The One for Me

A pale boy hovered over me, eyes narrowed in to slits as he smacked the side of my face harshly. “Wake up!” he shouted. I groaned and a satisfied smile curled on his plumped lips. Why had he looked so familiar?

“Who are you?” I asked. It came out in a raspy whisper. My throat burned as the boy lifted me so that I was sitting up on the bed.

“I’m Taemin,” he replied anxiously. “Come on… Key and Hana are in the study!”

I allowed him to scoot me off of the bed and wrap my arm around his shoulder. He practically dragged me out of my bedroom. My guards shot up from their positions and motioned for them to not interfere with a firm hand. Taemin pressed me against the slightly ajar study door. We listened to the heated conversation with earnest.

“How dare you not tell me he was sick?” Key hissed. I could imagine the frown on his face, his arms crossed over his chest, and his bow lips set in a firm line.

“I told you I didn’t want you involved in our lives anymore,” Hana-ssi replied calmly. I could imagine her serene face. Her voice was timid, like she was trying to keep their conversation a secret.

Key scoffed. “You have no right to tell me what I should do! If I want to see Jonghyun I am allowed.”

“No you’re not,” Hana-ssi spat. I was shocked at the sudden change of mood. I could feel the tension rising from the study in to the hall. “He is marrying me! Not you. You’re nothing to him and you’re nothing to this kingdom… I am. If we don’t marry this entire country will get demolished, and you’ll go down with it.”

“Liar, I can tell you’re lying right through your crooked teeth!”

Hana-ssi gasped and I heard a loud smack. I almost bursted inside but Taemin gripped my arm. “Pay attention,” he growled.

What was this? Some trick against Hana. She was only speaking out of spite, out of anger. “How do you think Jonghyun will feel to know that you’re trying to poison him?”

“He does know,” she replied. I could hear a faint cluck and I guessed she was making noises with her tongue. “And he doesn’t believe you does he?” It was silent and I could almost see the rage shaking Kibum’s body. “I’m perfect and you… well your just his toy. He screwed you. And you liked it, and you thought he was going to give up being prince to be with you didn’t you? You believed everything he said right to the last I love you.”

“He does love me,” Key hissed. I could imagine the smirk slowly creeping over his face. “And you know that. That’s why you threatened us because you want to marry him so you can kill him off and have the kingdom to rule yourself isn’t that right? I’ve figured out your game you little bitch and I am pretty sure everyone will see what I see.”

Hana scoffed. “And what’s that?”

“A liar,” Taemin grinned as he stepped inside. I sat on the floor to engrossed in what I heard to move. Hana-ssi was going to kill me? And she didn’t deny it to Key once. I tried to rationalize this conversation. She was only angry she didn’t really want to kill me. She liked me. She said it herself.

”I’m so glad I get to marry you Oppa! I like you a lot,” she giggled. We held hands as we walked the halls of the castle. It was the night she got back from her trip out of town. “I may even love you.”

“Oh I’m so scared!” Hana snapped. “I’ll have you both killed for threatening the Queen.”
I snapped my fingers to my guards. “Get me back in bed,” I whispered. They obliged without protest and settled me back in to the soft sheets of my bed.

I laid down and closed my eyes but they snapped open once Hana entered my room in haste. She looked relieved for some reason. Maybe they told her I was outside the door and she wanted to be sure I wasn’t. But I had heard it all. And there was nothing I could say to make it okay.

*********

“The wedding is in two days Jonghyun… we moved it up,” my father sighed. “Couldn’t you try to get better?”

“Am I going to die?” I asked. It was the tenth time I asked and he stilled evaded the question with ease.

“You don’t look as pale so that is a good sign,” he grinned. “Your mother would be so much better at making sure you were better on time.”

“Am I going to die?” I repeated impatiently.

“I miss her so much,” he mumbled. His hair looked a bit grayed at the roots. Wasn’t it just yesterday that he seemed so young that he could be mistaken for my brother? Why did he look so old now?

“She would tell me the truth,” I spat. “She wouldn’t avoid my questions or tell me I’m okay when I’m not! I have been stuck in this bed forever!”

“Hana’s dress is amazing!” he continued. “I think she looks really good in white.”

“I hate you!” I screamed.

“Kyun has been dismissed… he had to see to some family issues in Japan,” my father shrugged. “I don’t think he’ll be back in time for the wedding.”

“Dad,” I sighed. I was tired of getting his attention.

“I think we should give you more herbs to make sure your better.”

“Dad!”

“I think we could get some-“

“Damn-it! Dad!” I shouted. He glanced at my hands and then averted his gaze. “Am I going to die?”

He was quiet. And for some reason his answer was already plain and clear. He wouldn’t look at me and I started to think he was just going to ignore me completely. “No.” He smiled and met my eyes for the first time since walking in my room.

“You’re a terrible liar,” I sighed giving him a soft smile.

“Well your mother was a good one,” he mumbled. I could tell it was only meant for him to hear. He cleared his throat and continued. “Well today? You’re not going to die and not tomorrow but one day yes… everyone has their time,” he babbled. “When you die, it will be after a long loving life with your one and only love.”

He left the room and I was confused. Was he telling me to go after the one I loved? Meaning Key? Because he was the only one I loved for sure. Yes I still had conflicting emotions over Hana but she was nothing compared to the electric that flowed through mine and Key’s body.

Kyun had family in Japan? But he wasn’t from Japan. I shook the thought from my head and sighed. It was all too much. The wedding, Key, my father and Hana. It was just too much. How could I deal with so much stress? I noticed that there was a small folded note at the end of my bed. My father must have left it there. I snatched and it and opened it eagerly. I had never snooped through his letters before, so I felt excited.

That is until I read it.

Jonghyun,

If you are reading this then that means that I’m gone. I’m sorry that you and your father have to suffer because of me but it’s what I had to do. I’m in love with someone else. He is very good to me and I have committed a crime against my husband that would surely get me killed. Infidelity is a terrible thing and I don’t want you to follow in my footsteps. I only wish that I had followed my heart when I had the chance to. He’s a noble and he is my first and only love. I love your father to just not in the same way. And I love you. Don’t worry, I am not writing this to tell you your father is someone else. Onew Lee is your father and always will be. I’m not telling you this so that you can feel some relief. I leave in a carriage tonight with the man I love. And I hope you take this lesson and learn from it. I never told your father this but my parents forced me to marry him. I didn’t want to. They knew I loved a noble, and he was a married man with a son of his own. But our feelings were stronger than the love for our spouses and so we are running away together. You may get sick often and you may feel like you’re alone, but I’m with you always. The reason you are so sick is because you were born prematurely. Your father and I are the only ones who know. But you were born sick and I was scared you would die. I am still scared. You can catch a cold easily and I’m sorry for that. I feel it is my fault for not taking better care of you in the womb. If you ever came in contact with something serious, you would surely die. Which is why you stayed by my side at all times. But now I’m gone and I want you to be careful. I’m sorry for your suffering and if you read this and hate me I’m okay with that. But I’m never too far away.

Your mother.

I stared at the letter for hours. By the time I realized I had cried so much that I could create a river it was dark outside and the cool air was chilling my skin. She left with her true love and died with him in a carriage accident.

“I-I lost my dad…my mom never wants to talk about it.” Key’s voice rang in my ears.

It was just that first night that we met each other face to face that he told me about losing his dad. And I lost my mom. And our parents were together in the same carriage. My mother and Key’s father were each other’s first love. How ironic and creepy it was to think about all at once. I scurried out of bed and grabbed some paper. I began writing Key a letter. He had to read this. Of course this would determine if I married Hana or not. And it would determine whether Key and I were meant to be.