Harder Than You Know

“Well we should probably get going.” Craig said stretching his arms over his head and stifling a yawn.

“No you can’t go yet!” I replied partly because I didn’t want them to go; I had forgotten how much fun being around these four guys were. I was honestly having a great time. The main reason I didn’t want them to go was I was dreading the conversation that was going to happen the minute they left. I knew Matt was politely biting his tongue until they were gone and that I was going to have to have the conversation that I have been trying to avoid for four years now. The minute they had fully backed out of the driveway World War III was going to happen.

“Yea we should go. I know I haven’t started packing yet, and I doubt these guys have either.” Monty said standing up and popping his back.

I pouted in defeat. “Fine just leave me here to die of boredom.” I replied pulling a blanket up and over my head. Why I did this I’m not quite sure, it just felt like the thing to do.

“Oh come on Miranda don’t act like that.” Max said before pulling the blanket off of my head.

“I’ll act however I want. Y’all are abandoning me.” I replied crossing my arms over my chest and looking in the opposite direction.

“Now I see where Jade gets it from.” Brian laughed.

“Oh fuck off Haner!” I countered sticking my tongue out at him.

“Real mature Mir. Way to act like a three year old.” He retorted sticking his tongue out at me.

“I spend the majority of my time with a three year old. I’m allowed to act like one every now and then.” I replied with a sarcastic smirk.

“We’ll be back in three days to pick you up for tour.” Max said squatting down in front of me and squeezing my leg. I could see Matt out of the corner of my eye and the minute Max touched my leg he began gritting his teeth.

“Wait three days? Three fucking days!” I yelled jumping up from my seat on the couch and knocking Max over and onto the floor. “You couldn’t have asked me any sooner? You’re giving me three days to get packed and ready for tour? Do you have any idea how long it takes me to get everything I’m going to need packed?” I shrieked looking around the room at the members of Escape the Fate.

“Well hopefully it doesn’t take longer than three days, cause if so you’re screwed.” Robert laughed standing up from his seat and pulling me into a hug. “Bye kiddo we’ll see you in three days. You better be packed by then.” He said as he ruffled the hair on my head and pulled out of the hug.

“I don’t even think our bus can even hold three days’ worth of packing.” Monty joked hugging me as well.

“It doesn’t take me three days to pack it just takes me forever to make sure I’m not forgetting something I’ll need.” I replied as I pulled out of the hug and started pacing making a mental list of things to bring, which I would probably forget in about 10 minutes.

“Miranda calm down I’m sure you won’t forget anything.” Craig said as he grabbed me by the shoulders to stop me from pacing.

“Oh no she will.” Jimmy replied. “She once forgot to bring pants with her. She had packed everything pajama’s, shirts, bras, panties, but no pants, not even shorts.” Jimmy said laughing at the memory.

“Yup and she forgot to bring her camera once, but I think that was just so she could get us to buy her a new one.” Zacky added.

“Oh and let’s not forget about the time she forgot her shoes. She only had the pair of Homer Simpson slippers she came on the bus with. The guys refused to stop anywhere and let her buy shoes for like two weeks.” Emily chimed in.

“Okay I think they get it. I’m very forgetful. Be prepared to stop and buy me something.” I said with a cheesy grin.

“How do you forget your pants?” Craig asked pulling me into a hug.

“They were in the dryer.” I mumbled into his chest.

“You my friend are a piece of work.” Craig replied pulling out of the hug and kissing the top of my head.

“Well it looks like we’re going to be wreaking havoc across the nation in a few days’ time.” Max said walking up to me with a smile on his face.

I couldn’t help but smile back. “I don’t know how much chaos I’ll be causing this time. I kind of can’t risk going to jail.” I replied with a laugh as he pulled me in for a hug.

“I’ve been saying that since I met him, and he somehow always talks me into doing stupid shit.” Craig said laughing.

“Well I’m willing to bet I’ve got a lot more will power than you.” I replied cockily as I popped my head up over Max’s shoulder and looked at Craig.

“Yea she’s good at hiding the truth from people too.” Matt mumbled to himself. Craig looked at him a little confused but shrugged his shoulders not pressing the issue.

“I’ll see you soon.” Max said before kissing my cheek and walking to where the other guys were waiting for him.

“Thanks for letting us still your little sister for our tour.” Craig said giving Matt a bro hug.

“Yea, no problem. Just don’t let her come back pregnant from this one.” Matt grumbled.

Craig creased his brow. “I know I have a kid and all, but you don’t have to worry about me impregnating your sister. I learned my lesson. No glove, no love, and I totally don’t see her that way.” Craig replied. “Well we should get going bye guys.” Craig said waving at everybody and walking out of the room, the rest of Escape the Fate following in suite.

“I should probably go home and start packing.” I said trying to get out of the dreaded conversation I was about to be forced to have.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Matt growled as the front door closed.

“We should probably go.” Emily said standing up and grabbing Zacky’s hand.

“We’re not going anywhere this is about to get good.” Zacky replied as he pulled Emily down onto his lap. Emily opened her mouth to protest but Zacky silenced her by covering her mouth with his hand.

“Max fucking Green?!” Matt yelled.

“Shh… you’re going to wake Jade.” I replied stepping away from Matt. His hazel eyes had turned to a dark green and his hands were shaking. I was honestly scared of my brother for the first time in my life.

“The one fucking guy I asked you to stay away from, that I told you was bad news, you go off and have a kid with! I knew you two were friends, but I thought you were smarter than that! He’s a drug addict Miranda! What on earth were you thinking?” He ranted as he paced across the living room. I just stood there quietly staring at my feet, not sure what to say, and afraid to tell him the truth. “Say something!” He demanded stopping in front of me grabbing me by the shoulders shaking me.

“What do you want me to say Matt. I didn’t tell you for a reason. I knew you would react like this. Yes I went against your word and fucked the one guy on tour that you told me to avoid, but it’s not like I did it intentionally to piss you off. It just, I don’t, I don’t know it just kind of happened.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“So what you tripped and fell on his dick?” Matt asked sarcastically venom dripping from his voice.

“No.” I replied rolling my eyes at his comment.

“Were you two sneaking around behind my back the whole tour?” He asked as he glared daggers at me.

“N…no” I stuttered trying to look anywhere but at my brothers face. If looks could kill I’d be dead.

“When?” He demanded.

“The last day of tour at the wrap party.” I admitted looking up at his face for a brief second before looking back down at my feet. I had never felt as horrible in my brief existence as I did now. The look on my brother’s face broke my heart. His face was a mixture of rage and betrayal.

“And that was the only time?” He pressed eyeing me suspiciously.

“No.” I replied crossing my arms over my chest.

“How long were you two together?” He growled as he clenched and unclenched his fist.

“About two months.” I answered honestly. I wanted so badly to tell him that yes the only time we had been together had been after the party, but I knew that lie would manage to somehow come back and bite me in the ass. If he had found out that I lied about dating Max for two months he would be crushed, and might not talk to me again. My brother wasn’t a person you wanted to cross.

The muscles rippled in his arms, the veins in his arms and neck started protruding, and his face was turning red. “Why didn’t you tell me? Were you on fucking drugs?” He yelled.

I looked down biting my lip and didn’t answer his question, hoping it was a rhetorical question.

“You were doing drugs?!” He yelled even louder. “Max Green turned my sister into a druggie!” He yelled in disbelief.

“Max didn’t turn me on to drugs I was doing them before I ever met him!” I said barely above a whisper.

“My baby sister is a fucking addict!” He yelled running his hands over his face.

“I’m not a fucking addict!” I yelled back defending myself. “I snorted coke on occasion it wasn’t an everyday thing, and I and I haven’t touched the shit since I found out I was pregnant.” I screamed taking a step towards him.

“For all I know you’re lying to me right now. I can’t even trust you anymore.” He roared taking a step towards me. We were now about two inches apart from each other. My 5’4 frame only coming up to his chest.

“Why the fuck would I be lying to you Mathew?” I screamed in his face.

“Oh I don’t know maybe the fact that you’ve been lying to me for the past 4 years.” He spat back.

“Oh go fuck yourself!” I screamed pushing against his chest. What happened next was something I would have never expected in a million years. He raised his large calloused hand and backhanded me across the face. We both stood there in shock over what just happened. I slowly raised my hand to my cheek and touched the place where he had just hit me.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry!” He gasped putting his hand on my shoulder causing me to flinch away in fear.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I growled spitting blood onto his floor.

“Oh sweetie your lip is busted.” Emily said running over to me as she glared daggers in Matt’s direction. “Let’s go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up."

“No shit my lip is busted I'm fucking bleeding.” I mumbled wiping blood off of my chin as I walked towards the bathroom Emily in tow.

“I’m so sorry Miranda!” Matt cried out following after us.

“Dude, just let her go. You both need some time to cool down.” Brian said grabbing Matt’s arm and trying to stop him.

“Let me fucking go! I need to tell her I’m sorry!” Matt said struggling to get out of Brian’s grasp.

“No you need to leave her alone. She’s not going to accept you apology anytime soon man. You just hit your sister because she told you what you’ve wanted to know for years now.” Zacky growled grabbing Matt’s other arm and helped Brian pull him back into the living room.

“How the fuck could you do that to her?” Jimmy yelled pushing Matt’s chest. “Huh? How could you do that to you sister?” Jimmy repeated lunging at Matt when he didn’t answer. Johnny jumped in between the two of them and tried to keep them apart.

“I… I don’t know. I didn’t mean to. It just happened.” Matt replied tears spilling from his eyes.

“Do you do that to Val when she says something you don’t like?” Jimmy roared.

“No!” Matt yelled defending himself. “I would never hurt her.” He whispered.

“Then why would you hurt your sister like that?” Jimmy demanded