Mess You Made

Jack—

“I punched Alex in the face.”

There was a silence. It was uneasy and I felt myself wince. I never thought I would say those words, in general, but especially about my best friend. He was the one person I thought I could always count on and those days were long gone.

“You punched him in the face?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

She blows out a breath, standing up and walking over to sit beside me on the couch. I feel her hand touch my knee. “Jack, this is serious. Was it because of…her?”

I look over at Jamie, her dark blue eye-shadow much too heavy for her lids and her pink lipstick too striking with her cheekbones. So fake. “Of course it was because of her,” I say lifelessly. That’s how I’d been saying everything lately. There was no purpose to living anymore. “Everything is because of her.” I let my face fall into my hands. Jamie’s hand moves from my leg to my back, rubbing up and down my spine.

“Why did you punch him?” she asks casually, her hand falling closer and closer to my lower back.

“He was writing her something,” I mutter, squeezing my eyes shut. “I was fine with that. But what he was saying…” I take a deep breath. “Jamie, he was telling her all these things…things that only I should be telling her. Not Alex.”

Another sigh passes her lips. “You know she cheated on with him, so—“

“I know, Jamie!” I growl, pushing her hand off of me and getting to my feet. “God, every time I come to see you, talk to you as a friend you fucking mention it. Shit, do you want me to always be reminded that my girlfriend had an affair with my best friend? What the fuck did I do to you to deserve that treatment?”

“You slept with me and didn’t call me.”

My arms fly into the air before I can stop them. “And again, with this!” I blow air out from between my clenched teeth. I felt rage pulsing through me. “Son of a bitch, that night meant nothing! I was with Sadie and I feel awful about it. So let it go, all right?”

“She cheated on you, why should you feel bad about cheating on her?”

“Because…because…” I press my lips together until my face started to hurt. “My cheating may have been unintentional but it was still the worst thing I ever could’ve done.”

Jamie’s face drains of color. “Then why did see me all the time, teasing me?”

“I’m not teasing you,” I roll my eyes. “Grow up, Jamie. I came to you as a friend. You’re the only person who doesn’t look at me with pity or…or detest for the fact that I’m acting ‘juvenile’ over all of this. Okay? So please just spare your judgment for today and let me vent to you.” I walk over and sit back down beside her, keeping a few feet between us.

She takes in a deep breath. “Fine. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Are you still seeing your therapist?”

A snort falls out of my mouth. “Of course not. I dropped that shit months ago. A shrink is not going to help me with my problem.” My hand clenches. “Beating the shit out of Alex will.”

“No it won’t,” she assures me, touching my hand lightly. I flinch. She removes her touch immediately. “You can’t take all your anger out on Alex. He may have had an affair with Sadie, but it’s not like it was something for sport. He loved her.”

“Since when are you defending him?”

“Since I saw that you weren’t going to get over her.”

My eyes flick to hers. She actually looked sincere for once. “Why would I want to get over her?” I ask softly, my faze averting back to her Jamie’s shag carpeting beneath me. “I love her.”

Jamie shakes her head. “You’re in love with the idea of her Jack. She’s long gone. She’s been gone for a year. Didn’t you say yourself that Alex had said it perfectly?” Her head cocks to the side, her face sweet. It was the first time Jack had seen her say something normally.

I nod.

“What was it he said?” she asks.

“‘She isn’t coming back,’” I repeat, my heart breaking at the words. They were terribly true. “‘Why should we still be like this of she’s out of our lives?’”

“Exactly,” Jamie murmurs. “It’s time to forgive and forget.”

Easier said than done.

Sadie—

“Am I really about to do this?” I ask myself as I stare at my phone.

I was. My mom had convinced me, Cassadee had convinced, fuck, I convinced myself. And I was about to do the one thing I had been determined not to do this entire year.

I finally take a deep breath and grab my cell. I dial Cass’s number before I can stop myself. It rings three times before she picks up. “Hello?” My heart starts to pound as I remember why I’d called. Shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Hey,” I reply. “It’s Sadie.”

“I know,” I could hear the grin in her voice. “What’s up? I’m at the studio and Alex is recording a song right now, so sorry about the music in the background.”

I felt my pulse race at the mention of his name. “It’s okay. I have news.”

I could just image her smile growing bigger. “What’s this news?”

I take a deep breath. Maybe I should change my mind. This is too soon. It’s only been 365 days. Can’t I take a few more days to reconsider? I mean, it’s not like I have to decide right now. The wedding won’t be for another few months and this is just so sudden… “I’m coming back to Maryland.”

A squeal emits from her throat. “Really?!”

I punch myself in the face mentally. “Yeah.”

“This is amazing!” she grins. I suddenly hear a door open, a door close, and then silence in the background on her side of the line. She must have left the studio. “I am so excited. Sades, you don’t know what this means to me.”

“Hm,” I murmur, wanting to just take a bludgeoning weapon and hit myself with it repeatedly. “I don’t know when I’m coming, but I’ll be there within the next week.”

“I can’t believe it. This is amazing,” she repeats.

I take a deep breath, reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose. “Can you just…promise me you won’t say anything about it to…them?” Shit, I couldn’t even say their names and I would seeing them in less than a week. “I…I don’t…”

“I understand,” she assures me. “God. Everyone is gonna be happy to see you. I promise.”

Easier said than done.