Saviour

I looked up from the ground and over to Andy when I felt something wet drip onto my arm. I took a deep breath before looking at him, to see tears silently making their way down his cheeks.

“Why?” He asked looking up at me.

I sighed and looked back at the ground. I was too ashamed that Andy found out, and Amy for that matter. The first day we meet and she finds out her Son’s girlfriend self-harms. I was kind of hoping she would keep it to herself, but it’s understandable that she told him. Just now I have no idea what to say, I’m embarrassed.

“Lizzie, talk to me please?” Andy was now crouching in front of me crying.

I looked him in the eyes and started sobbing, flinging my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. I felt Andy move up onto the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around me. Bott of us just sat there, Andy didn’t speak anymore and I just continued sobbing.

By now I was crying so hard, that it was becoming difficult to breathe. I felt Andy try to pull away, so I tightened my grip on him, causing him to sigh.

“Lizzie, look at me.” He said.

I pulled away slowly and looked at him. He placed his hands on the top of my arms and looked me in the eyes.

“Calm down.” He said slowly. “Calm down and talk to me.”

Not once did he raise his voice, he was talking so quietly that it might as well of been considered a whisper, his grip on my arms stayed gentle, while he waited for me to calm down and talk. I stared at his chest the whole time, watching it rise up and down with every breath he took. I tried to control my breathing so it was the same as his before looking up at him.

“Lizzie, when was the last time you, y’know, h-hurt yourself?” Andy stuttered.

I looked away and tried to contain the tears. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him, it all of a sudden felt like some stranger was trying to know about my personal life.

I took a shaky breath before looking back up into his eyes, to see the plead in them. I didn’t need him to say anything to know he was going to beg me again to tell him.

“The-The last time I did it was when everything happened that day in the café.” I took another breath before continuing. “When Joe, his brother and mates caused all that trouble. When you and I argued, I felt like you never wanted to see me again, like you hated my guts and regretted helping me.”

I felt the tears building up in my eyes again, I tried blinking them away, but it didn’t work, they made their way down my cheeks and into my lap. I turned away from Andy, making him lose his grip on my arms. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing freely down my cheeks. I didn’t bother opening my eyes when I felt the bed move; I was too scared to see how Andy was feeling.

I jumped when I suddenly felt hands on my knees. I opened my eyes to see Andy back to kneeling in front of me.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

I looked at him confused. Oh god, he thinks all this is his fault.

“I-“

“No, let me finish.” He said cutting me off.

I sighed and nodded.

“I’m sorry I made you think that. I never meant to make you feel like that, my anger got the best of me. I’m sorry that I’m to blame for this.” He said pointing at my wrist.

“Andy, you’re not to blame.” I said.

“Don’t lie; I’m partly to blame aren’t I?”

“No!”

“Lizzie, you’re not that great of a liar, I can tell you’re not telling the truth.” Andy said.

I sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, you were.” I said quietly. “But it wasn’t all you. In fact, it wasn't so much what you said, it was more the fact that I thought you never wanted to see me again.”

We both just stared at each other, neither of us saying anything.

“Why do you do it, Lizzie?” Andy asked.

I shrugged.

“I guess over the last few years, it’s been my only way to deal with everything.” I sighed. “I mean, before now I had no one to talk to or anything.”

Andy sighed before leaning up and giving me a hug, kissing me on the top of my head.

“I’m so sorry, Lizzie.” Andy whispered.

“Why? There was nothing you could have done back then. You didn’t even know I existed then.” I said pulling out of the hug.

“I know, but I wish I did. I wish I could have met you sooner and helped you through all that shit.” Andy said.

“Andy, meeting you when I did was good enough for me.” I smiled slightly. “Have I even thanked you properly yet for saving my ass at the concert?”

Andy looked at, pretending to think, before looking back, smirking.

“Nope.” He smiled, shaking his head.

“Hmm, well I guess I should.”

I smiled at him before wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a kiss. Andy’s hands slowly made their way around my waist, pulling my closer to him. Before he had the chance of deepening the kiss I pulled away and smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

“You tease.” Andy glared before chuckling.

He moved himself off the floor before getting back on the bed and lying down. He motioned for me to lie down next to him. I crawled over to him and curled up to his side with my head resting on his chest as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“I want you to promise me one thing.” Andy said quietly.

“What?”

“The whole time I’m around, even when I’m on tour, that you’ll talk to me, even if it means calling me at ridiculous times in the morning. I want you to talk to me rather than turning to that razor blade.”

I looked up at him and sighed.

“It’s not that easy to suddenly stop.” I whispered.

“Lizzie, please. I want to know that you’ll talk to me if someone causes you any trouble. I want you to be able to tell me anything.”

I sighed and nodded.

“Okay.” I whispered.

“Sorry, what was that?” Andy asked.

“Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

I looked up at Andy to see a smile slowly making its way onto his prefect face.

“Okay, I promise.” I said.

He grinned before leaning down and kissing me.

“Good.”

We both just continued lying there. Me resting my head on Andy’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, while Andy laid there with one arm behind his head and the other around my shoulders, playing with my hair. I closed my eyes, feeling relaxed curled up into his side, his fingers running through my hair felt soothing. Just as I felt myself drifting off to sleep, Andy started talking again.

“You are going to be okay when I head over to Europe in a couple of weeks, right?”

I looked up at him and nodded.

“Of course, I have Hayley, Jen and the girls, plus I’ll be at work loads. They’re starting to get really busy.” I said.

Andy nodded, looking as if he was thinking.

“Okay. Well if you want a night to yourself, I can give you a key and you’re welcome to stay here. Mom and Dad will be here a bit, they like to check things are still in order while I’m away.”

“No Andy, its fine.” I said, sitting up.

“Alright, well I’ll give you my Mom and Dad’s number, so if anything happens and you can’t get hold of me, you’ll just need to call them.”

I groaned as I moved towards the edge of the bed.

“Andy, don’t you think you’re becoming just a bit too protective?” I questioned.

“Not really.” Andy said moving to sit next to me. “How can you expect me to not be protective after everything you’ve been through, and especially after what I saw today? Babe, I know you think I’m over reacting but you’ve got to see where I’m coming from. I won’t be here to help you, I’ll be across sea’s, it’s not like I’ll be able to just drive home from a show if something happens. Lizzie, I want the best for you, but I’m scared that while I’m gone your Dad’s going to try all sorts.” Andy said, looking slightly hurt.

“Sorry. I’m just not used to all the attention.”

Andy sighed and pulled me into a hug.

“I know. But you’ve got to realise, not everyone is like the fuckers at school, or those so called people who call themselves your family. You don’t need them anymore.” Andy said. “You have me, Hayley and the other girls. Also the rest of my band, they may not have met you much, but they sure as hell fucking love you. Forget the haters and just focus on the ones that care for you.”

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder.

“Thank you, Andy.” I said. “For everything.”

Just then the doorbell rang. I heard someone make their way towards the door, then a group of voices floating up the stairs. Andy sighed before stretching and standing up.

“Come on, it sounds like the guys are here, if we don’t get down there within the next five minutes they’ll come barging in here.”

I giggled and took hold of the hand Andy was holding out to me and made our way downstairs to greet the others.