It's Time to Be Happy Again

When the texts finally stopped with Dace recommending I get some sleep, I couldn't help but feel a little disheartened, regardless of how true it was that I needed some rest. Settling down on the soft mattress I shut my eyes tightly willing sleep to find me.

Through the darkness I could hear Naomi's soft breathing, rhythmically lulling me to sleep. Every thing was so quiet and at peace, but even as I slipped away my mind was buzzing with our conversation. Running over every word and emoticon in my head. Eventually though, there was just black.

"August..."

I didn't stir, I didn't want to wake.

"August..."

The voice was so small.

"Auggie!"

I shot up, my brain finally realizing it was Naomi calling my name, she sounded distressed. My eyes darted across the room searching for my sister, ready to find her in tears, hurt, unimaginable things that made my heart ache in the millisecond it took me to find the small girl standing in the door way with a large smile and then the feeling of disappeared and there was just an overwhelming feeling of fatigue.

"Auggie, we're going to be late for school!" She was already dressed, even wrapped up in her purple pea coat, back pack fitted snugly across her shoulders.

I was quick to my feet throwing on slippers, not bothering to change out of the sweat and shirt I'd dozed off in, and grabbing bunched up wrinkled work clothes, that really could use a wash, off the floor, before running out the door. Naomi following close behind a giggling at her brother who was leaving the house disheveled and unkempt while she trotted behind hair and teeth brushed, clothes tidy, and belly full of the delicious breakfast that teased my nose as I blew through the kitchen.

Her amusement is mirrored by April who waits for us in the car, engine running, heaters on full blast.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, my tone more hostile than intended.

"Cause you need your sleep, and because someone got to sleep a lot later than usual last night." She informs me with a knowing smile.

"Well, I was distracted."

"I know."

"It's not like that." I tell her, lacking proper conviction behind my listless voice.

"Not like what?" Naomi pipes up from the back seat.

"It's nothing Naomi you need to worry your pretty little head about, August and I are just talking about some adult matters."

I don't miss the wink she sends me.

"Oh." Naomi sounds a little hurt she doesn't like being left out our conversations, I smile at her apologetically.

The car falls quiet and I hope that means the subject is dropped.

"It would be nice you know." April says breaking the silence and my hopes, "For you to meet someone."

"I don't have time, all I can do is work, and take care of Naomi."

"Which is more than someone your age should be responsible for."

She just doesn't get it does she? I have to do this. I'm not like her I don't get to choose my responsibilities, I don't have parents to fall back on and I have a child depending on me, a relationship is something I can't really think about, hell I can't even think about going out with friends, not that I have any besides April in this town.

"Well I don't have a choice do I?" I raise my voice a bit more than I mean to, and I can tell it shocks both the girls in the car. From the back seat I hear Naomi whimper.

April takes an unexpected right turn and before I know it we're in front my work, rather then Naomi's school.

"I'm sorry Mimi, I love you." I muttered out ashamed as I slip out of the passenger side. I can feel April's deadlocked glare on the back of my head the whole way up the steps.

Dear god I feel like dying, I'm just so tired and all I'm doing is messing everything up.

I don't even bother to text Dace, it feels like a selfish act, I need to focus on my work, providing a good home from Naomi, not some stupid crush.

I try to forget the morning and just get and many tips as i can. I try to work out a budget in my head that will help me buy a car, get my own place, and keep Naomi from wanting anything.

It was a good strategy for keeping my mind busy. That is, until later in the day, when my own stupid crush walked through the door.

I unintentionally let out a groan, though I don't think, and hope he didn't notice. Throwing on a fake smile, I made my way to Dace's table.

"What can I get you?"

"Didn't see you at school this morning." He remarks, I watch his eyes scrap across me, taking in my still disheveled hair, and searching, for I assume, an explanation.

"Yeah, well I'm a busy guy." It's a snark comment and I know it.

"Too busy to give your sister the time of day."

Shit, he has me pinned. I flinch just slightly, remembering the events of the morning.

I let out a long heavy sigh, "No, but I really can't get into it, what can I get you to eat."

"Biscuits and gravy and some hot chocolate." He replies with a smile.

I nod before hurrying off to get his order, begging one of my fellow waiters to take it out, I can't bear to go back and face him, lord only know how hard it will be to go home tonight.

I'm surprised though, when almost all the other customers have left, my shift is nearing a close, and Dace had to have finished his food at least an hour ago, to find him still sitting at the table, grading spelling worksheets.

"You're still here?"

"Mmhmm." He replies, a sort of noncommittal noise that doesn't even warrant a glance in my direction.

"Waiting for me?"

"Mmhmm." Now his eyes meet mine, "Sit down."

I do as instructed, my palms immediately becoming sweating, nerves wracking over what might or might not happen, but he just sits there. A patient half smile on his face, and waits for me to feel comfortable enough to speak.

Finally I do, I tell him about the whole morning, and how much pressure I feel under to be the perfect responsible adult when I've really only been an adult myself for less than a year. Feeling like the weight of it all is crushing me and I have no one to really help me shoulder it, and when I finish my long drawn out explanation, he responds in a simple way that speaks more and comforts me more then words ever could.

He holds my hand.