Keep Me On My Toes

The end of the gig was a sad, sad thing for me. I had to leave all the friends I'd made, and face the real world again. There was nothing like the feeling of gigs. They made everything bearable- for just three hours of complete and utter release.

Chess grabebd my wrist and pulled me over to side stage, flashing the security guard a smile before he stepped aside. What the fuck? Does she have like magic charms or something? Then I remembered- she dates Max. Everyone knows who she is. I mean, they're not exactly very subtle. I'm suprised she didn't get recognised from the amount of pictures and shit all over the internet of her.

We didn't tell our new friends about our previous... experiences. 1, they wouldn't believe us and 2, it's pretty embarrassing to be honest. As we walked backstage, it struck me Chess knew exactly where she was going. She had to have known she was going to make me meet them all again. I hate her sometimes.

We got to a room, on which she knocked before walking in. I was a few steps behind, a little hesistant to see everyone. I had no clue if they knew I was even here, let alone how they'd react.

I walked in, only to have someone walk straight into me on their way out. I was knocked on my ass (great one, Siana. Really smooth), as the person apologised profusely. I flicked my hair out of my face but that didn't work. I was all sweaty from jupming around and it stuck to my face. I must have looked really fucking attractive at this point but wow was I over caring.

I eventually managed to look up into the face of a laughing Edward. Holy shit have I missed him! I got up as quickly as I could and threw myself into his arms. Everyone around the room cooed and my face flushed with embarrassment. Who even coos?

I let go of Edward, and took my first proper glance around the room. Band, crew, friends, family... everyone was here. And everyone was looking at the scene I had caused. Fucking fabulous. However, after a second a few people got up and hugged me. I had missed everyone no doubt, but so far I hadn't seen the one person I wanted to.

I turned my head as Chris hugged me, finally spotting the face I missed so dearly in the corner of the room looking certainly shell-shocked. So I was right, Chess hadn't told anyone I was here.

I smiled weakly, letting go of Chris. Did he want me to come and talk to him or?

After my round of hugs and small talk, I finally got the guts to go up to him. Sitting next to Josh, i was struck with a wave of guilt. He was still obviously upset with what I'd done to him, but he was trying not to show it. As we looked at each other, both at a loss to what to say, I made my mind up. I threw my arms around him, hugging him tighter than I'd ever held anyone. He returned the gesture, neither of us letting go for a long time.

It was so good to know we were okay. I mean, of course we weren't good but at least I knew we could be. The nerves I had previously felt washed away the longer he held onto me. He wanted me to be his friend still. By the time we released each other and shakily laughed, the room had emptied significantly. It was now only a few crew members, a few friends and the band.

Although we didn't talk for the rest of the night at all, we sat and held hands while everyone talked. This was deffinately an incredible end to an incredible night.

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The next morning, I awoke in Chess's bed. We'd decided to stay over at hers as we always used to after gigs. I felt a whole lot lighter than I had done in a while.

I checked my phone, as I did first thing every morning but this time I was greeted by a new number. All it said was, 'I missed you so much'. I knew who it was right then, and wondered how long ago Josh had gotten a new number.

I saved his number, and replied telling him I missed him also. I wasn't expecting one, but I recieved a reply almost immediately asking me to meet him for breakfast at a local cafe. I accepted, getting showered and dressed, leaving a note to Chess as she wasn't awake. I'd come back afterwards to get my stuff before going home.

I looked myself in the mirror one more time- I certainly looked a little different to how Josh was used to me. I'd changed my style slightly recently... I was dressed in high waisted 80s style jeans with a 'Disobey' top on, along with extenions and black lipstick. I hoped I wouldn't scare him off by dressing like this. I mean, it wasn't exactly normal and I got my fair share of snide looks and even comments, but I felt comfortable like this and I wasn't going to change who I am for a guy.

Walking to the cafe, a rush of nerves entered my system. I certainly wasn't expecting that. Nevertheless, I gained control of them and pushed open the door, walking to the table where Josh was sat. It was fairly near the back of the cafe, with not many people sitting around where he was. However, it was next to the cute fire and it was fucking cold outside.

I sat, giving a quick smile before bowing my head. I didn't know what to do with myself. Josh made the first move, speaking up quietly. 'I bought this... I don't know if you want it but I bought it for your birthday. I mean, you're only 18 once and all. But I didn't know if you'd want it so I don't know just here.. take it.' He rambled on, unsureness lacing his voice.

I looked back up, seeing the wrapped box on the table. I grinned properly then, I'm a girl I fucking love presents ok.

I tore open the paper, jaw dropping when I saw the Jeffrey Campbell box. He did NOT buy me these shoes. I opened the box, seeing the spiked Lita's I'd wanted forever. 'Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou,' I repeated over and over again, amazed at his gift. These shoes were worth over £100... how could he do that for me?!

'I remember you saying you wanted them... I hope you still do...' He trailed off, still looking completely unsure.

'Of course I do! You're amazing thankyou so much. But just so you know, you can't keep buying me gifts every time you mess up.' As I said this I smiled internally, thinking how much I sounded like that final scene in 10 Things I had About You where Patrick buys Cat a guitar... That is like the best fucking film ever ok, don't judge me.

'I didn't mean to! I just... I don't know I'm sorry.' Poor Josh looked completely mortified. I didnt mean it like that!

'Hey, I didn't mean it like that! I love them, thankyou.' I said with a warm smile, looking into his eyes. He seemed to relax with this, the rest of our conversation coming much easier. By the end of our breakfast, we were practically back to before. I missed this, and didn't realise how much I did to be honest.