Is It Killing You Like It's Killing Me?

Jessica’s POV

While waiting outside for Grace I lit a cigarette and took a drag, blowing the smoke into the air. I watched it as it spiralled into the air and disappeared. I could still tell I was high, I like that feeling it calms me down, distracts me from the pain.

Grace walked out the front door, pulling down the sleeves of her sweater to cover up her arms. It was freezing today the tips of my fingers were numb and not even my cigarette was warming me up. I took one last drag from my cigarette and threw it on the ground stamping it out with my foot. I don't like smoking around Grace, It worries her.

"You okay?" I asked
"Yeah I'm alright, I wish you wouldn't try and protect me Jessie,"
"That's what I'm meant to do protect my baby sister, I don't give a shit about what he does you know that." I pulled her into a hug and she rested her head on my shoulder.
"It doesn't make it right," she let go and pulled at her sweater again.

Blake pulled up onto the curb and we climbed into the back of his car, his mustang. He has a lot of money for being a drug addict but I guess you do if your dad’s a lawyer.

"You alright ladies?" he asked turning around to face us and place his arm on the back of his seat.
"Fantastic" I said in a slightly high pitched squeal.
"You’re high arnt you?" I looked him up and down examining his eyes
"And your not?" He turned back around and placed his hands on the wheel.
"Touché Miss Anderson, Touché.” He turned his key in the ignition, put the car into drive and pushed his foot down on the accelerator. Blake has never know the meaning of driving safely.

It took about 10 minutes to get to school, Blake pulled into a parking space and we quickly got out dragging old beer cans and burger boxes out with our feet. I closed the door behind me and straightened myself out, adjusting my hair in the window of the car in the next parking space.

“Jessie!” I turned around and there was Chase

He looked amazing in his jacket and his plain white t-shirt. His skinny jeans hugged his legs and he had a cigarette in his right hand.”Chase.” I said softly as he walked up and embraced me, being careful not to catch my long hair on his cigarette. Grace and Blake walked up and stood to the side of us. I looked to the side still with my arms around Chase and looked at Grace. She looked awkward as usual when she was left alone with Blake. And Blake was just looking into the distance. Stoned fucker.

I love Chase, the way he covers himself in after shave, wears the same black leather jacket whenever it's cold and the small stains of oil on his shirt where he fixes up his bike. His pride and joy. Some of those things would steer away most girls. But I’m not like most girls.

Chase pulled away and placed his right hand on my shoulder and ran the other though his chestnut hair. He swapped hands putting his free hand in his pocket and lifting the other to his mouth to take a drag from his cigarette.

Grace cleared her throat and tapped me on the shoulder. How long had we been standing there? I didn’t really care, that always happens when I’m around Chase.”If she didn’t do that I would’ve done a lot worse,” Blake Chuckled. I looked over to Grace and I saw a smile creep onto her lips. Chase flicked the remains of his cigarette onto the floor and stamped it out with his foot. The school bell rang in the distance and we make our way towards the entrance.

My first lesson was english and thankfully it was with Grace. We both enjoy english which is weird for me, to enjoy a lesson. I walked in with Grace to my side. All eyes in the room were on us. I shrugged it off as I walked to the back of the room with Grace following. She was looking at the floor as usual. She didn’t like the attention, much like I did. I just didn’t show it. Kids at this school were cruel and once they knew what you hated they would attack you with it. That’s why I acted like nothing worried me because they are horrible in this town. Grace wasn’t like that. To be honest though, I wouldn’t be this calm without her.

We took our seats at the back of the class. Furthest away from the teacher, furthest away from the geeks and closest to the popular kids. Yeah we didn’t plan that out when the year began. I looked over to the right, past Grace, and saw Chelsea Davis captain of the cheerleading squad staring at the front, twisting a strand of her blonde hair around her finger. She always made fun of Grace, probably because she was such an easy target. I on the other hand was not. I turned back around, facing the front of the class and leant back on my chair.

“Don’t you want to get your book out Jessie?” Grace asked looking at me with her huge puppy like eyes.
“Yeah, Yeah hold on,” I said reaching down to get my bag, pulled it onto my lap, rummaged around for my book and threw it on the table. I looked back over to Grace and smiled. She looked a bit worried, I must have still looked high. My eyes were yet to shrink down to their normal size.

”Be back in a second” She said as she got up from her chair and began to walk to the front of the classroom. I flicked through my book until I found a empty page and began to scribble down the date until I heard a crash. I looked up from my book to see Grace laid out on the floor. I threw my pen down on the table and looked back over to Chelsea. “Oops, your sister is very clumsy isn’t she,” she said in a patronizing tone, crossing her left leg over the other. The rest of the class laughed as Grace pulled herself up and carried on making her way to the front. “Hmm” I said pushing my hair out of my face. “That obviously had nothing to do you with you Chelsea... Nothing at all”