Saviour

That night, once I calmed down, I sat down with Jon and we sorted out a time for me to get a flight home in the morning. We got the website up, and Jon put in all the details and got me a flight for 7am. It’s going to be an 11 hour flight, and knowing that I’ll have to go that long without any form of communication scares me. What if something was to happen to Lizzie while I’m on the plane? I wouldn’t find out until I’ve landed.

Right now, I was lying in my bunk, like I have been for the last 2 hours. My flight leaves in 5 hours and I haven’t been able to get any sleep what so ever. I sighed and turned onto my back and looked up at the bottom of the bunk above me that was empty. I groaned and sat up. If I can’t sleep now, I won’t get any now, I might as well just wait until I’m on the plane. I left my bunk and went out into the front lounge. I looked out the window to see we were parked and went back over to the little table the other side of the room and grabbed my phone, cigarettes and lighter before making my way off the bus.

I won’t lie, it was cold and I was out here in just my pyjama pants and no shirt, but right now that was the least of my worries. All I could think about was ’what could possibly be going on back home? I leant against the side of the bus and pulled a cigarette out of the packet and placed it between my lips, before lighting it an inhaling the smoke, letting it fill my lungs. I waited a few seconds before releasing the smoke and continued staring ahead of me, letting myself get lost in my own thoughts.

When I finished my first cigarette, I threw the end on the ground and stomped it out, before pulling another out and lighting it. I continued getting lost in my thoughts when I heard movement in the bus. I chose it ignore it and continued looking ahead, when the door to the bus opened. I looked around and saw Jinxx coming down the steps. He looked up at me and smiled slightly and handed me the jacket he was holding.

“Put this on, it’s freezing out.” He said, standing next to me.

I grabbed the jacket from him and slipped it on, before going back to staring a head. Silence fell over us both, neither of us finding it awkward. We both knew each other were worried about Lizzie, I mean she’s like a little sister to Jinxx.

“Everything will be alright, Andy. She’s a strong girl.” Jinxx said, finally breaking the silence.

“I know. I just don’t get it.” I sighed. “I thought I made it clear to that bastard to stay away from her, and Lizzie promised she would never harm again. Jinxx, what could he have possibly done to make her feel suicidal?” I asked.

“I have no idea. Anything is possible. He most likely used you being out of the country to his advantage.” Jinxx said. “Try not to worry too much though, Andy. I’m sure she won’t actually do anything and be back to normal when you get home.”

I shrugged. We stayed silent for a while, before making our way back onto the bus. I sat down on the couch while Jinxx went and got us both a drink. He handed one to me and sat down next to me, before taking a sip of his and placing it on the floor next to his feet.

“Do you know what someone said to me before the show last night?” I questioned, looking down at the mug in my hand.

“What?”

“A girl came up to me, asking where Lizzie was, at first I thought she was going to be one of those idiotic fan girls who would hate on her, but she actually wanted to meet her, Lizzie’s her idol. They said she’s an inspiration for being so strong after everything that’s happened.” I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. “I wish she was here to of heard that. She won’t believe me if I tell her when I get home, she’d think I’m using it to try and get her to back out of hurting herself.”

“She is an inspiration Andy, and she is strong.” Jinxx said. “And even though I’m not one for letting the media getting hold of our personal stories, I personally think, if she was to tell someone about what she went through, and for people to see her still living, being happy, then maybe others will have hope.”

“She’s not happy though, is she?” I said, fighting my tears.

“She is around you. Andy, you need to be strong for her, you’re what’s keeping her going.”

And just like that, I lost it. The tears came streaming down my face. It was all getting too much. Just a matter of months ago, my Grandpa passed away, and now knowing that my girlfriend wants to end her life just tips me over the edge.

“Andy, she’s going to be fine.” Jinxx said, placing a hand on my shoulder and sobs shook my body.

“This is all my fault.” I muttered.

“No it’s not. Don’t be silly.”

“It is. I shouldn’t have mentioned to her Dad that she told me what he’s done. He said, he fucking said he’d get her and now look. I knew I shouldn’t have left her behind.” I cried.

“Andy, don’t you fucking dare blame yourself. This is in no way your fault. It’s all his fault, he’s the one who thinks it’s okay to harm his children like that. Not you, you’ve done nothing but care for her, and Lizzie appreciates that. You can’t stop all this, your dream, to help her all the time, I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true, and if Lizzie was here right now, she’d agree.”
I said nothing and continued crying, when Jinxx spoke up again.

“Look, Andy. You have four hours until your flight leaves. Go back to bed and try and get a bit of rest before you need to leave.”

I looked at him and nodded and stood up. I made my way back to the bunk area and saw Jake getting out of his bunk. He looked up at me, confused as his eyes filled with worry.

“Andy?” He asked. “You alright?”

I nodded and just climbed into my bunk. I pulled the curtain across, and listened to Jinxx and Jake talking quietly among themselves. It wasn’t long until sleep overtook me, and brought me to a dreamless sleep.

**

What felt like, not even five minutes later, I was being woken up by Jinxx, telling me I need to get up to finish packing. I groaned and sat up, and grabbed the junk from the end of the bunk, before jumping out and throwing it into the suitcase the guys had opened on the floor.

I went round the bus, grabbing the last of my things, before carrying it into the front lounge, where everyone was sat. Upon me entering they all looked up and smiled at me sympathetically. I frowned and walked to the kitchen area and grabbed a bottle of water.

“You ready to get to the airport?” Jon asked.

I nodded, and double checked I had everything. I grabbed my sunglasses and placed them over my eyes before picking up my suitcase and making my way over to the door.

“Let us know when you land.” Ashley said.

I turned round and nodded.

“Give Lizzie our love.” Jinxx said.

I looked at him and nodded. He smiled slightly before going back to whatever he and CC were talking about.

I walked over to the taxi that was waiting and placed my suitcase in the back before Jon spoke to me quick, telling me that he’ll post on the bands accounts that the last couple of shows are cancelled and so on. I nodded and thanked him, before getting into the taxi and made my way to the airport.

When I arrived at the airport I went and checked in, gave them my luggage and was told what gate I’d have to go to and everything. Once I had everything sorted, I found somewhere quiet to sit and got my phone out, deciding to text Hayley and let her know that I would be boarding the plane in just over an hour and what time I’ll be landing.

Lizzie’s P.O.V.

I was sat, curled up on my bed, staring blankly at the wall, something that had become a daily routine. I’d wake up in the morning, leave my room to go to the bathroom, come back, stare out my window, even when nothing happened, moved back to my bed and stare blankly at the wall, leave my room, go and get a drink, come back up, add to my scars, curl up on my bed and watch the blood roll down my arm slightly, and then repeat all over again.

Also on a daily basis, Hayley would come into my room, trying to talk me out of this trance, occasionally her Mom would help. Jen ended up coming home earlier than planned, bringing Hayley’s Dad, Steve back with her. But neither of them managed to help me. They would continuously bring food to my room, in hope I’d eat it. I never did though. I didn’t see the point in it.

Right now, I was sat on my bed, staring at the wall when there was a knock on my door. I didn’t answer and waited for whomever to walk in. When they opened the door, Hayley stepped in, looking ready to go out somewhere.

“Mom and I are just off out for a little bit. Dad will be downstairs if you need anything.” She said.

I nodded and waited for her to leave.

I stayed seated, and kept a listen out for the car to leave. When it did, I rushed to my dresser and grabbed hold of the envelope that was sat on there, with my name scribbled on it. I knew the writing was my Dad’s.

I picked the envelope up with shaky hands and turned it round so I could open it. I pulled the piece of paper out and gasped.

’Remember, don’t tell anyone or I will kill you!’

I dropped the envelope on the floor and started breathing rapidly. I need to be gone before Andy gets back, otherwise he’ll get the truth out of me and my Dad will come after not only me, but Andy as well. I can’t let Andy get hurt because of me. I need to think of something fast to prevent this from happening. Tomorrow is Andy’s last show and then the guys leave Europe the day after.
I sat there a while longer thinking, before standing up and going downstairs in search of Steve.
When I entered the lounge, I saw him sat there, staring at the T.V. I coughed nervously, causing him to jump and turn around.

“Oh, hey Lizzie, how you feeling?” He asked.

I shrugged.

“I er, I was wondering if you had any pills to help you sleep at all? It’s just the last few weeks I haven’t slept well at all and I feel now would be a good idea while Hayley is out.” I said.

He nodded and stood up.

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

I nodded and stayed standing where I was, while he ran upstairs. I heard movement coming from the bathroom, before he came back down the stairs again, and handed me the bottle.

“Here, they’re ones we brought over the counter, but they work just as good.”

I nodded and took the bottle from him.

“Thank you.” I said.

Steve nodded and went back to sitting on the couch, while I went into the kitchen in search of a drink. I peeked round the doorframe and saw Steve’s eyes glued to the TV before going back into kitchen and searched the cupboards for some sort of strong drink. A few minutes later, I found a bottle of Vodka, stashed at the back and grabbed hold of it before making my way back up to my room.

Upon entering my room, I placed the drink and bottle of pills on my dresser before opening the door that contains my blade. I rolled my sleeves up and looked down at the once tanned skin that is covered in scars before pressing the edge of the blade to my arm and dragging it upwards. I watched as the blood made a trail down my arm, before switching the blade to the other hand and doing it to my other arm.

I sat there for a while, just staring at my arms in amusement as I slowly became dizzy from the blood loss, before standing back up. I picked the note from my Dad back up, and placed it on my bed, after I made it. As I placed the piece of paper on the covers, a drop of blood got on the cream sheets. I shrugged and went back over to my dresser and opened the bottle of Vodka and took a sip. I shook my head in disgust, not liking the taste. I wasn’t one for drinking. I then placed the bottle back down, before picking up the bottle of sleeping pills and emptying the contents into my hand. I stared at them, when I heard a car pulling up into the drive way.

I rushed to my window and looked out to see Hayley and Jen turning around, talking to someone in the back of the car. I went back over to the dresser and shoved the pills in my mouth before grabbing the bottle of Vodka and downed as much of it as possible. I slammed the bottle back on the dresser and moved into the middle of my room, and stood staring at the door. I could feel the room starting to spin while I could hear people talking downstairs. I recognised Hayley and Jen’s voices, along with Steve’s. But there was a fourth that sounded rather familiar.

It was quiet for a while, when I heard people running up the stairs. They stopped outside my room and started talking. I couldn’t understand anything that was being said. All I could hear was a buzzing sound. I could feel my legs starting to give way when my door opened slightly. I recognised Hayley poke her head around before she said something. The door opened more, revealing Andy. He looked in shook before looking from me to my bed. He picked the note up and looked back at me before rushing over just as I fell into a heap on the floor as my eyes rolled into the back of my head, causing darkness to overtake.