Two Is Better Than One

I was on the couch, watching The Mighty Boosh. BBC is like...my thing. It's sort of a dirty little secret though. My guilty pleasure. I was laughing so hard, and forgot that Averi was sleeping. So when the door to my bedroom slowly opened and she poked her little head out, it faded into a slight smile. She smiled at me, for the first time. And it was beautiful. Stunned, I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed a, "Sorry, did I wake you?" She shook her head no.

"Thank you, Ashley. For everything. I was wrong about you. You're a good guy." She said, looking down at the floor, embarassed that she had been wrong. "So in return, I guess I should explain myself." Averi came and sat down next to me on the couch, her hair messy, her make-up still in streams down her face, and her eyes puffy from crying so hard earlier. I don't know how, but somehow, she still looked gorgeous. I turned my body towards her and listened:

"I grew up in Missouri, just like you. My family was picture-perfect. We were close and happy and loved each other more than anything. I had an older brother and an older sister. They were perfect, too. I was the black sheep. I always had a healthy knack for adventure, a sense of it that wouldn't leave me. I was wild." She paused, smiling as if remembering her childhood. And then it faded into a thin line. "When I was a teenager, I rebelled. Joined a punk-rock band. Was the lead singer. Loved music more than my own life. My band got pretty big and we went to New York. On the first night of our headlining tour, my family wanted to surprise me." Her voice broke and quavered, the locks on her eyelids broke, and tears came out. I took her hand in mine as she spoke.

"On their plane ride there, the plane crashed and everyone was killed instantly. Everyone; my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, was killed because of me." She trembled, as if frightened. And she sobbed. I went to say she didn't have to say any more, but she kept going.

"After that, music meant nothing and everything at the same time. It no longer held the same exhileration as it had before, but instead it reminded me of my family. Of their absence in my life. And I couldn't take it. So I blocked it all out. With drugs, and alcohol. I left my band. I went to LA. Had to work the streets for money to buy my drugs. Somehow, that got me into porn. The pay check was more than enough to get me the 'good stuff.' So I did it. One day when I was in the car with my slutty friends, a song came on the radio. It was The Used. All That I've Got. And suddenly, I could hear again. I woke up. The music...it woke me up. So I left everything behind me. And that's where I am now." She looked up at me. Those big blue eyes. They had been through so much.

The first half of Averi's life was awful. A living hell. And she was sent into my path. I was supposed to help her. To make the second half of her life heaven. I wanted to. Suddenly, I had to. I'm not even sure she needed me. But I needed her. More than anything.