Blighted Soul

I hadn’t been to the beach in years. There was something about it that made something in me stir as I followed Caleb out to the shore. I couldn’t help but notice that there was a small smile playing on his face.

“What are you smiling about?” I asked.

“I have something I want to show you,” he said. “Come on.”

I followed him wordlessly. I was able to forget that he was even there for a little bit. I concentrated on the sun and the feel of the sand beneath my feet. The further we walked the farther back my mind went. Images of my family, when it was still whole and perfect, began to flash across my mind’s eye. All the men in my family in swimming trunks, splashing through the waves on a summer’s day. My mother calling us all back and handing everyone sandwiches while we sat beneath the shade of our beach umbrella.

I felt a tear make its way down my face but wiped it away quickly before Caleb could notice. I didn’t even realize where we were until the sun was blotted out by the silhouette of a small ocean cave. My hand reached out of its own volition, touching the slick rock.

“What—how did you find this?” I asked in astonishment.

“I used to come here all the time and explore when my parents were together. Of course now they can’t stand each other and they’re too busy to do much of anything, but…” He never finished his sentence. I looked up at him, leaning against the entrance to the cave.

“I used to come here with my family, too. Before my parents died.” I said quietly.
His face contorted into one of honest remorse. “I’m so sorry. Here I am complaining just because my parents aren’t together—”

“No,” I said, cutting him off, “you have every right to complain and be upset about your parents.”

“Still, it seems so selfish,” he said quietly, biting his lip. We were both quiet for a moment before he asked, “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“Car accident. It was about a year ago.” I said meekly. And then, just to take the focus off of me, I asked “What happened with your parents?”

“You know, they always said that they had their differences, but I suspect that there was something else. No one acts that viciously towards other people over ‘differences.’”

“What do you think happened?” I asked.

“Honestly,” Caleb sighed, “I think my dad cheated on my mom.”

“That’s terrible,” I said, and I meant it. If you loved someone you loved them. You didn’t go around sleeping with other people. Of course I didn’t have much experience romantically. I was used to the casual fuck and that was it. I had never loved anyone and I didn’t think I ever would.

He didn’t say anything. He only jerked his head in the direction of the beach and murmured, “Walk with me?”

“Of course,” I said. As he walked, slightly ahead of me, my fingers itched to grip his hand in mine. This was beyond surprising. I didn’t get urges to do cutesy things like that. What the hell was happening to me? Noticing my gaze—which was still intent on his hand—he reached back and laced his fingers through mine. Shocked, I looked up at him. He had that same exultant grin on his face.

For a moment, I took in him in with my eyes. With the sun shining down, his usually dark blonde hair was gold and his eyes were an even brighter green than usual. The skin around his eyes crinkled due to the fact that he was smiling. He was…beautiful.