by, she saw Greyson sitting alone, his head somewhat bent over his tray of food. As she walked past him, she frowned. She would've sat beside him if she wasn't with all the populars, but she knew Greyson wouldn't let her talk to him in "public". He didn't want her to loose her good reputation because of just letting her talk to him.

She sat down in between Lila and Dylan, but where were Alex and George? They were always with Jeremy or Brandon. If not them, they were with Dylan. She wasn't really concerned that they were gone. She actually hated them and she couldn't care less where they were, but Evaline was curious as to where they were.

She looked around the cafeteria and immediately saw them. They both were sitting beside Greyson, (How did they get there that fast? Wasn't she JUST looking at him?), but she doubted they were engaged in a friendly conversation... She strained her ears to listen to what they were saying to him.

"Hey little emo... Why'd you run away from us yesterday?" Alex asked. "Were you tired of putting up with us?"

She saw Greyson roll his eyes.

"What did you do? Cry all the way home and get out the razor again?" George added.

"Leave me alone." Greyson sighed. She could tell that he was tired of it.

"And why would we do that?" Alex laughed.

"Because. Don't you guys have any friends to hang out with instead of bullying the new kid?" Greyson asked.

"Yes... Unlike you." George said. "Y'know... We see the way you look at Evaline. How you stare at her sometimes."

Evaline looked down, but not in time to miss the blush that crept onto Greyson's pale cheeks.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Greyson said, his voice cracking.

"She would NEVER like you, don't you understand that?" George continued. "Let alone even be your friend..."

She was ticked.... That was enough. She couldn't endure it anymore. She had to do something about it, even if Greyson didn't want her to.

"Dylan." She said coldly, staring at Alex and George. "Get your FRIENDS over here."

"Why?" Dylan furrowed his eyebrows, looking at them.

"Do I need a reason?" She snapped. "Just get them over here. Now."

"Ok then?" He said uncertainly.

She sighed. She didn't mean for it to come out mean. She just wanted them away from Greyson.

"Hey! Alex! George!" Dylan called.

They walked away from Greyson and came to sit at our table, but not without Alex muttering: "See ya loser."

Greyson rolled his eyes again, even though he looked depressed. His bright blue eyes that usually shone with brightness were dull and his head was hanging, making his black hair hide his face. Evaline looked at him sadly. She wished she could do something. At least go over there and talk to him, but that wasn't an option right now. She would make him feel better later, when they were alone. She would ask about the cuts on his wrist too...

"What's up Dyl?" Alex smiled cheerfully.

That disgusted her. How could they feel so happy with themselves after they just did that to Greyson?

"Nothing, I just wanted you to come and sit with us!" Dylan lied. "What were you doing over there anyway?"

"Talking to our little friend." George laughed, pointing to Greyson.

"More like being a pain in the ass than talking to him." Evaline muttered under her breath, making sure no one heard.

"You talk to him?" Dylan raised an eyebrow.

"No, we just like to bug him." He winked. "He's a little emo freak that nobody loves."

Evaline froze up, trying not to show her anger.

"Yeah! He's been here for... I don't know, three days? And he STILL hasn't made any friends!" Alex mused, "I watch him during class sometimes. He draws all over scrap paper and listens to his screamo music... Sometimes he even stares at YOU Evaline." He turned to look at her, smirking.

Evaline blushed slightly, not believing him. She crossed her arms. There were people listening now, not just George and Dylan. Lila, Tom, some of the popular girls, that she had no businesses even caring about, were listening to their conversation. Perfect, now she could embarrass him in front of everyone for picking on Greyson.

"At least he doesn't sit there and pick his nose every class." She said without emotion.

Everyone laughed as Alex turned red.

"I do not!" He protested.

"Yes you do, don't lie. I've watched you. It's actually quite disgusting." Evaline replied truthfully. Everyone laughed again. She looked over his shoulder and saw that Greyson had got up from his table and was moving away, out into the hall. Everyone was in the cafeteria right now. It would be safe to follow him and talk.

She got up from her seat, crossed the room and ran out into the hallway. Greyson was walking alone down the hall, his head down, his eyes still grey. She caught up with him and started to walk beside him. She wanted to cheer him up!

"Hey Greyson!" She smiled.

He looked up and his eyes brightened up once again and they were his regular, piercing blue.

"Hey Evaline." He smiled back. "What's up?"

"Nothing much... Just wanted to talk."

"Ok... About what?" He asked.

She hesitated. She didn't want anyone to hear this talk.
Number one reason: People would bug Greyson even more if they knew or overheard.
Number two reason: No one was supposed to see them together.
So, just to be safe, she grabbed his arm, pulled him into a classroom and closed the door.

"I saw them Greyson." She said. She wasn't talking about Alex and George, she was talking about the cuts.

"Saw what?" He asked confused.

Evaline sighed.

"Yesterday when you were climbing out my window I saw your wrist."

"O-ok?" He stuttered.

"Why didn't you tell me that you still do it?" She asked hurt.

"Those are old scars... I don't do it anymore..." He said, trying to hide his wrist, but Evaline grabbed it.

"But those are pretty fresh slices Greyson." She said sternly, turning over his hand to see the cuts.

"I'm fine, it's nothing. Just drop it." He pulled his wrist away.

"I can't just drop it! I care too much about you to 'just drop it'!" She exclaimed. She was starting to get mad at how nonchalant he was being on the subject.

His eyes widened. "You care about me?" He asked, shocked.

"What kind of question is that?! Of COURSE I care about you! You're my friend, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know..." He said. "It's just, no one has ever really told me that before. Well, I guess my dad, but that's pretty much implied."

Evaline smiled. Should she ask him about the OTHER thing she saw? About Alex and George?

She sighed, frustrated.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing her frustration.

"Nothing... Nothing." She sighed again.

He raised his eyebrows, clearly not satisfied.

"It's nothing, nevermind..." She smiled. Then she completely changed the subject. "Do you want to come over after school again? You didn't stay long last time and my mom said she wants to meet you."

"You told her about me?!" He whispered harshly.

"Greyson, calm down! It's only my mom." She rolled her eyes.

"Only your mom? ONLY your mom?" He laughed. "Evaline, I don't want to meet her yet!"

"Oh my god, you're making this so dramatic!" She exclaimed. "What's wrong with meeting my mom? It's not like we're dating or anything!" She regretted it as soon as it came out of her mouth... She had just made this conversation awkward...

He blushed. "I know, it's just... I don't want to mess up and then your parents'll hate me and then we'll never see each other again except for school..."

"That's what you're scared of?" She asked. "Greyson, I don't care if my parents hate you! I'll still hang out with you!"

"But-"

"Oh, just shut up. My mom'll love you," She cut him off. "You're coming to my house after school and I don't care if you want to be there or not. I'll drag you out of your house if I have to..."

***********************************

"Please, please don't make me come!" Greyson pleaded.

Evaline had him by the arm, and just like she said, she was dragging him out of his house. After school Greyson got home before her, hoping that she wouldn't get the chance to bring him over, but Evaline tricked him into coming outside, and now she was dragging him to her front door.

"Too bad, we're more than halfway there." She said, referring to the door.

"I know, but please." he whined again.

Evaline rolled her eyes and opened the door. Her mom was in the kitchen, bent over the stove like always when she came home.

"Hey mom!" she said loudly. "I've brought home a friend!"

Greyson stopped struggling and he straightened himself up. Evaline let go of his arm, knowing he wouldn't bolt or hide just as her mother stepped around the corner of the kitchen.

"This is Greyson. He was the person I was talking about the other day; my new friend." Evaline explained.

Her mother looked at him closely and examined him from head to foot: his bright blue eyes peering out shyly beneath the curtain of jet black hair, His uneasy smile, his old Beetles band tee, his black skinny jeans that were worn out and torn at the knee and his faded, black converse shoes.

Suddenly, her mom grinned and approached him. It wasn't the fake grin she used when she was greeting annoying or unwanted people, it was the genuine smile that she used when she welcomed old friends. Greyson seemed to calm down a bit, then her mom spoke to him and Evaline held her breath. Great. She was probably going to say something stupid like: 'Oh! So you're the new boy across the street?', but she didn't. She actually said something that surprised her.

"So, I see you like the Beetles?" she asked as she stuck out a hand for a handshake.

Clearly, it was unexpected to Greyson too, "Wait... What?" He shook her hand.

"I said: I see you like the beetles?" She repeated, her smile growing larger and her finger pointing at his chest. "Why else would you be wearing a Beetles t-shirt?"

Greyson looked down at his shirt and it dawned on him.

"Oh!" He smiled. "Yeah! I think they're great!"

"That's good," Then she turned to Evaline and rolled her eyes. "Finally, you bring home someone with musical taste."

Evaline laughed as she and Greyson climbed the stairs and made their way towards her room.

"See?" She asked, still laughing. "I TOLD you my mom would love you..."

"Yeah, she seems pretty cool." He agreed.

They entered her bedroom and sat on her bed.

"So...." Greyson said tentatively. "I noticed that you were sitting with Dylan today in the cafeteria?"

"Oh, yeah!" Evaline smiled happily. It hurt him to see that she was content with being together with Dylan, even after he cheated on her...

"So you guys are good now?" he asked bitterly. She missed the disappointment in his voice, but he didn't try too hard to hide it.

"We're good now!" she confirmed.

Silence... An awkward silence.... Then Evaline started thinking... She moved over and leaned back on the pillows of her bed. Her feet curled up and she brought her legs to her chest.

"Greyson?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you start cutting?" She asked, trying to sound casual about it. No luck, she really wanted to know...

"Oh..." He scratched the back of his head. "Ummm... I don't really know..."

She could tell that he was lying.... He sucked at lying. Plus, he was biting his snakebites; that was never a good sign.

"Please tell me the truth?" She prodded.

"Do you really want to know?" He asked.

Evaline nodded and he sighed. He fell onto the bed on his back and sighed again.

"Well... I guess it happened after my mom..." He died off and she could see that his eyes had started to water. She pretended not to notice as he cleared his throat. "Well, after my mom died... I didn't know what to do. My mom was always the one that I could talk to about my problems and then... I just couldn't tell her anymore. I could never tell my dad and I couldn't tell my friends, due to the fact that I didn't have any.

"I turned self destructive and depressed. I had heard of people cutting themselves and it being a problem and stuff and then I - I decided to try it." He paused and looked Evaline in the eyes. His voice sounded disgusted with himself. "It felt good... It felt REALLY good. I thought no one cared, and so I kept on doing it, and doing it and doing it until there wasn't any room left on my arms and on my wrists for anymore cuts... My dad always asked me why I was wearing long sleeved shirts when it was the hottest day of Summer... I just told him that I wasn't hot. Or my regular t-shirts were dirty and were in the wash... I can't believe I lied to him about that."

Greyson sat up and Evaline unfolded herself to sit beside him.

"So... He didn't know that you did this?" She asked gently.

"No..." He looked down at his feet. "Thank God I didn't cut too deep... I would've had scars..."

She took his hand in hers to look at his wrist. This time he didn't pull away or try to hide it. He just sat there, watching. She stroked the cuts softly with the tips of her fingers and slowly she lifted his hand and pressed her lips against the scars and the new slices. His eyes widened, but he didn't do anything.

Then, she put his hand down and stared into his eyes.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"For what?" He whispered back.

"For you having to deal with all of this..." She said quietly.

"It's just part of being me." He chuckled.

He leaned in slightly and Evaline closed her eyes. She wanted him to kiss her more than anything. She could feel him getting closer to her lips, but just as they were about to make contact, he backed away. Her eyes fluttered open, looking for the reason as to why he didn't kiss her. They landed on Greyson, his eyes glued to the floor and his cheeks crimson.

"I'm sorry." He muttered, not taking his eyes off of the hard wood floor.

"Oh..." She said awkwardly, blushing too. "It's ok..."

"Evaline!" Evaline's mom called up the stairs, breaking the awkward tension in the room. "Supper's ready!! Greyson is more then welcome to stay!"

"Do you want to stay?" Evaline asked.

"Oh, no. No, it's fine, thanks. I have to get back home anyways." He said, getting up off of her bed.

She got up too and they made their way down the stairs together.

"But Greyson," Evaline frowned. "You never stay long. Why?"

They reached the bottom and he walked towards the door, Evaline behind him.

"I'll make it up to you sometime. I promise." He smiled.

"Oh, ok." She smiled back.

"Thank you Mrs. Calamity!" He called as Evaline's mother appeared.

"Oh, no problem!" she said. "Maybe some other time you can stay over?"

"Yeah, sure. I'd definitely like that." He grinned.

Her mom smiled and went back to the kitchen.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Greyson turned to Evaline.

"Yeah..." She replied.

Then, he opened the door and ran home, leaving Evaline staring longingly after him.