About a Girl

"Bu-"

Adam roughly grabbed me by the face. "Please stop saying but. You sound like a goddamn broken record."

Apparently Adam and Alex really planned everything out. Turns out my mother thought it'd be a good idea to go to Vegas with her husband while my brother stayed with family in California. And not once did any of them think to call me or at least give me a heads up. Oh, well. It just made it that much easier to leave them behind.

With all of them gone, Adam used the spare key I had given him when we were thirteen to go to my house and pack some of my stuff. Now, I wasn't a girl of material things. My room was fairly small so I only had the necessities. A queen sized bed, a desk for the crappy computer that I never even used, and a large shelf that held all my books, Cd's and vinyls, and my DVD collection. Posters of my favorite bands covered my walls and instruments took up the rest of my room. I had a beautiful Roland Rd-700NX piano my dad bought me when I was 13. I also had a Fender Jazz Bass, my first bass, and a Mike Dirnt Precision Bass that Adam bought me for my 15th birthday. I punched him so hard because he spent almost a thousand dollars on it, but I was so grateful.

He had packed me five pair of pants, about thirty bands shirts, two pairs of converse, and of course my undergarments in one big suit case. In a smaller one he packed some of the books and Cd's he knew I couldn't live without. And brought me my piano and P-Bass. All of my other possessions would be placed in a storage unit that his parents had rented out but never used. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, much to smooth for my liking. There had to be a catch. There is always a catch.

"You have to write a letter to your mom that you're not coming back home," Adam explained to me.

"How the hell I'm I gonna do that. Dear Mother, I ran away. See you never," I said sarcastically.

"If that's how you'll think she'll get the message, then yeah."

I rubbed my face furiously while rocking back and forth on my spot on the couch. Adam sat beside with his arm around my shoulders trying to calm me. Everyone else just sat drinking as they watched me have a mental breakdown.

"Look, it doesn't have to be something deep and personal, just a note saying that you're leaving and that they don't have to send out a search party for you," Alex tried to reason with me.

Would they send out a search party? Would they even care to take notice that all my stuff was missing? How long would it take for them to even notice was I gone? Most importantly, would they even care if I was gone? How do I write a goodbye note to a family that don't even care about me? I looked at the paper and pen Adam had placed in front of me. Shakily, I grabbed the pen and leaned forward.



I was in tears by the end of the letter. I hated for admitting this, but no matter how much I wish to hate her completely, I just can't. I may detest her for being an absolute bitch of a mother, but there were days when I could genuinely say to her face, "I love you," and mean it.

"It's okay, just let it all out," Adam whispered into my ear.

Right now he had me in his lap wrapped tightly in his arms. One hand rubbed up and down my back soothingly while the other held my head against the crook of his neck. How the hell was I gonna live without Adam by my side. I hated acting like this. Like a big blubbering baby. I hated that all the guys were seeing me like this. Why was this turning out to be so hard? Here's my chance to leave this forsaken state and I'm crying cause I think I'll miss my mom. Fuck, I'm so pathetic.

"How are you feeling," Adam asked. I've finally managed to stop crying and was just sniffling a lot now.

I rubbed my eyes. "Alright, I guess."

He laughed a little. I could never give a definite answer, I was always so indecisive. "Y'all need to start going. Albuquerque is about 12 hours from here."

Shit. We were already leaving Texas. I've never been out of Texas, I was a little scared.

"Hey, you ready?"

I looked up to see Alex staring at me with concern. I smiled and nodded.

"We packed up all the shit and we already put your bags in the back. We're all set, we just need to start driving."

Adam and I walked outside to see everyone waiting by the van. When they saw me come out they all smiled at me. There's a lot of things I'm not certain about this, but one thing I am certain about is that these people will help me get through it all.

Erik quickly ran over to me and stopped merely an inch in front of me. "Are you our new bass player?"

I laughed at his eagerness and nodded my head.

"Yes!" he shouted as he picked me and gave me a bear hug.

I just laughed and told him to put me down.

"Can I steal her for a quick moment," Adam asked Alex.

"Sure man. Just don't be long," he winked.

I rolled my eyes at Alex as Adam pulled me over to his car.

"I just wanted to say goodbye to you in private," he mumbled.

I always knew Adam had a crush on me. Ever since we were little he'd always do little things that only a boyfriend should do. I told him that I would only see him as my best friend and he accepted that. We would always be only good friends.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," he said looking deep into my eyes.

"You don't have to miss me. Why can't you come," I whined.

"You know I can't," he sighed. "There's nothing for me to do with something like this."

Adam wanted to be photographer. Ever since he got his first camera when we were in first grade he was always taking pictures. It was his passion.

"You can take pictures of the band. Photographers like that get a lot of money."

He ignored my reasoning's and just shook his head. I pulled him in for a hug, My head rested on his shoulder while his rested on top of my head. "I'm gonna miss you too Adam. I don't know how I'm gonna live without you by my side. You're my rock. You've kept me sane since I was five." I was gonna cry again. I could feel those stupid tears trying to break out.

"I love you Chelsea, I really do."

"I love you too Adam." I never thought I'd say those words again since my dad. But I really did love Adam. After my dad died, he took his place, or at least tried to and he did a pretty damn good job at it.

"Give me your phone." I handed him my phone and he tossed it into his car. He was gonna leave it with my letter. A sign showing that I was really leaving my old life. "Here," he said breaking the silence that fell over us.

First he handed me my glasses. I had left them at home because I was wearing contacts when I met the guys.

"Where are your contacts?"

"Took them out this morning. We're bugging the fuck out of me."

He laughed at me before bringing something out from behind his back. He was holding my teddy bear with a skull head my dad bought me at a show once. It was one of my favorite things in the world. I named it Grim. It was a black teddy bear with a little blue shirt with a spider on it and a skull head. I took it to school one day and got sent to detention because some girls were saying I was scaring them with it. It never even left my backpack. I just took it to know that it was there. It was like a security blanket for me. Grim also had a little chain around it's neck with a pick on it. But there was something else on it right now. A ring?

"What's this," I said pulling at the ring.

"I know you're not too big on wearing jewelry, but this is just something to help you remember me by," he spoke as he pulled a chain out from his shirt. It had a ring on it too. "It's a hand interlocking ring. One hand is a human hand and the other is a skeleton hand. Saying that even if one of us dies, we'll always be there for each other." He grabbed the skeleton hand ring on Grim's chain and his human hand ring and put them together. The hands interlocked with each other.

I smiled brightly at him and hugged him tightly again.

"When ever you need a hand to hold onto, I'll either be on Grim, or if you choose to wear it, I'll be with you right by your heart."

"You're making me cry again." He knew I hated crying. It showed weakness and I was already fucked enough, I didn't need people thinking I was weak.

We held onto each other for I don't know how long, but a horn finally pulled us apart.

"Sorry to break this little love fest, but we really need to start going," Adam shouted from the car.

I was about to open my mouth when Adam quickly cut me off. "Don't say goodbye, we'll see each other again. I promise. All the guys have my number and I have theirs. Don't be afraid to call. I could be fucking a girl ready to climax, but if you need to talk, I'll pull right out of her and talk with you."

"I really didn't need to hear that," I grimaced.

He just laughed as he pulled me into another hug.

"I love you," I mumbled into his chest.

"I love you too." His voice was shaking. I looked up and saw him crying. The last time I saw Adam cry was in second grade and he broke his foot. I wiped away his tear and kissed him on the cheek. He let me go and I slowly walked backwards to the van with Grim held tightly in my hands. He just stood by his car and watched me with glossy eyes. I slowly got in the van and sat next to Astrid. I had a death grip on Grim now. The window was down so I could still see Adam. I slowly waved and he waved too. I was leaving my best friend.

"Are we ready?" Erik asked from the front.

Astrid squeezed my shoulder.

"Yeah," I managed to croak out my eyes never leaving Adam. He was still waving.

Slowly we pulled out of the parking lot of the venue and drove onto the road. I looked out the window till I could no longer see Adam. When I finally lost sight of him I broke down into tears. Astrid immediately pulled into a hug as Alex patted my back.

"Shh honey. I know it's hard, but he wanted you to do this. He'd rather you leave him than stay home in misery," Astrid tried to calm me.

No matter how true her words were, it still stung to know that I was leaving my best friend behind. I was leaving my whole life behind. I didn't care how crappy it was, it was my life. But now, I get to start a new life.