Dangerous Minds

(Ian's POV)
I fucking wish he understood.

Sean lay there, curled up on his bed, fast asleep while I stared down at him. I wanted to throw him off my knee and wake him up for doing this to me. Who does he think he is? He's got no power over me, and he never will. I won't let him.

But I can't help it. Why does he have to get upset over the shit I say to him? I'm just being honest. Would he prefer it if I lies to him? Not that I care either way. I can do what I want, his opinion doesn't matter, and doesn't affect me.

He was beautiful though. I couldn't deny that. The way his feather light, blonde fringe would dangle in front of him, or how he would seductively bite his bottom lip when he was nervous. God, I wanted him. That was what got to me the most. Yes, I was attracted to him, I'll happily admit it, but I shouldn't be. I'm Ian fucking Watkins. I'm gorgeous, talented, hilarious, amazing in bed, intelligent and most of all, better than him. I was too good for him, but he was good enough for me. Does that make sense? Probably not.

That's why I'm in here. Apparently I let my arrogance and vanity cloud my vision. What am I, a fucking Jedi? I may have also became delusional and thought I was unstoppable, went power crazy and demanded to be worshipped but whatever. That's in the past.

A strange expression curled on Sean's face while he slept, he looked a little distressed. I don't know what about, he's got it pretty easy, apart from Jack of course. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with Barakat, he's just a bit of a drama queen, but we're all like that deep down. Oli's a schizo so that's obviously hard for him, Alex had that I-won't-eat-because-I'm-a-self-conscious-bitch thing and ... no, there's nothing wrong with Josh either. He just likes to put things in order, and takes things now and again. Sean's clearly been feeling a bit down lately, get him a puppy, quick fix.

That's what they should call me, Quick Fix Ian. Except they don't. They call me dickhead because I voice my opinion. I definitely have the worst illness, it makes everyone hate me for being myself. I can't help the way I go on, I'm just telling the truth.

I sighed, running my fingers through Sean's hair. Maybe I wasn't as special as I thought. I'd never be good enough for him. He was kind and compassionate, whereas I was a mental case with no friends, no family, and no life.

No. I wouldn't think like that. Not again. There's nothing wrong with me. I'f fucking sex on legs and everyone knows it. Especially Sean. Oh, that little slut knows it all right. I kissed him softy on the temple as he slept, for some unknown reason, gently moved him off my knee and left his room in search of the others.

Shaking my hips extra sexily, I pushed open the double doors to the television room and stalked it, ignoring the visitors that were here with their family members as they stared at me, probably checking my bulge out. Hell, I'm not complaining, and I can't exactly blame them, I'm fucking huge.

"Fatso, Attention Whore." I greeted the two boys with a nod, taking a seat between them on the couch. I frowned, "Where's Schizo and The Artful Dodger."

Jack rolled his eyes, acting like he didn't find me hilarious. He obviously did, or he wouldn't have let me fuck him. Haha, I fucked Alex's boyfriend. "Yes, yes, Ian, you're very funny. And I don't know. They snuck off a while ago."

My face lip up and I winked at my followers, glee obvious on my face. Oh, hello.