Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

I'm currently delivering one of the best performances of my life. Well, it's my only performance - but it's going without a hitch. I hold in my pride as my character and I become molded together. We are one. I know that in this moment, I'm proving myself to both the people who believed in me and the people who shot me down. Nothing could be better.

"Sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would I want to be anywhere else?" Suddenly music becomes audible to everyone. It breaks my concentration as I look around for the source. Some idiot is playing Lily Allen's song "LDN" too loud and they're going to pay for ruining this moment.

The song keeps repeating itself, only playing the chorus. "Shut up!" I yell.

I woke up from my recurring dream, still hearing that damn music. I grumbled nonsense before rolling over in the mess of blankets and pillows, reaching around blindly for my phone. I squinted at the bright screen to see that my best friend Jenny was calling me.

"What?"

"I knew you'd be asleep."

"Yes, Jenny, you know me well." I yawned dramatically for her benefit.

"Sorreh," She said in a mock British accent. "But you really need to go on IMDB right now."

"I need to? I highly doubt-"

"Yes, Grace, you need to. I know it's against your rules or whatever to look at it, but it's the day of your first reading. You've gotta see who's playing Sam."

I groaned, putting the phone on speaker and throwing it on the fluffy white comforter. I reached for my laptop on the ground where I had left it the night before. I opened it up and summoned Google Chrome.

"Are you there yet?" Jenny asked anxiously.

"Patience!" I smiled. IMDB loaded and I input my movie's name into the search engine. My eyes glazed over the release date, the director's name, and the plot summary before stopping at the cast list. My heart stopped when I read the name associated with the character of Sam.

"Holy fuck," I blurted.

"You're going to act with Tom Hiddleston!" Jenny squealed.

I couldn't process it. Tom Hiddleston was my inspiration for acting. As cheesy as that sounds, after seeing him in his movies I was amazed by what he could do. Of course it was a dream to work with him, but I didn't see that happening any time soon and definitely not my first movie.

"I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it girl! You're meeting him today!"

Nerves suddenly encased my body. "Thanks for making me look at that, Jenny. If I hadn't, I would've been a blubbering mess when he walked into the room. You saved me!"

I glanced at the clock in the top right corner of the screen. It was 11:36. I had one hour and twenty-four minutes until I had to be at Sony Pictures. I needed to start getting ready for the day ahead of me. I hung up with Jenny and began going about my business. Nothing could get me ready for this day. This was the day that would change everything.

__

"Grace!" I recognized my director's voice when I walked in the room. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Few had met me before, and most were curious. Nothing excited me more than to show everyone in this room that the casting directors had made the right choice in an unknown actor for the role of Lana.

"Will!" I beamed. He motioned for me to come over to him. He gave me a quick hug.

"There's someone you need to meet!" He said. I nodded knowingly.

"Fuck Jenny," I mumbled. Maybe it would've been better that I didn't know this was coming. My palms were sweaty, my throat was dry, and I could feel myself shaking.

Will brought me over to him. Standing there in all his glory was indeed Tom Hiddleston. He towered over me at six feet and some inches. His blonde hair was curly and a bit shiny with the gel he had put on it. My breath caught in my throat when our eyes met. He had beautiful blue eyes that were warm and inviting. I somehow felt the need to both stare and look away. He had about a day or so's worth of stubble grazing his chin. He gave me a big smile and looked to Will for an introduction.

"Tom, this is Grace Kopecky. She'll be playing Lana."

His eyes lit up and he smiled again. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Grace."

He took my hand, covering it with his. "I've heard so much about you! Good things, of course. I understand this is your first film?"

"It's nice to meet you too, Tom. I'm very excited to work with you," I mustered. He smiled and flickered his eyes at me. I was at a loss for words, unsure how to act around him. I was normally a bit shy around people I didn't know, and considering that this specific person was one of my idols I really just wanted to curl up into a ball and rock myself to sleep.

"Oh my God, look at the time! We have to start. Everyone take a seat!" Will said, running off.

Tom and I began walking side by side. "We should sit together," He noted.

I had no objection to this. "Okay."

We sat down and took out our scripts as everything unfolded. I was paying sharp attention to everything going on. Since it was my first time doing any of this, I wanted to be the best I could and not look like a complete idiot. We got through a good amount of the script before our time was up. The time passed so quickly. I was disappointed that we couldn't work more.

"Grace, Tom, can I talk to you two for a minute?" Will asked once everyone was filing out. We walked up to him obediently.

"I'm sure you know by reading the script that Lana and Sam have a very close relationship. I'd really like for you guys to work on this some outside of here. So exchange numbers, make plans to do something sibling like and work on getting to know each other, okay?" Will asked.

"I completely agree. It was working today but it wasn't clicking. It's a great idea, Will," Tom said. I just stood there, mesmerized.

"Grace, how was it? Is everything okay?" Will asked, his voice soft and concerned.

"Oh I'm great," I assured him. "It's a lot to take in, but I'm learning. Thank you so much."

I could feel Tom's eyes on me. I felt so self-conscious. This would definitely take getting used to.

Will left swiftly and Tom took his phone out of his jeans pocket. "What's your number?"

I gave it to him and he promptly sent me a text message. I saved the number to my own contacts and looked at him when I was done. "So what are we going to do?"

"What do you do with your siblings? Do you have any?" He asked. We began to make our way out of the building together.

"I have an older sister and a younger brother. We're all really far apart. I'm 20, my sister is 27, and my brother is 8. I guess we don't really do things together, per se. We go out to meals with our parents, and sometimes we go on trips. I think the last thing we actually did together was go to an amusement park," I said, surprised at the comfort I suddenly felt with Tom.

His eyes lit up. "Disneyland it is!"

"Wait, but what about your siblings? What if you guys do something completely different?" I asked.

He laughed. "Don't worry, we'll get to know each other with time. Unfortunately I'm in a rush. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing," I said.

He smiled again and I swear I saw stars. "Great! I'll arrange for us to go to Disneyland tomorrow. I'll text you!" He took his keys out of his pocket as I realized that we were now in the parking lot of Sony Entertainment. He got into a shiny blue Hyundai Elantra and began on his way.

I took a deep breath, relieved that it was over. Even though it made me ecstatic that I knew Tom Hiddleston - hell I was going to Disneyland with him tomorrow, it was still a lot of work for me to talk to him. I was still getting a feel for him, but if we became good friends like Will wanted us to I knew that I'd be able to be myself around him in no time.

It wasn't that time yet, though. I unlocked my old '98 Ford Explorer and hopped in, starting her up and calling my friend Nazia.

"What's good?" She greeted.

"Zia, are you free tonight? We can use my place." I offered.

"Good thing I just picked up. You get the food and I will be there at 8."

I smiled. "Love you, Nazia!"

"Yeah yeah yeah."

I needed a release. I could feel the changes in my life that were about to come, but they weren't here yet. Honestly, it scared the shit out of me. The fact that I had to become friends with Tom frightened me. I wasn't that good at making friends. What if he didn't like me? I couldn't bear to be a burden on him like that. Plus, what did the people think of me? Was I annoying because I didn't know anything?

"Stop," I mumbled to myself. "You're over thinking it." I turned up the music and drove off, leaving the worries behind.