About a Girl

One day in New York and I managed to almost get raped, have a panic attack, and give the guys heart attacks. So much for this being a fun visit to one of my favorite cities. Erik and Emil decided to take me out on the town while the others did some business pertaining to me. At eight in the morning they had rudely awoken me by jumping on me as I slept. After pushing them both off the bed they told me to get ready so they could take me out to breakfast while the couples did their own thing.

I brushed my teeth, threw on some baggy black pants and a Pink Floyd shirt two sizes too big, and my converse. After I finished dressing Erik and Emil dragged me out of the apartment and Erik called a taxi. While in the taxi I looked at Erik and Emil. This was the first time where I could actually just look at them. And I hate myself for saying this, but they were undoubtedly attractive; even if they both reminded me of skeletons. With the way their way too tight pants and tight shirts hugged them showing of there protruding bones; it was kind of scary and sexy at the same time. Their skin was fair, almost olive. I looked down at my arms noticing how pale I was compared to them and much meat I had on my bones. I looked like a fat ghost. Before I could inspect them anymore and talk myself down, I was interrupted when Erik began pulling at my hand.

'C'mon, we're here." I grabbed his hand still in a daze of self pity and followed him out of the taxi. I let my eyes wander up to see a big Denny's sign over the building in front of us. Denny's in New York, how different can be from a Denny's in Texas? The guys took the lead as I trailed behind them with my head ducked down.

"Hello there, please take a seat your server will be with you shortly," a girl who seemed maybe a year older than me spoke as we entered. I watched as she plastered a fake smile on her tanned face her voice overly bubbly. She was living a normal teenager life probably. I never was one for normal.

"How many pills did you take," I heard Erik ask. I noticed that we had sat at a booth with me on one side and the the guys on the other. I felt a little annoyed that he'd just automatically assume that I was on something, but I guess I didn't help myself when the first thing I did every morning for the past week was down a few pills.

"I didn't take anything." His eyebrow raised as he looked at me skeptically. My annoyance only grew as he just stared at me expecting me to admit that I took a pill. "I fucking swear that I didn't take anything. If I did take a fucking pill I wouldn't be this fucking bitchy." My voice slightly raised at the end of my sentence earning me a few glares from the elderly couple that sat behind Erik and Emil. Great, more stares. I could feel myself shrink into the seat behind me. I really should have taken something.

"Why?" Emil asked.

I inaudibly groaned as I looked at the twins. Why didn't I notice they could be so fucking annoying.

Cause they fooled you.

I felt myself cringe when I heard the voice. They weren't try to patronize me, they were just trying to see if anything was wrong. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at y'all. My nerves are just acting out." And it was true. Without the numbness the pills gave me I felt paranoid. Being in public places like this with so many people got me on edge. Even if none of them paid me no mind I still felt like a billion scrutinizing eyes were on me. "I didn't take any because I just wanted to prove to y'all that I don't always need them to be a functioning human being."

Lie

"Chels," Erik started as he placed a hand on mine that had been gripping the table tightly, but he never got to finish when a waiter came up to our table.

"Hi, my names Rick, can I start you all with some drinks." We all quickly said our orders, me slightly stuttering when I spoke. And apparently Erik and Emil already knew what they wanted and ordered their food too. I was too busy lost in my thoughts to even bother opening the menu that was in front of me. When the waiter looked at me I felt like a fish out of water. Literally. I felt my mouth open a few times probably resembling a fish and I felt the heat rise from my neck to my face most likely making me look like a tomato. I stupidly looked up at the waiter at his face and, what may have been real or fake, an annoyed expression covered his features.

"I-I uh," I began to stutter. Oh yeah, making myself look like an absolute idiot is my fucking specialty. Why didn't I take a fucking pill?

"She'll have the same as me," Erik quickly said. I looked at him and gave him look of gratefulness. The waiter smiled at us and said he'd be back shortly with our drinks. As soon as the waiter left I let my head fall to the table as I groaned, this this time audibly. That's exactly the reason I took pills. They made me feel relaxed. I didn't feel the need to hide, I didn't feel like people were gonna judge me, I was too numb to feel anything. "Chelsea," Erik said sternly as he grabbed my hand again. I leaned my head on it's side so I could look up at Erik and Emil. "You don't need to prove anything to us. We know that it's hard for you in social situations and that the pills are only there to help you. We just wanna make sure that a problem doesn't ensue."

You're already addicted.

"That will never happen," I spoke softly as I pulled my hand from his grasp and sat upright. We spent the rest of breakfast talking and making jokes. Erik and Emil were trying to make me laugh by making fun of this family that looked like they came straight out the movie The Stupids. I kid you not, they could have been stunt doubles in the movie.

The waiter came back with our drinks shortly followed by our food. Two pancakes, two strips of bacon, a piece of ham, and some hash browns sat before me on a beige plate. It really made me sick to my stomach. I can't remember the last time I actually sat down for an actual breakfast. After we finished eating, or me eating half my plate while they stuffed their faces, we went walking around the city. It felt so different walking in New York with it's towering skyscrapers and busy streets. They say everything is bigger in Texas, but being in this huge city made the city I lived in feel so small.

"You look so fascinated," Emil laughed as I almost walked onto oncoming traffic.

"Please watch where you're going," Erik said as he gripped my arm and pulled me back.

"Sorry," I apologized sheepishly. "It's just so different here. I'm still trying to realize that I'm no longer in Texas."

"It's okay, just be more alert." I nodded my head and we continued walking. I let my eyes wander around again as Erik kept a tight grip on my arm. The sky was a murky gray, I couldn't tell if it was because of clouds or the smog that came with such a big city. I tried to keep my focus on the sky to avoid other people gazes, but after awhile my neck started to hurt and I had to look forward.

I caught gaze with a girl. She had long red hair, bright green eyes, and a perfect face. She was stunning. I watched as she strutted down the sidewalk past us. Whether the snarl on her face was directed at me, or at someone else, it still made me feel like shit.

Thrash.

I didn't even know if the snarl on her face was real, or just my mind seeing shit.

"Any tighter and you may just rip my hand off," Erik chuckled. I looked down to see that I had been gripping his hand tightly.

"Sorry, I-I," I trailed off not knowing what I was trying to say.

"It's okay," he smiled reassuringly. "Just keep your head held high and middle finger in the air," he said as he and Emil actually raised their middle fingers. I shook my head at them laughing a little. If only it was as easy as that.

"How much longer are we walking?" I asked. My legs were really starting to hurt.

"Just one more block and we'll be at our destination," Emil replied.

"How do y'all even know where to walk?"

"When Krist moved here our parents saw that as a opportunity to get rid of us during the summers and get a 'break' from us," Erik smirked as he said the word break.

"Were y'all really that bad as kids." I was genuinely interested in knowing how they acted as kids. They reminded me of those brothers who were close and would get into all types of trouble. Even though I had a brother we were never close and thus I never really understood what it's like to have a sibling to play with or get in trouble with.

"Oh we were the worst," Erik laughed.

"We could give the Terror Twins a run for their money," Emil added. I laughed at the mention of the nickname Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee gave themselves in Motley Crue.

"With y'all' s hair y'all could pass for them too," I joked.

"Psh, I'm far more attractive than Sixx," Erik said as he flipped his head to the side.

"And who said you were Sixx," Emil challenged Erik.

"Cause I'm the hotter one out of us, what do you expect?" Erik said matter-o-factly. This led to a 10 minute argument over who was who and who got more girls. Lucky for me, before they got too far in the sex conversation Emil saw that we had reached our destination.

"We're here," he said in a sing song voice. I looked up to see bright orange letters that spelled out Generation Records. "Krist used to bring us here when we were kids," Emil told me.

"That's if we behaved," Erik snorted. I smiled at them as they led me in the record store. It was pretty amazing to say the least. Aisle by aisle carried numerous records from mainstream metal like Metallica to local underground punk. The walls were covered in posters and records. Overall, this place felt like heaven.

We spent about 2 hours looking through the aisles picking out all the records we liked. Making fun of covers that just shouldn't be on a metal album and getting into some heated discussion with one the employees about how the sound quality of vinyl will always beat any CD or mp3. By 5 o'clock it was time to head back to Krist's apartment. Speaking of Krist I really wanted to ask the guys a question.

"Why does Krist hate me?" I spoke aloud. They seemed a little taken aback by the forwardness of the question.

"He doesn't hate you," Erik spoke.

"He just hates the consequences that could happen with you." That really didn't make me feel any better about joining the band.

Useless burden.

"Look at it this way. If you were two years older, he'd be your best friend. He just doesn't want anything to happen to us or the band. We've worked so hard already to get where we are now and he's been there since the start. He doesn't want to see it all go down the drain." I nodded my head and the trip back to the apartment was filled with nonsense conversations. The whole way I couldn't help but think of how much my age was a burden on the guys. If only I was just two years older I wouldn't have to hide.

When we finally made it back to the apartment I was greeted by Alex immediately coming up to me and asking, "What did you take?" I already knew what he meant and I couldn't help but let out an annoyed grunt, but then again I really brought it upon myself.

"I didn't take anything." He eyed me skeptically. I tried my hardest not to snap when I said, "I fucking promise." When he saw that I was serious he nodded his head and beckoned me to the living room where everyone else was sitting on the couches.

"We have some stuff to discuss," Alex said as he motioned for me to take a seat. I was a little surprised that Erik didn't immediately pull me onto his lap. I was getting so used to it now. This must be serious. "While you were out we finished getting the necessary shit to get you out of the country." I looked down at the small table that stood between the two couches. There was a folder on it. Alex picked up the folder and opened it. He started taking out papers and forms, I was a little scared. "Your name is now Diane Knight. You were born June 24, 1993 ad you're 18 years old. That's just the main information you have to know. The other stuff is just useless shit that they'll check, but you don't have to know. And also, you were born in Texas, but moved to Seattle when you were 12, which would explain why you look like a white girl with a southern drawl."

The guys snickered at what Alex said. I just looked down blushing a little. "If you don't mind us asking, what ethnicity are you," Flip asked.

"Uh, Hispanic. Most of my family came from Mexico." Which reminded me how many family members I had that were illegal immigrants. How many of them changed their identity just to have a new life in America. It was almost ironic.

"So why are you so pale?" Bo said earning him a elbow to the side by Flip. "Ow, I'm just asking," he complained to Flip.

"Uh, my dad's side of the family have descendants in Spain which are mostly known for having pale skin."

"So, can you speak Spanish?" Erik asked. I laughed a little at how everyone seemed to be interested if I could speak Spanish.

"Yeah, it was my first language."

"But you don't have a accent," Emil said.

"I was born in Texas and raised in Seattle. What do you expect?" I smirked a little.

"See, you'r getting it," Alex exclaimed. I smiled a little.

"So, can you say something in Spanish," Emil said excitedly.

"Okay, but then y'all have to say something in Swedish."

"Deal," Erik said. I took a moment to think of what to say.

"¿Cómo conseguiste todas esas cosas?" They all looked at me with very confused expressions. "I'll tell y'all after ya'll said something."

"Okay, uh," Erik started. " "Vi förstår inte ett ord du sa."

"Så vi ska säga saker du inte förstår," Emil said.

Followed by Bo saying, "Och titta på förvirrat uttryck i ansiktet."

And Alex finished with, "Och börjar skratta." As soon as Alex finished talking they all started laughing. I felt myself blush. I ahd no idea what they said and my mind immediately went to the worst possible things they could have said.

"Relax," Erik said as he sat enxt to me and pulled me onto his lap. "We didn't say anything bad."

"Then what did y'all say?"

"That you won't understand a word we're saying and your confused expression's gonna make us laugh," Bo said.

"Which it did," Emil added. I felt myself blush again. I must have be redder than a tomato.

"Now tell us what you said," Alex said.

"How did you get all that stuff? The passport and papers, it reminds me of being little and listening to stories about how most of my family are illegal immigrants."

"You have family that were Aliens," Erik exclaimed. I hit him on the arm. I may not have liked my family, but I hated when people would call them Aliens.

"Yes. Now please answer me." I really was curious. It was all just so surreal. It was crazy that this was really happening.

"Krist knew some people that work with illegal trafficking who owed him some favors. To make it simple, he hooked us up," Alex explained.

"Krist did this?" I was shocked to say the least.

"Not that he actually did it, he just convinced other people to do it." I was really at a lost for words.

"Like I said," Erik said as he moved me so I was looking at him, "He really cares about this band and will do anything to help us keep going." I nodded my head softly. I really needed to thank him.

"When are we leaving?" I asked.

"Tomorrow at 6am," Alex said. My eyes widened a little . So soon? I could feel my head start to slightly spin.

"Can I go lay down, I'm really tired." They all laughed a little.

"You are too cute, you know that," Erik laughed into my neck.

"You don't have to ask us if you can go to bed," Alex said between laughs. How many times have I blushed today? Sometime I really hate myself. I grabbed my head as I began to feel dizzier. I really wanted a pill.

"Okay, I-I'll see y'all l-later," I stuttered out. I quickly moved from Erik's lap and rushed to the room I have been staying in. I laid in the bed in fetal position. I can't tell what's bothering me most. Going a day without pills and basically torturing myself, or the fact that I'm leaving tomorrow to a whole new country. They were both pretty fucking scary.