Heartbreak Warfare

Laur90210: Why does every moment have to be so hard?
NickJonas: Only because you make it @Laur90210, sorry to crash your fantasy.
Laur90210:@NickJonas Fuck off and get your own life.

I should not have come tonight. This was pushing my luck and I know it. I already had a text book definition of a girl’s great night; I had a date with a cute boy who ended up being extremely nice and kissed me. This was pushing my luck expecting things to go well tonight at the party, especially because Nick was going to be there.

“It’s freezing out,” came out of my mouth as soon as we stepped out onto the quad. “Should have worn more clothes,” Nick said and I rolled my eyes. He had been making comments about my outfit since he first saw it. “Hey, I’m wearing the same dress!” Kate squeaked in defense, she was but different colors. “Yea, but see, Lauren has those long legs. So her dress is way shorter. Yours fits perfectly!” He said to her and Kate blushed,

actually blushed!

I pretended like it didn’t get to me, why give him the satisfaction? He nowhere near deserved it.

“There’s a lot of people here.” Nick said as the taxi rolled to a stop in front of the clearly crowded house. Thing was, the cops knew this house was a party house, they knew they could bust so many kids at this party, but they also know there is absolutely nothing else for us to do and they have hearts for the bored college kids, surprisingly.

“It’s always crowded here, the cops stay away.” Shelby informed him as I walked ahead with Kate linking arms. We had pre-gamed before leaving the dorm building and right now we were ready to further our buzz. “Hey ladies! Jungle Juice is in the kitchen!” “We know Bobby!” I shouted over our shoulders and he winked at me. “He’s a creep.” Kate said as we reached the large tub. “Yea but he’s nice.” I said shrugging. “Um, because he’s a creep who wants to get into your pants.” Shelby added coming up from behind us. “Oh shut up, he does not.” “Who wants in your pants?” Nick asked coming up with a different colored cup. His was blue, all guys got blue. Jordan, the kid who lived here walked around with the blue cups so guys would have to pay. If they didn’t pay, they didn’t get a cup. Girls drank free and got their cups from the kid by the jungle juice and it was always black. “Bobby Sandago. He is 100 percent creep and 100 percent into Laur.” “So you’re attracting creeps now?” He asked amused. “Think what you want.” I said shrugging. I didn’t care if he thought I got no ass. I didn’t need to impress him.

At least that’s what I had been telling myself the whole time getting ready and the ride over to the party. But with three cups of jungle juice down, plus the three shots from the dorm room, I was starting to think otherwise.

I talked with anyone who came up, I laughed with the cute guys and gave my number out more than I should have. I danced closely with guys when Nick would look over and made sure he saw me take big gulps of my drink. Something always bothered Nick about me drinking, but he never admitted to it because he drank to. I always just put it off to him caring too much.

The night was going by pretty fast. It seemed as though every girl in the room was next to Nick, which I had fully expected. I had also expected he would ignore me though, like I had been with him all night. But every time he’d break away from a group of girls or see me by myself getting a drink he’d call out to me, wave, or do anything to get my attention. I would look, silently curse at myself for looking and then quickly look away.

It was close to two and I was starting to get a little, well bored. I looked for Shelby or Kate to go back with but both were very busy with a couple of boys. I didn’t want to tear them away from them. I groaned. I knew I couldn’t go back alone because I wouldn’t make the walk and honestly, I forgot my wallet at the dorm and had given Shelby my cash for the taxi. I tilted my head back and downed the rest of my drink before coming to the conclusion there was only one last person I could ask.

I made my way across the crowded kitchen and into the hallway. I spotted his curly hair by the bathroom and squeezed my way through. I heard people protesting that I was “cutting” in line for the bathroom but I ignored them. I finally reached Nick just as he was about to reach the handle for the door.

“Nick” I called and he whipped around quickly. “Hey Laur!” He was drunk. He always got either very chipper or very bitter when he was drunk, and he was definitely chipper. “Yea hey. So when were you thinking of heading back?” “After I use the bathroom. Why wanna come back with me?” He asked cocking an eyebrow. I groaned in my mind before admitting, “Um yea, no one else to walk with.”

“Hey kid you’re holding up the line!” Some random guy shouted from behind us. “I’ll meet you at the front door.” I said quickly. He nodded and I turned around. “Lauren! Leaving so soon??” Bobby asked as I was reaching for my coat. “Yea Bobby, I’m a little too tired.” I said with a smile. “Well, you know you’re welcomed into my bed upstairs. Here let’s go on up.” He said grabbing my arm. “Um, you know Bobby, I don’t-“ “Oh come on, seriously let’s just go up.” He said starting to pull me towards the stairs. “Bobby, seriously, No thank you!” I said stronger and pulling myself back. “Laur, no need to play hard to get, come on!” He said pulling again. “Bob-“ “Dude, she said no.” I heard from behind me. “She’s just kidding.” Bobby said. “No, she wasn’t. Let go.” Nick said grabbing my hand from him and holding it himself. “Whatever. I’ll just go get a girl from downstairs.” “You do that.” Nick said and I pulled my hand from him and made a b line for the door.

“Laur!” Was shouted for the tenth time. “Come on the least you can do is walk with me after I just saved you from the dick!” He shouted reaching me. “I was perfectly fine handling that myself Nick!” I shouted back at him. “Oh right, that’s why he had you halfway up the stairs.” “Fuck you Nick. I was fine without you. It’s not like I haven’t been in the position before!” I shouted at him. “Laur,” He said in a calm tone stopping. “What!?” I shouted back. I could see my breath in the cold air and we weren’t even about halfway to the dorm. “Nothing has, like happened to you here, has it?” He asked. I could see the nervousness in his eyes. “No Nick. I haven’t been raped because I can say no, I can take care of myself!” I said to him starting to walk again.

“Laur why, why are you acting like this?” He asked and I snapped my head into his direction. “What do you mean?” I asked narrowing my eyes. He laughed his Jonas laugh that I had recently taught myself to hate. I rolled my eyes and kept walking, refusing to stop again. “You honestly don’t see it?” He asked, “See what!?” I asked annoyed. He’s starting to piss me off. “You’ve changed so much within the, what few weeks we were apart?” “We’ve been apart for five months Nick. Five.” “Really?” He asked thinking about it. “And I haven’t changed one bit, so fuck off.” I said “Right there is a perfect example, you used to never say fuck, you used to never drink so much you’d black out, you used to never wear so much make up or dress so, so, so..” “So what Nick? Go ahead and say it, you think I’ve become the ultimate slut since I’ve left you!” I shouted at him. “I never said that Lauren, stop being so freaking dramatic. That is one thing I don’t miss.” He said and I had to bite my lip to keep myself from listing the things I don’t miss about him. “One thing you don’t miss.” I repeated finally, letting it register in my drunken mind.

“You’ve changed.” He stated again as we reached the top of the hill, our dorm is at the bottom.

“You know what Nick, maybe I have changed. When we broke up, I never even looked back. I know you were expecting me to because that’s what I always did. I felt your eyes on the back of my head when I didn't turn around that day on the beach, but there was no way I was going back to you again. So I've changed. In fact, you have yourself to blame for that. I swore to myself I would get as far away as possible from not only you but from everything that reminded me of those three years of my life. I never wanted to think of you again I didn't need to see your stupid, lying, smiling face another time so I got on a fucking plane and left. And you know what fucking sucks the most Nick? That you get California. You get the ocean, the sand, the boardwalk, the greatest boutique in the world, the cheapest place for gas, the greatest library, the worst place to fish, AND YOU GET ALL MY MEMORIES. So you know what Nick, enjoy them all because I don’t want them anymore because you’ve contaminated everything!” My drunken speech lasted the whole rest of the way home.

“Laur, you know you didn’t have to fly across the country.” “What?” I asked. What is he talking about? I gave him all that and that is the only response?!

“La, why did you do it?” He asked and I knew what he meant, why did I end things that day. “Nick, you were always gone.” I said using the text book excuse. “That’s not fair and you know it. We lasted three whole years and you never once complained and I asked you to come with me!” He said back as we reached the doors. “Nick I wanted to go to school. I couldn’t just not go to college like you.” “Am I not at college with you right now?!” “You know I for once wanted to be without you Nick and you couldn’t let me be!” I said climbing the stairs.

“I couldn’t let you out here alone! You’re across the country, away from everything you’ve grown up with!” He said from beside me, climbing the stairs almost in a race. “That was the point! I am me, you are you! Nick get your own life and get out of mine, please.” I begged as we reached the third floor.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just not know someone who was my life for three years. I’m here La for four years. Just like you, so get used to seeing me around, neighbor.” He said going into his own room as I opened my door. He slammed his door shut on me.