Blighted Soul

I completely skip my homework that night. I don’t participate in any of the conversation at the dinner table. In fact, I barely even touch my food. I feel completely numb, yet, at the same time, it feels like a part of me has been ripped away. It feels like my heart has been grinded up and spat back into my body.

I lay awake for most of the night, the sheets lying loosely around my waist. Cool, fall air drifts in from the open window, kissing my bare chest. I feel like I’ve been reading a story about my life, only to have the last few pages ripped out. Now I’m completely lost. I don’t know what to do, who to be.

Should I become closed off like I was before Evan? Should I keep trying to get him back, or should I just give him some space? What’s going to happen to us? I rub at my eyes which are now burning with sleep. It’s well past midnight now. The temperature is dropping, but I can’t really bring myself to care. I finally begin to drift off to sleep with one question softly replaying itself in my head:

What do I do now?