Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

Jenny and I sat together on my couch, silently engrossed in our laptops. We were both in completely different worlds, but every ten minutes or so we'd share a pleasantry. I was currently looking through photos of Christian Bale, my love for him resurrected by The Dark Knight Rises. Suddenly Jenny grabbed onto my arm, squeezing it tightly. I took my earphones out, eager to see what she had found. I expected her to show me a picture of Jeremy Renner, whom she had just started dating, but instead I saw a YouTube video - and I saw myself.

My movie had finished weeks ago, and the post-production was close to being finished. Promotions had begun, which meant that every time I turned on the TV or saw a movie in the theater I was met with myself. It was simply mind-blowing.

Of course Tom and I were still hanging out, but it was harder now that we weren't working together anymore. I was doing an action film next, which required me to work with a trainer and eat a restricted diet. I wasn't having the best time with it because eating food and being lazy were my two favorite things, but I was able to keep going because I knew I'd be working with Daniel Craig, Ralph Fiennes, and Judi Dench on a James Bond movie. I couldn't control my inner fangirl. Tom was working on some vampire flick in Detroit, and had a bunch of movies lined up as well. It was overwhelming, in my opinion, to know exactly what you'd be working on into a few years in advance. Seeing as I was a new actor, I was taking it much slower.

Tom had been wonderful in helping me. Every day that he found time, we'd talk on the phone. I'd complain to him about working out and how badly I wanted to eat McDonald's fries, and he'd tell me his crazy stories of meeting fans in Michigan. I missed him terribly. I just wanted to be in the same room as him. We didn't even have to talk to each other; we could sit and enjoy each other's company. Skype would have to do until the premiere of our movie.

Jenny played the trailer for me, and I grinned wildly. "Can you believe it?"

"No," She replied. She scrolled down and read through the comments, something only she would take out the time to do. I knew that I'd get too emotional reading opinions on just that short trailer, so I resumed my Christian Bale-fest.

"Grace, look at this comment," Jenny said, moving her laptop so that I could see.

"I'm just realizing it now, but when I was at Disneyland I saw Tom Hiddleston and he was with Grace Kopecky. I knew Tom looked familiar but I'd never seen Grace before. I remember them acting like a proper couple. It's a little weird to find out they play siblings.."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks and the words on the page began to scramble together. "Jenny, did you write this? I swear to God, this comment is not real. That day was the first day we met! I can see maybe someone assuming that we're together now because we're so close, but when we met? That's ridiculous."

"Why are you getting so defensive?" Jenny asked, her lips curling up into a smirk. A sly look graced her features, as if she knew something I didn't.

"If this is your idea of messing with me, it's not funny!" I huffed, closing my laptop and walking purposefully into the kitchen. I grabbed a can of Diet Coke from the fridge, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with ice. I focused intently on pouring the bubbling liquid over the ice, watching the foam rise and fall.

"Grace, I'm sorry, but I didn't write that comment," Jenny said softly. She stared at my drink before opening her mouth. "Uh, is Diet Coke allowed?"

I smiled rebelliously. "Every once in awhile is okay. I can't imagine one can is going to ruin my progress."

"Commit to your movie, damnit!" Jenny laughed before going back to sit down on the couch. I glared at the glass. It looked so refreshing, but I knew that I couldn't have any of it. Cheating myself wouldn't get me anywhere. I poured it down the sink, filling the cup with water instead.

I retreated to the couch, showing off my new glass of water to Jenny but mostly to myself. Tom had given me most of the advice that I was living off of currently. He had experienced the grueling workouts when he tried out for the part of Thor, and then he had to continue in order to become Loki. He reminded me that most of it is mental, not physical. He was completely right.

My phone vibrated in the pocket of my jean shorts. I gazed at the screen, seeing that I had a mention on Twitter. I opened the message and read it carefully. "@twhiddleston: @gracekopecky I miss you."

I smiled widely, quickly typing my reply back. "@gracekopecky: @twhiddleston And you decided to tell me this on Twitter? :P"

Something about this tweet was different though. There was no Shakespeare, or no quote at all for that matter, which was peculiar for him. He rarely tweeted outright. I knew he really did miss me, and he wanted to post it somewhere rather than text it to me.

"@twhiddleston: @gracekopecky Couldn't think of a better place to tell you."

I grinned at my phone. "@gracekopecky: @twhiddleston Couldn't miss you more than I do now.

I returned my attention to my laptop, opening it and arranging a new playlist to work out to. I loved running, and I had gotten into it once I graduated from high school and needed something to get me up in the morning, but my new workouts were different. My trainer made me do things to increase speed, agility, and strength while I was used to just running at a steady pace and clearing my head. These sessions required all of my focus and in short bursts until I couldn't go anymore, and then we took a break and started over again.

"THE LOVEFEST THAT IS ON MY TWITTER FEED RIGHT NOW!" Jenny screamed, and I looked over at her, alarmed.

"What?" I asked, shocked. I assumed Jeremy had sent her a tweet or something happened between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, but my heart skipped a beat when I saw the tweets from me and Tom.

"You guys are truly something else, and everyone can see it – except you two,” Jenny said abruptly.

I sighed. “I’m really tired of people telling me what we are and what we aren’t. This is nothing against you, but you’re one of many who have told me that we’re meant for each other, we’re in love, or something along that line. So maybe I’m in love with him,” I paused, swallowing hard and fighting back the tears. “But that doesn’t mean anything. I think we have a better handle on what we are than other people, and as far as we know we’re best friends.”

“It does mean something that you love him,” Jenny said softly. “You need to tell him how you feel.”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

Jenny gave me a skeptical look, reaching over and cupping my face in her hands so that I was forced to look at her. I stared at her, my eyes wide. In my five years of knowing her, we'd only touched a few times. She didn't like contact. I knew this was serious. "Yes, you can. He's in love with you; head over heels for you. I don't know what's wrong with him that he can't see that you feel the same way about him, or that he just chooses to put you in this agony, but please do something so you can be happy! You deserve it for fuck's sake, and so does he!"

She let go of me and I glued my eyes to ground. "You don't know that."

"No, Grace, he hasn't told me that he loves you. He doesn't tell me all his secrets. But tell me this, is he single?"

I nodded, biting my lip. "If he doesn't love you, then why isn't he in relationship? He's Tom fucking Hiddleston. He could easily find someone."

I shook my head. "No, he's not like that. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?"

"Okay," She started again. "When's the last time he went on a date? When's the last time he even talked about another woman to you? If he didn't have feelings for you, would he be that careful not to mention other women? And don't give me that 'He's just really caring' bit. You guys are best friends and best friends tell each other everything! You want everyone to believe that there's nothing there; that you're just normal best friends like anyone else-"

"Okay, Jenny, I get it!" I yelled back. I hadn't realized how heated it had gotten between us until I was able to sit in quiet for a few minutes, collecting my thoughts like they were pieces of paper blown away in the wind.

"My situation is different from yours, okay? I'm so happy for you and Jeremy, I really am. You know I want that with Tom, but just because you have it doesn't mean everyone else can have it with whomever they want," I reasoned.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. Maybe you guys will get together in time or maybe you'll stay just friends, but for your own good just do something about it or move on!"

My heart dropped. Move on? How could I ever move on from him? But Jenny was right, I couldn't keep torturing myself. I had to act on my feelings in some way or another. My phone lit up in my hands, telling me that someone was calling me. I looked at the screen, my eyes widening. I slowly slid the 'answer' bar across.

"Hello?"

"Grace! It's Joe. How are you darling?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm great! I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh no, not at all. You have perfect timing, actually."