Saving Winter

I hate myself. Everything about myself is ugly. I hate my skin, which is as white as the snow under my big feet. I hate my hair that's as dark as the night. I hate my tiny nose and my pale blue eyes. I hate my stupid name; Winter Snow Chambers. But most of all I hate my heart, the one that’s been growing colder and colder over the years. My smiles are a faded memory in all my years of pain and suffering.

I looked at the ground below my feet. Sooner or later I’m going to fall. I hated going to the grocery store, but I still had to go. I started to walk down the ice covered sidewalk.
Why am I here? This world has nothing else to offer me. I’ve had plenty of chances to take my life away, so why does Winter Snow Chambers still exist? That’s the question I ask myself everyday. What am I waiting for , what was my purpose? It’s not like I’ll ever meet someone? People are completely useless. I haven’t made friends since fourth grade. They just stopped liking me after that. I was just to ‘depressing’ for them. Will guess what? I don’t care! Never did, never will.

My real parents never wanted me. If my memory serves me right, they tried to get rid of me! What’s even worse was the fact that now they have two children. I survived the abortion. How? Who knows. I just got unlucky. Unlovable. That’s the best word to describe me. I stopped at the old bridge and looked down at the cold rushing water below. I sat on the ledge, my feet hanging down towards the water. Could this be my death? Something in my stomach knotted, I sighed. This is the thing that always stops me, the knot. My butt was freezing cold by the time I made the decision to keep moving forward.

The store lights were coming into view when I lost my footing. I attempted to keep myself up, so I grabbed onto the jacket of some girl who was in front of me. Like hell if that worked! She fell right on top.

“Get off of me!” I yelled in her ear. She got up quickly.

“Well it’s not my fault your clumsy!” She yelled right back in my face. She brown curly hair covered her tiny heart shaped face and her tiny hands were balled into a fist. I rolled my eyes. She’s just another annoying brat.

“Bug off.” I said and walked inside the store. I heard tiny footsteps echo behind me.

“I’m not leaving until you say sorry!” She called out.

“Then you’ll have to wait forever for that.” I whispered.

“Fine, then I’ll stay with you until you do.” She stood beside me while I did my shopping. At first it was okay but when I got in the line to pay, it started to bug me. I guess she got bored and tried to make conversation with me.

“What’s your name? Cool hair, is it natural? Where are you from? What school do you go to?” The questions kept going on and on. My brain was about to explode!

“Shut up!” Everyone was staring at me, I blushed. All of a sudden I felt self-conscious and I wanted to turn invisible. I hurried to pay for my stuff and I ran out of there as fast as the speed of light. Running was a bad idea because I just slipped again, and all my groceries fell with me. The eggs were splattered on the ground and the other stuff fell of the ledge of the bridge that was next to me.

“ARRGH!” I growled and punched the ground. Again, bad idea. My knuckles bleed instantly. The girl from earlier came up to and helped me with my food. “Are you okay?” I looked up at her. No words came out. I just stared. Nobody has ever cared what happened to me. No one. I wanted to know why she did.

“I can do it myself.” She looked stunned by my words. I still have trust issues, and this girl hasn’t given me a reason on why I should trust her.

“Fine, jerk.” She left me alone to pick up my grocery alone. Just like I wanted……right?