Wild Pitch

Camden looked up at the scoreboard in Tucson from his spot on the bench and shook his head. The Deserthawks were easily defeating the Grays; it was like his team wasn’t putting in any effort. He could only imagine what Gray would have to say once they got back.
“Attwater, you’re on deck!”
Letting out a deep breath, he grabbed for his batting helmet and his gloves. Once out of the dugout, he took a few practice swings. This pitcher was on fire; in the seven innings they had completed so far, only Monty had managed to connect one. He hit it out of the park, giving them their one run for the game. Every other inning had been three up, three down.
The last few innings were the same. When the final out was made, Camden sighed, packed up his equipment, and headed for the locker room. They had two more games to go in this series; if they all played out the same way, he was going to have to go back to Wichita with his tail between his legs.
His night didn’t improve when he got back to his hotel room, either. An urgent message from his father stopped him on his way to the shower and made him dial his home number right then and there.
“Hey, buddy,” his dad greeted. The older man sounded tired and worn down. Camden wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what his father had to say.
“Hey, Dad,” Camden replied. “I just got your message.”
“I figured you were on the field.” Daniel took a deep breath. “Well, I won’t beat around the bush. It isn’t good, son.”
Camden ran a hand over his face. “How bad?”
“We had to take her to the hospital this morning. The doctors think her heart will give out first, or maybe her lungs. She couldn’t catch her breath, and that’s when I took her in. We’re getting closer to the end, Camden.”
He didn’t know what to say. It was always going to come to this; it was always only going to get worse, not better. But Camden wasn’t ready for it to happen now. It occurred to him he would never be ready to lose his mother.
“Cam?”
“Yeah, Dad, sorry. So, what now?”
Daniel took another breath. “Home care. We could keep her in a hospital, but the doctors think she would be more comfortable at home. I’m going to start looking at home health care agencies here in town and we’ll go from there. She’s going to need a lot more care from here on out, and it is just more than you and I can do.”
“I understand,” Camden replied. And he did; the adult side of him knew that he and his dad could no longer be the only caretakers for his mother after this latest episode. The little boy in him, though, didn’t want to believe that his mother was ever going to leave him.
“Let’s just get her through this hospital stay,” Daniel finally said. “She’ll be here for a few days, probably. We’ll go from there.”
Camden agreed and bid his father good night. He would have to call his mother soon, but for now it was better that she rested. Times like this, he would normally call Elizabeth. That just wasn’t an option anymore. His mind immediately went to Gray, but their last conversation stopped him from dialing her, either.
So, he set the phone down and got in the shower. Usually the warm water would relax his tired muscles and release the tension from his shoulders, but only the anxiety of the team’s loss was gone from his mind by the time he shut off the water.
After pulling on clean, comfortable clothes, he laid back on the bed, one arm stretched behind his head. The phone tempted him from the nearby nightstand, but he felt wrong calling her. How could he tell her what he did then turn around and depend on her to ease his emotions about his mother dying?
Camden thought back to the night Gray had bailed him out of jail. When they sat in the stadium, eating pizza and sharing about their lives, she had made him feel … what was the word? Safe, perhaps. Comforted, definitely. He needed that now. As selfish as it might have been, Camden needed to talk to her.
After four rings, her voicemail picked up. He wasn’t sure if he should leave a message – still wasn’t sure he should have called her – but since he was already on the phone, he went ahead.
“Hey, Gray, it’s Camden. I’m sorry for calling … and calling so late … anyway, just got off the phone with my dad. My mom had to go into the hospital today, and it isn’t looking good. I know what we said the other night – what I said – but I just needed someone to talk to, and you’re my favorite sounding board, it seems.” He gave a weak chuckle, mentally slapping himself for such a stupid line. Then he sighed as a feeling of defeat came over him. “You don’t have to call me back. Joie probably right. I’m one mess you don’t need to get involved with. I’ll see you around, Gray.”
Tossing his phone back on the nightstand, Camden turned off the lights and turned on the television, hoping the background noise would lull him into some sort of sleep.

Gray had resolved to herself she wouldn’t answer any of Camden’s calls or messages. She was stupid to let herself even entertain the idea that Camden Attwater might be interested in her and to let herself build an interest in him. She hadn’t expected anything to happen quickly – but she hadn’t expected him to dismiss her so quickly, either. She knew he had nipped it in the bud for her benefit; she couldn’t even be mad at Joie for saying something to Camden. With Gray’s romantic track record, it really was best to just stay away from anyone in the middle of any type of distress.
Still, she couldn’t stop herself from listening to his voicemail. The words affected her deeply, and the tone in his voice made Gray’s heart break for Camden. Against her resolve, she dialed him back less than ten minutes after he had first called her.
“You really didn’t have to call back,” Camden told her when the call connected. He still sounded tired, but she could hear the relief in his statement.
She nodded to herself. “Yeah, well, that message didn’t sound so great.”
There was a moment of silence before he replied. “I’m sorry about that. I had just gotten off the phone with my dad and took a shower, thinking it would help with the stress, but it didn’t.”
“Are you with the team?”
“No, I’m in my hotel room. Got the TV on, hoping it’ll put me to sleep.”
Every word he spoke dripped with hurt. “I’m really sorry about your mom. Is there anything I can do?”
Camden shook his head, knowing she couldn’t see him. “No, but thanks. I knew this was coming. We’ve known for a while that this time was coming. I just didn’t think it would be now.”
“Even when you know it’s coming, that doesn’t make it any easier. I’ve worked with a lot of families in a similar position. People seem to be doing all right, till they’re not.”
“Yeah,” was all he could manage, and even that came out as nearly a whisper.
Gray sighed. “All right, Attwater. Tell me what’s really going on in that head of yours.”
“I don’t know,” he told her, and the both of them knew the floodgates were about to open. “Between my mom and Elizabeth, I just feel like everything’s falling apart. The team isn’t off to a real great start, and maybe I made the wrong decision coming back to Wichita. I mean, it would suck being away from my mom, but I’d be with my old team and Elizabeth and I … I don’t know why I’m even talking about that. I know that you know it isn’t about that.”
“You’re right, I do know,” Gray agreed. “It’s about your mom. I know that.”
“I’m not ready to let her go,” Camden said, his voice cracking. He swiped at the traitorous flow of tears that dripped slowly down his face. “I’m too young for this.”
“She’s sick, Camden,” Gray cooed. “You’ll never be ready for it. You’ll never want to let her go, even once she’s gone. Even if you were what you think is old enough. You have to be strong for her though, and in the meantime, when you need someone to lean on … well, you’ve got me, okay? I mean, I know I’m not your mom and I’m not your buddies, or your dad. But I’m here and I want to be your friend.”
“Thanks, Gray. I feel like after I said all that stuff –”
“Hey, don’t even worry about it. Can’t blame –”
Before Gray could finish her sentence, Camden heard another man’s voice in the background. “Am I interrupting something, Gray?”
“Uh, no, you’re not,” she replied without any trace of confidence. “I stepped away from a date to listen to your message, and he got worried, I guess, when I didn’t come back right away.”
Camden pursed his lips. “Go back to your date, McCarthy. You can tell me about it when I get back.”
The thought of seeing him again caused a smile to tug at the ends of her mouth. “All right. Call me again if you need to though, okay?”
“I will,” he promised. “Have a good night.”
“You too. Bye.” She disconnected the call and looked back to her date. “I’m sorry, Will. A friend in a need.”
“It’s all right,” Will smiled. “I was just worried. Still up for another drink?”
Gray smiled nodded. “Sure. Why not?”

The Wichita Grays picked things up through the rest of the series against the Deserthawks and went on to sweep the San Diego Sailors. Their winning record lifted Camden’s spirits, but only enough to where he was able to put on a good face for the fans and do his job on the field.
Once off the field, however, he didn’t bother hiding from his teammates that he just wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. His mother’s doctor had decided to keep her in the hospital for a few days longer as she wasn’t improving enough for him to be comfortable sending her home. That put a serious damper on Camden’s mood.
And, although it paled in comparison to how he felt about his mother’s declining health, Camden couldn’t stop the nagging thought in the back of his that almost constantly reminded him that Gray was seeing someone else. Wasn’t that what he wanted for her, though? And when in the few times they had interacted did it even begin to matter to him so much?
Gray called to check on him every day. Camden was too concerned about catching her when she was with this other guy to call her. He knew she probably figured as much, and that’s why she would call him. He didn’t mind; in fact, it eased the overwhelming feeling he had after he talked to his father every day and hopes of better news were dashed.
On the bus back to Wichita, Camden chose a seat by himself. He put in his earbuds and turned up the music on his music player. After a couple of hours, Monty dropped into the seat next to him and tugged one of the earbuds out of Camden’s ear.
“So what’s up with you, Attwater?” Monty asked. “Look, I know the thing with your mom is really bad. I get that. But we’re all worried about you, man.”
Camden turned off the player and took out the other earbud. “I know. I’m sorry, Ramirez. Never thought it would hit me this hard.”
“If you need to take some time off, I’m sure the GM –”
“No,” Camden interrupted him, shaking his head in earnest. “Absolutely not. Baseball’s the only thing that keeps my head straight. I’m just – I’m trying to keep it straight. If I take off from baseball, it’s only going to get worse.”
“Fair enough,” Monty shrugged. He seemed to hesitate briefly before making his next statement. “It seems like talking to Gray McCarthy doesn’t hurt things either.”
Camden shrugged. “She’s just being a friend.”
“You guys are talking every day,” Monty noted. “The only time you’re not tense is on the field or when you’re talking to her.”
“It’s really not like that,” Camden assured him. “Gray’s seeing someone else. We hit it off and we get along. She’s a nurse, so she’s just helping me through this stuff with my mom.”
“So it doesn’t bother you that she’s seeing someone else?”
He shrugged again. “It is what it is, man.”
Monty nodded. “All right. Well, keep your chin up, dude. Things’ll work out.”
Camden thanked his teammate, then started his music player again. Wichita wouldn’t come soon enough.

Gray let out a deep breath and tried to hide her smile as she unlocked the door and stepped into the house. She quietly set her purse on the couch and slipped out of her shoes before tiptoeing to her room.
“Not so fast,” she heard from Joie’s room. “You’re not going to bed without giving me details.”
She allowed that smile to break through, dropped her shoes in her room and then headed back for Joie’s room. She plopped herself on the bed next to Joie and shrugged. “He kissed me.”
Joie squealed. “Oh, I knew it! I can’t believe he waited a week even. There were sparks between you two the minute you met.”
Gray giggled. “Yeah, I guess I kind of like him.”
“Kind of? Gray, who are you trying to kid?”
She smiled and shrugged again. She wasn’t trying to kid anyone; Will was nearly perfection as far as guys came. Owned his own house, had a steady job in computers, and they shared many common interests. The connection she wanted to have with someone in a relationship just wasn’t there. He doted on her though and he didn’t have any drama in his life – and Gray needed to see what a relationship was like when someone didn’t need her to be a babysitter.
“I’m going to bed,” Gray announced. “See you in the morning.”
Joie bid her good night, and Gray headed for her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She hung up the dress she had worn to see Will that evening and slipped into some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. She turned off the lights and snuggled into her bed. She let out a deep breath and dialed Camden.
“Hey you,” he greeted with a raspy voice.
“Hey,” she replied softly. “Did I wake you up?”
“Yeah, but it’s okay. We’re on the bus back to Wichita, so it wasn’t the greatest sleep anyway. You all right?”
“I was calling to ask you that, actually.”
Camden sighed. “Well, let’s talk about you for once.”
“I’m fine,” Gray replied. “Just got home.”
“Another date,” Camden surmised. “Things must be going well with … what’s his name?”
“Will. His name is Will.”
Camden frowned. “You don’t sound so excited about it, Gray.”
She took a deep breath. “He’s a great guy. He’s got his own house and a steady paycheck and no drama. I don’t know. Just doesn’t feel like it’s there … whatever it is, I guess.”
“Just because he’s got it together, doesn’t mean he’s the only guy who has it together,” Camden told her. “There’s got to be more than one of them out there. You’ll find the right one, and when you do, you’ll know.”
Gray pursed her lips and hesitated before asking her next question. “Did you know, when you were with Elizabeth?” Then, she quickly added, “You don’t have to answer that. I was just wondering.”
“No, it’s fine.” Camden didn’t know how to tell her, but opening up to Gray was always easy. “I knew Elizabeth was great when I met her, and that there was potential for something great. I took that and ran with it, I guess.”
“That gives me some things to think about. Thanks, Camden.”
He smiled to himself. “Not a problem, Gray. Hey, who would have thought that a couple trips to jail would lead to anything like this?”
“Not me,” she laughed. “Have a safe rest of your trip home. I’ll see you at the next game.”
“If I don’t see you I’m sure I’ll hear you,” he teased. “Good night, Gray.”
“Night, Camden.” She disconnected the call, plugged her phone into the charger, and settled back to sleep, feeling much less tense than she had after her conversation with Joie.

The Attleboro Nor’easters may not have come from a big town, but that didn’t mean they didn’t offer a big challenge to the Wichita Grays. At the top of the seventh inning, neither team had scored, and tensions were high.
Blake Reynolds was up at bat and ready to knock one out of the park. Attleboro’s pitcher was tiring out though, and walked Blake to first in just four pitches.
“Come on!” Gray yelled from the stands. “Play the game or give the mound to someone else!”
Camden chuckled from his seat in the bleachers and nudged Monty sitting next to him. “Hey, at least she isn’t yelling at us.”
“Yeah, for now,” Monty joked, picking up his gloves and batting helmet as the next batter was also walked. “This kid is going to walk us to a win if he keeps this up.”
With Monty on deck, Camden gathered his batting helmet and gloves and picked up a bat. He waited just at the entrance of the dugout. He turned around to glance at Gray – something he shouldn’t have done for so many reasons – but the main reason this time being that she wasn’t sitting alone anymore. The man sitting with her struck a nerve in Camden not only by his very presence, but by the significant resemblance the man bore to one of Camden’s teammates.
“Hey Ramirez,” Camden called. Monty glanced back at the game – Attleboro was finally switching out pitchers – and joined Camden at the dugout.
“What’s up, man?”
“You know that guy sitting with Gray? He kind of looks like you.”
Monty nodded. “Yeah, man. That’s my cousin, Will. The one I told you went to school with her. Joie asked me if I knew anybody who might be a good match with Gray, and the two of us set it up.”
“Wait, you set her up with somebody?” Camden frowned. “What the hell, Ramirez?”
“Dude, we’re in the middle of a game,” Monty cautioned. “Let’s take care of this later.”
Camden rolled his eyes and set his jaw. “No, it’s fine. I’m done talking about it.”
The umpire called for the game to resume, and Monty stepped up to the plate. The new pitcher was en pointe and struck Monty out in three easy pitches. Camden walked past his teammate without looking at him, but made sure their shoulders bumped as they walked by each other.
“Come on, Attwater! Get your head in the game!” the coach yelled from the dugout.
Camden nodded as he took his place in the batter’s box, squared up, and waited for the pitch.

“Take a deep breath and wait for it,” Gray yelled from the stands. “You’ve got this, Attwater!”
Camden squared up again and she could see him let out a deep breath. The next pitch was a ball; Gray was on the edge of her seat with this one.
“Relax,” Will told her. “Monty says Attwater is a great player – in the outfield and at the plate. He’ll at least have a base hit.”
“But he’s tense now,” Gray argued. “His head isn’t in the game and he’s going to let that distract him.”
“What do you think that was about anyway?”
Gray didn’t answer right away. The next pitch was thrown and it though it sailed slow, the ball finally made its way over the left field wall, just inside the foul line. Camden’s home run brought in the two runners on base, giving the Grays a 3-0 lead.
When Camden made his way back to the dugout, he high-fived every one of his teammates waiting for him, except for Monty. Gray let out a deep breath and sat back down from cheering.
“To answer your question,” she told Will, “I’m going to guess that Camden just found out that Monty set us up.”
“Why is that a big deal?” Will asked.
Gray shrugged and took a big gulp of her beer. She could only think of one answer to that question, and she didn’t think Will would like it.

Even though they won, Camden’s mood was still horrible when they made it into the locker room. He sat down long enough to listen to the coach’s postgame spiel, then was the first one into the showers. He took his time washing up and didn’t look at or talk to anyone while he dressed back at his locker. He was searching for his shirt when Monty approached him.
“Look, Camden, I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t know you were that into her. You told me that you told Gray it wasn’t a good idea for you two to pursue anything.”
“Leave it alone, Ramirez,” Camden grumbled. “I overreacted, let’s leave it at that.”
“No, I’m not going to leave it at that,” Monty pressured. “You have to talk to me about this. You can’t just keep bottled up like everything else, man!”
“I don’t,” Camden snapped back. “I don’t keep it bottled up. I talk to her about it.”
He found his shirt and pulled it over his head, shouldered his bag, and left the locker room, leaving his teammates in the wake of his anger. When he made it out to his truck, the first and last person he wanted to see was leaned against the driver’s side door, waiting for him to come out of the locker room.
“Good game,” Gray commented as he threw his bag in the bed of his truck. “Although I thought for a second you were take Monty’s head off.”
“With good reason,” Camden mumbled, unlocking the truck.
“Not true,” Gray argued, reaching for his arm so that she had his undivided attention. “Tell me the truth, Camden.”
He looked around and shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do,” Gray nodded. “There’s no one out here, just me and you. Now tell me the truth.”
“It’s selfish,” Camden whispered, heaving a sigh. “I know what I said, Gray. I said I’m a mess, but I still want you to be my friend. I can tell you things, and you don’t get that pitying look in your eye or tone in your voice. If you’re dating someone though, I can’t ask for that. That’ll only cause trouble.”
Gray swallowed. “I told you that I want to be your friend, and there’s no guy that can change that. I’m going to be here for you.”
Camden nodded. “Guess it’s a good thing we got arrested that weekend.”
Gray laughed. “You’ve got to stop making jailbird jokes. Some people are just meant to be in our lives. Maybe not always the way we think, is all.”
“I think you’re right about that,” Camden replied. “You need a ride home? Or is … Will waiting for you?”
“You could try not to wince when you say his name,” Gray replied. “He isn’t waiting, but I wouldn’t mind a ride to my car.”
“Deal.”
Gray bid him a quiet goodnight when he pulled up next to her car and made him promise to make amends with Monty before the game the next day. Camden made sure she got safely out of the parking lot, then directed his truck for home.