Rock 'N' Roll Dreams

"I know that, Xavier," I say. "But I have been hurt so many times before that I think I should just take a break for now. I want time to think, to breath, and to heal."

Xavier can be hard-headed sometimes, but if you just explain it to him, he will understand. It's just how he is. I watch him nod 'okay' in my direction and go into the bus. I begin to pace again. Phoenix watches me walk back and forth for awhile.

"Why does she have to show up again like this?" I ask him. I am such a worrier as Zain tells me. I guess I don't know what to do with myself when trouble comes along. Just how I am. I have learned to live with it.

"I don't know. I guess 'cause she is a controlling bitch?" Phoenix says, trying to calm me down. "Now stop pacing and sit down." He pulls me over to the grass and pulls me down beside him.

"I don't know, Nix. I just can't seem to wrap my head around anything these days. I guess that I am scared about everything right now." I look out to see everyone walking around waiting for the bands to start playing.

"We are going to ask Oceana to be our band's photographer. She will be going on the road with us. Are you going to be okay having her around?" he asks almost soberly. "I don't want you having a mental breakdown the whole time she is around."

"That's cool, man. I'll be fine," I answer honestly. Oceana is going to be around. Well, at least she seems cool. I do like her personality so far, but I have no clue what is going to happen. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

"You know, Nix. I think I'll be fine. She is cool. I bet she is really good at what she does if you are asking her to do this for us." I stare off into space. Having a girl on tour with us, isn't this going to be an adventure? Let's just hope it's a good one and not one the ends up in disaster. Wait, hold it. I can't think like that. I just have to stop thinking like that. Be positive. Well, that's what I'm going to keep telling myself. Be positive.

After awhile the guys come get me. "Time to play, pretty boy," Zain says, pulling me to my feet. "We've got a show to perform in front of thousands, and we need the pretty boy guitar player."

"Wait a second. Since when am I the pretty boy? I thought that was Nix!" I say, dusting myself off. I follow the rest of the band backstage. I fix my messed up hair. I stretch before the show. When the time comes, I run out on stage with the rest of them and grab my bass and play.