About a Girl

My experience at the pool was...interesting. Erik kept his promise to giving me some clothes and staying by my side the whole time. Flip and Astrid were only wearing their underwear and Erik could tell how self conscience I felt around them. They were beautiful. Tattoos littered their lean bodies and I was a pudgy teenager. I felt ugly, but Erik tried really hard to make me feel comfortable and took to making fun of Bo and his 'stump legs'. I'll admit that I laughed, but it didn't make me feel any better.

We spent about an hour at the pool. Alex, Astrid, Flip and Bo all played chicken. Erik placed me on his back while he swam around the pool. This caused Emil to start calling me spider monkey to which I splashed him for. And they all played Marco Polo while I watched. It was a nice time and the upside about it was nothing bad happen. That's a good sign, I think.

Currently Flip, Astrid and I were sitting in a very small, but homey, beauty salon. Flip and Astrid were currently looking through a book of hairstyles looking for 'the one' that would suit me best and give me a whole new look. They kept pointing and asking me for my opinion, but I was in my own little world dreading the moment the scissors came out.

My dad had a fascination with me growing my hair out long like a hippy so he could braid the sides and tie them around the back of my head. Sort of like how a princess would do it and put flowers in it. But then one day my brother had the bright idea of being a beautician himself and decided to cut my hair while I slept. Let's just say I didn't go to school for a month.

Since then I've avoided any kind of beauty salons and people with scissors and instead trimmed my hair every one in awhile to cut off the dead ends. After eight years of growing out my hair it was finally at my waist and I couldn't be happier about it. Now I have to cut it and I have no idea what they're gonna do to me.

"What about this one," Astrid said excitedley.

"Huh?" I managed to say as she snapped me out of my thoughts.

"C'mon Chels, we know you're not too excited about this, but you gotta at least try and find a hairstyle you like," Flip tried to reason with.

"I know, I know, but...it's just hard, you know. I mean," I was trying to find the right words, "If y'all haven't noticed I don't act much like a girl and could care less about my appearance," total lie , "but my hair's the only thing that I care about."

Flip was about to say something when my name was called up from the front. She squeezed my hand reassuringly and we made our way to the counter.

"Ok, which one of you is Chelsea?"

I raised my hand a little.

"Oh, well aren't you just the cutest thing I've ever seen," she shrieked. I looked up at her from behind my hair. The lady at the counter had platinum blonde hair that was styled in a bee-hive fashion, way too much makeup on, and she popping gum as she spoke. And on her name tag was Barbra. I felt like I was in the 50s. "Has anyone ever told you that your cute as a mouse," she squealed. Yeah, she squealed.

"Uh, no?" I said unsure if she was being nice or sarcastic.

"Oh, really? Well now you've been told," she giggled. "Now, how can I help you? Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners. My name is Barbra, if you haven't noticed the tag," she laughed, "But call me Barb."

I was at a loss for words. Her bubbly personality was just too much for me too handle. If I wasn't scared before then I sure as hell was scared now. Luckily, Flip spoke for me.

"We are looking for a hairstyle that will give out little.." she paused for a moment, "Mouse a whole new look. Preferably something edgy."

I gave a glare at Flip for calling me a mouse, but I couldn't deny it either. Even Adam said that I had that 'mousey' look going on.

"Ok," Barbra Barb, started, " First lets go to my station and then we could look through the books and find one you think fits best." She led us over to her work station and you could easily tell this girl should have lived in the 50s. She had a checkered pattern work counter and a checkered pattern apron that she put over me. Her equipment was either a bright pink or a pale blue and she had a picture of Elvis Presley and another picture of James Dean on the mirror of her work space. At least she had good taste.

"We already looked through all the book and nothing caught her eye," Astrid said as I laid my head against the head rest of the chair. I was really dreading this.

"Hmm. Well there's gotta be something that's caught your eye," Barbra Barb said as she began preparing her equipment.

I shook me head and shrugged my shoulders. Even if I tried to think of one I wouldn't be able to say it out loud. The three of them stood in silence as they thought over what they could do to my hair. If I haven't taken a pill earlier I'd be freaking out by now, but I felt numb.

"I got it," Astrid shouted making all of us jump. "I think that since your name is Chelsea, what better cut to suit you than the Chelsea Cut."

My eyes practically bulged out of my eye sockets. "Please tell me you're kidding," I laughed nervously. "No, just no. You can't expect me to do that." The damn woman practically wanted me to shave my head.

"Don't overreact," she laughed at me. "And why not? You'll look so good with one."

"Do you even know what a fucking Chelsea cut is," I snapped.

"I don't," Barbra Barb cut in obviously a little confused. We all looked at her temporarily forgetting she was even there.

"It's a hairstyle that was popular in London with girl skinheads. You shave the back of the head and leave bangs and side fringes," Flip explained.

"And," Astrid cut in, "You don't have to do it exactly like that and shave the back of your head completely. You can cut your hair enough in the back to the point where you could just spike it up. Erik and Emil can even help teach you how to spike your hair." I couldn't help but smile a little as she mentioned Erik and Emil about their hair. They spent almost and hour each day on their hair.

"Oh, well that sounds like the edge you were going for," Barbra Barb smiled.

"C'mon Chels, this is exactly what you need. Something new, and different, and exciting," Astrid tried to plead with me. "This will give you a whole new look and a whole new feeling about everything."

I raised my eyebrow. "Isn't that a bit too dramatic."

"You know what I mean," she said sternly. Ok, stern Astrid is just as scary as stern Alex.

I knew exactly what she meant. My want for keeping my hair the same was just another memory of my life in Texas. If I could give up one the most treasured things of my past, then moving onto a new chapter in my life will just be that more easier. I sighed as I pulled my hair onto one side. I ran my hands through it as I looked at the brown and fading blue.

Time to let go

"Do what you will," I said as I shut my eyes.

"Now who's being dramatic," Astrid joked. I stuck my tongue at her and Barbra turned my seat to face her.

"Ready honey," she asked sympathetically.

I opened my eyes slowly and looked at her. I nodded my head and closed them tight again.
***************************
"Why can't I just go in with y'all," I whined.

"Because this is special. This is a whole new you and we want the guys to be surprised," Flip reasoned with me.

"It's just a fucking haircut, what's so special about it." After an half an hour Barbra Barb finished cutting my hair and I was a little shocked at how well it turned out. The first thing I saw was the bangs that covered my forehead and the fringe that now framed my face. It looked nice. Next was the back which I was really dreading. Barbra Barb turned me around so my back was facing the mirror and held a small mirror in front of me so I could see the back of my head. It was cut up to me neck and was very choppy. It wasn't shaved but more thinner. There was still enough hair where I could spike it up like Astrid had suggested. To be honest, I kind of liked it. But too their standards, it wasn't enough, yet.

Flip then suggested that we should color it. I didn't want to do black because everyone does black and I always colored my hair black. If I'm gonna have a whole new look, then I might as well do something more vibrant than the usual dark color I've done to my hair. After five minutes of thinking, Flip suggested we do really bright red. I was a little hesitant at first, because that was such a bright color and would no doubt get a lot of attention. But Astrid tried to reason with saying that the point of cutting my hair was for a new look and a new me. So we colored it, thanked Barbra Barb, and left.

"You," Astrid pointed at me clearly annoyed with my protests, "Stay there and don't move," she commanded. "C'mon," she motioned to Flip and they walked inside the motel room. I groaned as I slammed my head against the wall behind me.

"Hey, where's Chelsea?" I heard Alex ask.

"She's outside," Flip answered.

"Why is she waiting outside?" Erik asked confused.

The girls ignored Erik's question and I could hear Flip calling me to go inside. I decided to be a bit of smart ass and didn't answer. "Chelsea you can come in now," Flip said a second time.

"I'm following orders," I shouted. "Astrid said to stay here and not move, so I'm just listening to what she says." I couldn't help but smirk.

"Oh for Christ's sake," I heard Astrid shout from inside. I couldn't help the choked laugh that escaped my lips. I was suddenly pulled forward by Astrid reaching around the wall and pulling me inside. Being the clumsy ditz that I am, I managed to fall to my knees and hands as she pulled me into the room. "Shit, I'm sorry Chels," she quickly apologized.

"I'm fine," I cut her off as I picked myself off the floor. When I finally straightened myself out I looked up to see all the guys staring at me with wide eyes and open jaws. "It's not that bad," I said starting to feel self-conscious. "Shit! I knew that stupid cut was a bad idea. I should have said no. There's a thousand cuts that I--" My rant was cut off by Erik placing his hand over my mouth. I was really getting annoyed by that now.

"Would you shut up for like five seconds," he said. I scowled at him as I tried to bite him, but to no avail.

"It's really good," Alex said breaking the silence that fell over the room.

"Yeah, you look fucking cool," Emil shouted.

"Definitely different," Bo smiled.

I looked over at Erik who still had his hand over my mouth. "You look beautiful," he whispered in my ear. He finally removed his hand away from my mouth and I stepped forward.

"So, it's alright," I said still feeling really self conscious.

"It's perfect," Alex smiled as he pulled me into a hug.

For once, I believed that things may be perfect.