You Mean More to Me Than Words Could Ever Say

2 weeks later.

X~x~X~x~X

I was never one to bitch and moan to people about my problems. I normally was simply content with holding in my feelings, locking them away until they seemed to disintegrate somewhere in the shallow depths of my mind.

But now everything was starting to get to me.

I haven't spoken to Gerard since our arguement, if that's what you'd even call it. He had his seat moved in Art and ignored me in music class. I made no attempt to approach him either, because I figured if he really wanted to talk to me he would.

Finally Mikey spoke to me again about it.

I was sitting down on a bench outside the school and he came over to me, slowly with his head tilted back, looking through his glasses that were perched on the edge of his nose.

"So, Frank."

I looked up at him as he awkwardly scratched the side of his cheek. I didn't answer so he continued.

"You and Gerard still aren't talking, huh?" I felt my nerves kick in to the extreme, not really knowing why, and just pursed my lips tight, as if I just tasted a lemon. He sighed out heavily before putting his arm on my shoulder.

"Is it because of what you confessed to me before?" I contemplated what he was referring to, figuring he meant when I said I was sexually attracted to Gerard.

"God dammit Frank answer me!"

I looked up at him with doe eyes, collecting my thoughts.

"Do you mean when I said I was sexually attracted to Gerard?" He nodded.

"Is it starting to get to you or something? Is that why you're avoiding him?" He asked. I felt anger prick at my insides.

"Woah woah woah, I am NOT avoiding him. He's avoiding ME."

"Alright, well, which ever it is...I have a question." Mikey said nervously. I made a gesture for him to continue.

"Do you like him or something? Because you're so weird about him." I realized I had to come up with a decision quick on whether to confess or not.

I thought about how happy Gerard and Ryder are. And how my feelings would fuck it up.

"No, Mikey. Its only a physical thing." I said, sounding more honest than I could have hoped. He seemed to process this information before standing up.

"Okay..." He seemed to zone out unknowingly.

"Mikey...you didn't tell him that right?" He snapped out of his thoughts and looked me right in the eye.

"God, no, I know were not super close or anything but I wouldn't betray you like that man." I smiled at him and then stood up.

"Thanks." I said sincerely.

"No problem Frank. Just please, do me a favor and fix whatever is going on between you too." I nodded, but he had already turned and headed off towards the parking lot.

Later that evening after stopping at the comic book store, I walked through the front door of my house and to my bedroom, pushing open the door almost shitting my pants.

There sat Bob and Ray on my bed like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Jesus saint fuck!" I yelled. They started laughing before yelling 'Hey!' in unison.

"How the hell did you guys get in here?" They smiled and Ray looked at Bob expectantly.

"Your mom let us in." Bob chirped. Her car wasn't even in the driveway?

"She isn't home.." I stated, raising an eyebrow.

"She was earlier." It was Ray who spoke this time. I nodded, but before I could say anything, Bob interjected.

"Now listen, Frank." I threw him a shocked, questioning glare but he ignored it.

"If we want this whole fucking 'band' thing to work out, then we all need to be cool with each other. And that can't happen if Gerard and you are fucking fighting." He said sternly. I looked to Ray for help but he was on the same page as Bob.

"Frank, whatever it is, make it better. Its most likely over something silly so do something about it. From what Mikey told me, Gerard is very sensitive. So you need to take the first step. Okay?" Ray was much calmer when he spoke, considering that's just how he is. I looked back and forth between them both, running through my conversation with Mikey again, before realizing that not only was I going to make it right, but I was going to do it today.

"Alright guys, I understand. I talked to Mikey earlier. I know what I have to do. I'm going to head over there now." They nodded, before standing up, patting me on the shoulder, and walking out. I walked over to the mirror, checking my hair, before realizing I was being a dumb ass. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

As I pulled up to the Way household, my nerves grew stronger and my legs felt weak. I had a sick feeling in my stomach, and my palms were even starting to sweat. I stepped out of my vehicle and headed to the front door, ringing the door bell. I awkwardly shifted my weight from one foot to the other as I stood there expectantly. I waited for what seemed like hours when it was probably only about 10 seconds. Finally I heard footsteps, and then saw the door handle turn, before it slowly opened. I looked up to find myself looking into the eyes of Gerard.

My heart jumped and pounded so hard I felt as if my chest were a drum. He looked completely stunned and bewildered for a moment, before his expression softened. I felt a small sense of relief. He stepped out of the house, not bothering to close the door, and enveloped me in a tight embrace. I was shocked, but accepted it happily of course. Before I knew it, Gerard was crying. Now why in the hell was he crying?

"Frank," He mumbled. Then he started really sobbing. I put my hand timidly on the back of his head, as he buried his face in my neck. I did the same. He mumbled my name a couple more times, before backing away and looking into my eyes with his puffy and swollen ones.

"Don't cry Gerard." The look on his face broke my heart. His eyes filled with tears, his cheeks slick and glossy, the way every bit of light seemed to fade from his eyes. He was truely upset. I felt tears prick at my own eyes, and a couple even dared fall down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Frank. I'm so sorry." I hugged him again, whispering to calm down. After a few minutes, we both gathered our selves. He backed away again. We walked over to the step and sat down next to each other.

"Gerard..." I didn't know what I planned on saying, but thankfully he cut me off.

"Frank, I'm so sorry I blew up on you. I've hurt so many people in the past because I get so pissed when people question certain things I do." I nodded, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes wandered off into nowhere. He continued-

"I ignored you because I figured you were either disgusted in me, because we both know that the marks on my hand are from myself, and I knew that you knew, or I figured you wanted nothing to do with someone who freaks out randomly. So I avoided you. And I'm sorry. You have nothing to apologize for." I was going to ask about why he did what he did to his hand but I figured that would be saved for another conversation another time.

"But I do have to apologize Gerard. Because I let you walk away and didn't try to make it right, and for that I'm sorry." He looked at me now.

"You still took the first step. You came here didn't you?"

"I suppose, but the guys were the ones the got it through to me that I needed to." His face seemed
to fall for a second. I put my fingers under his chin and tilted his face towards me.

"Gerard, I wanted to make it better since that day. I just didn't think you wanted anything to do with me." He nodded, then smiled.

"I'm just glad we cleared it up." He murmured. My eyes moved down to his lips. I wanted to kiss him.

"Me too." I whispered.

Instead of kissing his lips, I copied his actions from that time we spent together on the couch and placed a kiss to his forehead.