Status: This is not a fan fiction anymore. It is drama.

Total Drama Couch

Some Things You Just Can't Replace

"We actually died in a fire... Wow, I cannot tell you how ironic this feels," I mumbled to Devin, both of us perched atop a fluffy, white sofa. Our surroundings were bright to describe it gently, and had circumstances been different, I'm sure we would have gone blind. But, you know, we were dead. "I really should've controlled my anger more; kept the fire threats at bay."

Devin exhaled and stood, her hands on her hips. "Kelly deserved all of it," she muttered as if she had only been half-listening for the past hour or so that it felt like we were sitting there. "So is this fucking Heaven or something?"

"Devin!" I shouted instantly, "You can't say 'fucking' in Heaven!" We might not be alive anymore, but she retained all of her personality—and by that I mean audacity.

"If that were true then it is a good thing you two are not in Heaven."

I scanned the open space we were being kept in but found nobody but Devin, looking just as confused as I felt. "God?"

"Ha! I always get that." A man I could have sworn was not there was now standing off to the side, dressed in a taupe three-piece suit, except this suit must have been altered because protruding from this stranger's back were a massive pair of angel wings. Only, these wings seemed different from the cliché ones in storybooks. His were a soiled off-white color, there was no glow, and the feathers seemed to have been falling off to the point where there were several spots that revealed pale, scabbed over, bat-like skin. "I'm sorry, it gets pretty boring when you're put on guardian duty. Hello, I am Luke."

When he introduced himself he took one of the hands from behind his back and stretched it in mine and Devin's direction. The skin that covered his knuckles closely resembled the weathered layers on his wings. My eyes panned up to his face and it was scarred all over, shaded under a shock of brown hair that matched his suit. I felt rude for staring, but there was a force inhibiting me from turning away. "I get that all the time too," he noted and retracted his hand. "As you can tell, I am an angel, but you probably never imagined us looking so beat up."

Devin and I nodded, though, I felt as if I were compelled to do it rather than on my own will. Then my head started to feel heavy...

"You guys are going to pass out soon," he said, noticing that my eyelids were beginning to droop. "Your minds haven't quite adjusted, so the sight of me is merely overwhelming you. Short story is, you're both dead, but you've been selected to go back to the living world as 'agents' for the Divine in the same region you previously lived. Catch is, you'll be souped-up with new powers, and you won't be able to assume your old faces or names."

We nodded once more, but I that was the last I saw of that area.


The boys were sitting around the house as they found themselves doing more and more frequently. Unfortunately for David and Jayk, Kelly was not at all phased by the untimely loss of their two best friends. Then again she was ready to pop in a month or two, so naturally the world was wrapped around her finger.

"DAVID-!" she would scream whenever she was in need of food, other material treats, or attention. She called on him more than Jayk because although the baby was the latter's, David had proposed to his girlfriend of a few weeks upon hearing the news.

He always promptly responded to her distress calls, but his reluctance was evident. However bad it may make him as a fiancé or person, she was the last thing on his mind, and he could tell it annoyed her unceasingly—she never cared for Devin, and would have the gall to openly express her hatred of Charlie. "What do you need now, honey?"

"My bowl is empty," Kelly pouted, holding out the dish she drained of Cheetos. "I think this time I want popcorn. Make some for me, baby?"

David grabbed the bowl, shuffling toward the kitchen that was adjacent to the couch Kelly was glued to 24/7. He dropped it on the counter that was already fighting for vacancy, then made his way to the pantry. He couldn't help but think of how much Charlie loved popcorn; he clearly remembered her philosophy: the more butter there, was the better. They used to buy bulk packs just for her and it would be depleted within a couple visits. But then she began to complain about how "fat" should got from it, so, by her demand, they stopped spending their money on the goods. David would stash a few bags away for her though, in the event she would crave it. Now he was taking from that caché and feeding it to the woman Charlie undoubtedly had the worst feelings toward.

When he finished up, handed Kelly the freshly filled bowl, and brushed away her comment about how sluggishly he was moving nowadays, the doorbell rang. Quickly glancing at the door, he turned to the hallway and trudged down it back to his room.
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DON'T DIE FROM WAITING MALI! Title from "When You Were Mine;" David sings that part. Lawl, see what I did there?