Just Can't Let You Go

She was nothing but giggles and smiles -- especially since Logan walked into her life. I've been part of her life since she was born practically and she couldn't care less. Maybe it was because I never really had an emotional connection to her father.

Although she was giggling and having fun with all of us -- aside from Shane who was just watching -- she wasn't paying too much to anyone but Logan. That's what bugged me the most. She hasn't known him for more than a couple days, but because he was in love with Shane first, and she had a love of happy endings, she was wanting everything to work out between them.

I watched as Shane stood up, grabbed his jacket, and walked out the front door. Standing up myself, I followed him. He had already went halfway up the road, heading towards the river, and every bad thought, every threat, every fight that ever happened between us filled my mind.

Keeping a steady distance between us, I kept an eye on him. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, turned it to silent, and put it back into my pocket. I watched as he made a quick left, which anyone who has lived in this town long enough knows it's the quickest way to the cliff.

I sped up just a bit, enough to be able to keep an eye on him, but not enough to let him know I was there. Somehow, my cover was blown, because he whirled around and we both froze. "How long have you been following me?" he asked, watching me carefully.

"Since you left the house," I replied, taking a single step towards him. He took one step back, obviously trying to keep distance between us. "Look, I'm worried about you, Shane. You've been my best friend for nearly a decade, and it seems ever since that damned Logan came back into your life, you've been distancing yourself from everyone but him and Evelyn."

"Why should you care who I distance myself from and who I don't?" he asked, a look of anger crossing his face. It was this fight all over again. I let out an angered yell before kicking the fence beside me.

"Really, Shane? Really?" I said, casting an ever-so-slight glance his way. "What if it doesn't work out? What if you two get super comfortable again, and it ends up not working out?" I asked, clenching and unclenching my hands. "I was there for you when you came back. It was me who gave you and Evelyn a home when you couldn't afford both rent and food. And it's me who should be wrapped in your arms every night, listening to you breathing."

That was the first time I ever told Shane how deeply my feelings went for him.

Shane

I stood there shocked, not really grasping what I just heard. I knew Reggie liked me a lot, I've known since before I started questioning who I really was. I just never knew how much he truly liked me.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I knew it all along, I just brushed it off so it wouldn't freak me out. I met his gaze, the brown-eyed gaze that's been there for me since I was first here. He was crying, and I knew he was angry, frustrated, and upset at me because I've pushed him aside for another guy.

"Come here," I whispered, opening my arms a bit. Reggie slowly walked over to me and leaned against me. Wrapping my arms around him, I whispered, "I'm an ass. I know that. I never realized how much I pushed you aside."

"I waited. In high school, when you left for Ireland, and when you moved back. I waited for so long, and even after realizing I pretty much didn't have a chance, I still waited, hoping that there was just a small chance," he said, choking on a sob. "The day you kissed me -- when you saw Logan after all these years -- I thought it was my actual chance at being happy for once."

I didn't know what to say, so I just pushed him away until he was at arms length. "Let's go to the bar. We can both use a drink right now. Sound good?" I asked, my right hand cupping his face and wiping away the tears.

"I think I need more than a drink," he said, a small smile appearing on his face.

"There's the smile," I said, pulling on a curl of his hair before motioning him to come on. "Let's get. Before someone finds us. We'll Evelyn with Logan since she most likely hasn't noticed we've left yet."

Running for the bar as if our life depended on it, our laughs permeated the air around us and nothing could go wrong.

Time Elapse

We arrived home, Reggie drunker than a skunk. I had just a slight buzz, but it was enough to keep my head on my shoulders. I dropped Reggie on the other couch, seeing how Logan and Evy were taking up the other one. I noticed Reggie move a bit, but he eventually fell back into a drunken sleep.

Picking up Evelyn, I started for the stairs. "Who's there?" I heard Logan ask, turning just as he stood up.

"Shane," I said, making him turn towards me. "I'm taking the kid upstairs. Come on, I want to talk with you," I said, starting up the stairs, making sure I didn't hit Evelyn's head on the wall.

Making it to her room, I set her down on the bed gently, covering her up and kissing her forehead. When I turned towards the door, I saw Logan there, a saddened smile on his face. Walking towards him, I grabbed his hand and made my way towards the room.

"What's up?" he asked as we sat on the bed. I looked at the wall for a long moment before looking at him.

"Have you ever known that Reggie was in love with me? Like really in love with me?" I asked seriously, my eyes starting to droop due to me being tired.

"Anyone could tell. You always seemed to brush him off, though. Which I suppose is a good thing since you and I were together," he replied, scooting closer to me.

"I realized tonight that I loved him, too," I said, causing Logan to gasp. "but... but.." I continued, looking directly into Logan's eyes, "I came to the conclusion that since I loved you and still love you so much more than I could love another soul -- aside from Evelyn, of course -- that I could never and would never be with him, not for any reason. I had all these chances to be with him, but it seemed that I was waiting for the man who had my heart to come back into my life. And he has," I finished, pressing my lips softly to Logan's.